Otome Game Review – Riddle Garden


Alternative Titles: リドル・ガーデン

Company: Calamelia

Release date: 26.03.10

Official Site:

http://www.calamelia.jp/

product/riddle/index.html

Platform: PC

Genre: 18+ Otome, rape, romance, bachelors tryna get rich bitch heroine

Plot Summary: Hey guess what, this is a branch company of Will, the guys who made Sugar Beans who made Ijiwaru my rapist and Under the moon!  What does that say about this game I wonder.  So heroine Colette has never been outside her giant mansion before and life’s all good for her.  Then 5 guys show up to fuck up her peaceful way of living and she’s forced to marry one of them and get the hell out and never come back.  In a failed attempt to make things more interesting, one of the guys is actually some assassin who ain’t one of the chosen candidates, some lame shit like dat.  Gee this is gonna be so fun.

Keith Lambert

wots up with their faces?

The playboy prince main guy of Riddle Garden.  Tries to charm Colette right off the bat but she halts his “we are destined to be lovers etc” shit with a simple “omouwanai”.  He claims that they met as kids and that she’s his first love and he’s pretty nice, if somewot boring a guy.

The first path of his path was real boring: blablabla Colette falls in love with prince guy, have sex that kinda shit.  The ‘interesting’ part happens after the sex – Keith notices a 4 leaved clover tattoo on Colette’s back something Colette doesn’t even know exists herself.  Next day, Colette shows him a clover Bradly gave her but he tells her to toss it cuz clovers are a bad omen.  Colette doesn’t get and Keith’s like “wtf everybody knows this” but sees that she doesn’t know and he tells her that the country is supposedly purged of such plants cuz dey cursed and whenever anyone sees one, they’re to set it on fire.  Colette gets pissy and tells Keith to STFU cuz they’re lovers and they’re supposed to do nice shit together, not talk about “scawwy stuff” like this.  Keith apologises (…f0r wot?)and I start hating Colette.

They go to the library and find that every book is wiped of the word clover. Keith realises that ppl in the mansion are keeping it a secret from Colette and runs off the to talk to the butler.

Colette gets even pissier cuz it’s that time of the month she’s a real clingy bitch in this path and mopes in her room alone.  When she takes a shower, she sees in the mirror that mark again and starts flipping out, crying and whining about why it has to be her and starts cutting herself up, trying to get rid of the mark (lol think Archangel from X men when he started slashing up his wings).  Keith has to show up and tell her to stop being an idiot and that regardless of her past, he’ll still love her.

She learns of the country’s past myths with 4leaved clovers.  They used to be seen as good luck and were chosen along with “Shirotsumekusa” flowers to become the national symbol or summin.  During that time, the king had twin princes and the two fell in love with the same woman and proposed to her at the same time.  The woman said she’d marry whoever got her a rainbow clover.  Round about then, the country went into war with other places and the princes were called to the front line.  However, one of the princes mistook an exceptionally shiny clover to be a rainbow one, and caught off guard in the battle, got his ass owned.  In the end, the king went into despair, ordered the woman to be put to death and from then on, clovers were seen as hell.  Twins were too.  Criminals and traitors are branded with the clover and the younger twin is always killed.

Keith doesn’t want Colette to find stupid shit out but tells her about who she really is the next day.  Before he can though, Colette tells him to STFU cuz she doesn’t wanna hear it and her butler refuses to say anything either.  She starts flipping again cuz she’s a lil pussy bitch and Keith hugs her to still her.  Oh god Keith, just slap some sense into this bitch.

Finally Colette stops being a wimp and goes up to Mr Butler Eric and asks him about her past.  Keith says that the girl he met before in his childhood told him about the Shiromekusa flower being her mark.  The SF is the country’s national flower and is marked only on royalty, so the girl was evidently of royal heritage.  However, she ain’t Colette cuz she has a clover instead, but since they look identical one can only come to the conclusion that Colette’s the younger twin  sister of the current queen.  Colette’s mom refused to let Colette to be killedby the tradition of killing younger twins in the country and instead, branded her with the clover mark to distinguish her from her sister and then tossed Colette into her mansion to grow up and live in.  However, a couple weeks ago, the queen managed to abolish the killing twin thing so now Colette’s free to go and they’re looking for a hubby to look after her.  Colette flips again and runs to the gardens and Keith gives her his crazy important watch to cheer her up.

He then spends his whole day searching for a 4 leaved clover to give to Colette and proposes to her, saying that the clover symbolises his love for her through it’s four heart like leaves.  They decide to go see the queen after.

When they get to the palace and see Colette’s older sis Lydia, what’s the first thing Lydia does?  Slap Colette.  That’s the spirit, go give Colette that much needed slap. Like Colette, Lydia’s pretty bitchy and full of wangst, but no one cares about her and days later, Colette’s accepted into the royal family again and he marries Keith.  The end.

Phil Martin

I’ve never really ‘hate hate hated’ any character in otome gaming so here’s a first: I hated this guy.  No srsly, I hated this fuckfag.   I really tried to like him.  I THOUGHT I’d like him: silent, dark haired, red eyed, potential vampire (from Colette’s POV anyway) but he just turned out to be a rude little raping shit.  Even when he finally lightened up and took that ginormous spiked dildo outta his ass, it was already too late, I hated him for good.  And Colette just disgusted me in his route.  What the fuck.

Though suddenly having these shitty circumstances shoved onto her, Colette tries to be nice to the other characters and everyone’s real nice cept for Phil.  He’s always fuck rude and “without delicacy” as Colette puts it and orders her to go on a date with him, only to bitch the whole way about how he doesn’t want to do it and falls asleep on Colette in the end.  I started to dislike him here.

Then we have a sweeter moment where Phil brings Colette out to see the stars at night.  As they marvel at all the pretty lights, Colette gets cold so Phil brings her into his scruffy little scrawl and he actually shows an emotion other than being pissed or pokerfaced. I liked him a little more after this.

THEN HE HAD TO GO FUCK THINGS UP.  Just as Colette was starting to warm up to the guy, he decides to jack into her room and rape her one night cuz he says he’s gotta make some babies and to him, Colette is a baby making machine.  It wasn’t even the hot “ILYSFM that’s why I’m doing this”  kinda rape, it was just him being a fucking rapist and needless to say, that’s when the hating came in.  Colette wasn’t any btr cuz she practically lay there and spread her legs for him.

Next morn, she regains her senses and begins to cry after rmbing wot happened the night b4.  Phil’s all dicking about it and says that he now belongs to her so he hops over that night too to ‘make more babies’.  He then has the nerve to act all lover with Colette and put his arms around her and act as though it’s completely alright for him to do shit like that and to my disgust, Colette goes along with it.  Cue in him emoing about how he used to be trapped when he was in the Martin family and more bs like that which just served to fuel my hatred for him cuz on top of being a complete cunt, he’s also an emo fag.

He demands that Colette marry him and leave the place with him in a week and Colette once again, pisses me off when she doesn’t do anything about it and gives the thumbs up.  She remembers that he covered her with his shawl when it was raining once and decides to make him a new one to be nice.

HOWTHEFUCKEVER, Phil slaps it from her hand and starts mouthing off at her cuz apparently, the shawl wasn’t made from his favourite brand of pubes AND “IT’S GOTTA BE SWEATY MAN PUBES” :@:@:@:@:@ =.=”.  Colette, being a spineless maggot, just apologises for her idiocy and lack of consideration and her butler has to step in to bitchslap Phil and tell him to fucking grow a pair – it’s just a shawl not made from fresh man pubes, stop bitching about it.

Colette’s real hurt and doesn’t get Phil anymore, and we get a sob story about how Phil was the illegitimate lovechild of the noble Martin family and a commoner peasant.  He didn’t know about this and lived in an orphanage till one day, the Martin family came demanding for him cuz he’s a Martin.  They took him from the orphanage and since then, he’s been shackled down and the orphanage has been in ruins.  In order to save the orphanage, the Martin heads say that he’s gotta get a wife with good blood and make a baby, thus he’s using Colette for that.  Hearing that makes her feel sorry and she goes to apologise but she collapses cuz she suddenly has a life endangering fever.

Phil spends the night by her side and begs her not to die, actually acting somewot human for once, but like I said, way too late though Colette is touched by this and after having sex again somewhere, confesses her love to him and wants to be with him.

The two leave the place a week later as scheduled, go back to the Martin family and finally receive funds to save the orphanage and other lame shit like that and ablablabla stupid lame end.

Thank god he has a non rapist ending which was so much btr than his main route cuz ere, he doesn’t spend all his time bitching and raping the heroine.  Instead, he tries to understand her here but still intimidates her. Frustrated, he says he doesn’t know what to do anymore and all he can do know is to stick with her every minute of the day cuz if he can’t have her, neither will he let any other guy take her lol XD

When it rains, the two find shelter in some cottage thingy Colette has in her crazy big garden.  The rain soon turns into a full blown typhoon so they gotta spend the night there and when he sees her shivering form the cold, Phil takes Colette into his lap and watches as she sleeps.

When they return, he’s the one who collapses due to fatigue cuz he’s been awake every night before, standing guard outside her room to protect her from the assassin.  He tells her that he loves her, the two have sex but he pulls out the last mo cuz he doesn’t want to get her pregnant till she’s ok with it. The two live together and have a baby boy.

Elick Anderson

Colette’s butler.  Kudos to him for being able tolerate Colette’s brattiness in such a mature calm manner – just how does the guy do it?  A nice man who knows proper etiquette, is polite and is at Colette’s beck and call but at the same time, knows not to overly spoil her and doesn’t hesitate to slap some sense into the bitch.  His story starts 3 months before the bachelor guys show up.

Right at the start of Elick’s path, Colette throws an epileptic fit and screams about how everyone treats her like a kid (the fuck stop acting like one then).  She then sees Elick kissing her teacher on the cheek which pisses her off even more and she bitches at Elick and orders him to kiss her.  THANK FUCK Elick refuses to take this shit from her and slaps Colette before hugging her, tells her to stop acting like a brat and then kisses her forehead, the last of which she totally did not deserve.

She runs off to the garden shed to brood over how suck her life is and a storm brews up and she’s stuck.  Elick comes to get her and he ends up tellin her about himself.  Summin about the rainbow clover, which is actually a jewel and shit happens and somehow through the jewel, his family garners a hellotta debt and to clear it, Elick is to serve Colette till she gets outta ere.  Colette then confesses before Elick can stop her, and unable to hold himself back, Elick says he loff her big time too but still rejects her cuz he can’t have her no matter what.

Next night he shows up in her room to tell er that he can’t be with her anymore in 2 months time cuz she’s gonna have to get hitched with one of the bachelors and bs like dat but blablabla, “love u anyway” and  they have happy sex.  Whoops.

Fastforward 2 months to the days the other guys show up.  Colette’s resigned to marryin one of the guys but Elick grabs her and the two fake their deaths with the help of the mansion workers.  Yeah the two hop onto a boat to get outta the country or summin and so happy togetheeeeeerrrrr.

Orlando Bloom Wray

High ranking army officer.  Uh… the oyaji type.   Very relaxed, always has that friendly uncle grin on his face, straightforward with his feelings and likes messing around with Colette like lifting her up and twirling her around in his the air just for kicks lol.

Colette’s actually pretty cute in his path instead of being a pissy bitch.  Orlando acts more like her dad or older bro than anything for the first part like picking her up like a kid so she’d be closer to the stars and gives her a little dagger for a present.  However, Bradley suspects Orlando cuz the he’s carrying weapons around and Colette’s told to not trust Orlando and watch her back, like literally (for the clover thing).

Colette gets scared but goes to Orlando anyway, who says there’s nutin on her back before Colette asks whether she can sleep with him (JUST SLEEPING).  Orlando’s too gentlemanly for that and says he’ll just sit on the ground next to her bed and hold her hand for the night and that though he wants to screw her, he loves her too much for that and instead, wants to protect her.

Night after, Orlando stays by Colette again but they make der sweet love after Colette says she wants Orlando – rofl for me when she starts groping Orlando’s man boobies and asking whether he can “feel it” either XDD

However, happy moment is totally ruined when Orlando stops halfway cuz he spots the clover on Colette’s back.  Then he gets a guilt attack and confesses that he’s actually an assassin sent by Lydia to kill er but now he can’t anymore cuz he loves her so he’s sorry for lying to her.  Colette forgives him and the 2 sleep.

Orlando takes Colette to Lydia where everyone starts going “huh twin sis?”. Orlando sez he can’t kill Colette cuz Colette doesn’t fit the target specified – kill the girl who looks exactly like Lydia.  He means this in the sense that though the two have the same face, the auras they off are completely different thus ultimately, they are not the same.  Everyone in court agrees so that’s that.

The two go back to the mansion and have some more sexy time.  A week or so later, Colette brings Orlando to the gardens to tell him that she’s preggers.  Insert a d’aaw “OMG I’M GONNA BE A DAD” scene with Orlando as he hugs Colette and tells her he’s gonna take care of the two of them and become a great dad.  The end >w<

Azel Lipson

The youngest bachelor.  He seems to be an innocent, cheeky little brother type but takes joy in fucking around with Colette cuz he likes seeing her pissed off “just for fun”.  Unlike the other guys who all make some kinda attempt to court Colette, Azel’s pretty woteva about it.

Having gotten off on the wrong foot, Colette’s pretty annoyed with Azel from the beginning on.  However, she can’t stayed pissed cuz Azel’s way too smiley and lalala about everything so she keeps finding herself swept up in his fun and games and eventually falls for him

Colette figures it’s prolly a one sided thing and when she tells her teacher Claire, Claire’s all “WTF WHY U PICK AZEL” but they get attacked by Orlando and Claire whips out an umbrella sword and whoops some ass.  Orlando owns her though and they get saved by Elick and Azel – turns out Azel’s a bodyguard of Colette.

They reveal this to everyone else and that Azel’s to leave after they’ve gotten rid of the hidden assassin guy (Orlando in this route) cuz he’s done his job.  Colette flips and says she ain’t gonna accept this but Azel finds her and after apologising for lying to her, he wishes her the best of luck and says he wants the part smilin.  Colette agrees but starts crying which leads to Azel hugging her and confessing that he likes her big time too before the two have sex.

Azel then yaks a lil about how he was part of like mafia or summin in the past which is why he has a polar bear tattoo on him XDXD  He and his lil sis got taken outta their orphanage, got into the mafia but they got caught and he was given the chance to redeem himself by becoming a bodyguard/spy.  His lil sis became the same thing and is actually Colette’s teacher, Claire.

Next day, the two are told that they’re getting a week more to spend with each other before Azel’s gotta go.  Both are pretty torn up about leaving each other but u kno life sucks, no biggie.  As a farewell Azel holds a fake wedding ceremony for him and Colette and he then leaves.

Colette’s left to pick out another hubby but then Azel hops back just for a bit to tell her to wait for him before he leaves again.  After i dunno how long, Colette’s out on the balcony checking out the stars and *poof* out pops Azel cuz he’s come to get her after he’s burnt off his polar bear tattoo so nao they can’t prove he mafia XDXD

So then the two smex each other up out on the balcony.  Everyone in the mansions like “NONONONONO NO GO WITH HIM” but with their POWA OF LOVE, they tell everyone to bugger off and Azel runs off with Colette.  They then end up living in some hobo village doing hobo jobs or summin.

Bradley Armand

The most suspicious one from the beginning – everyone suspects him and it totally doesn’t help that he’s the one who gave Colette the forbidden clover and that he keeps walking into the other bachelors’ rooms, claiming that he’s directionally challenged and can’t tell left from right.  He’s a gentleman guy.

I din’t really care and i just rushed through his route so yeah.  Cuz Colette’s pretty dumb, she doesn’t really pay heed to everyone going “SUSPICIOUS BRADLEY” despite getting attacked several times when hanging with the guy.  Yeah she falls in love with the guy and the two have happy sex etc.

why he get the pwetty cg?

Still, the guy snoops around and disappears for varying periods of time, sayin that he’s “got shit to do”.  Colette finally finds her lost marbles and straight up asks wot der hell is up with Brad and he says he is the assassin but loves her anyway but feels he don’t got the right to.  Colette’s alrite with it so more sex.

But then Bradley goes and says that he AIN’T the assassin and thus he has no right to be here with her (huh wot?).  Orlando leaves that day, requesting to see Colette once more but Bradley shows up with the master key that he nicked from Orlando, revealing that he aint really Bradley Armand – he’s the guy’s butler, Yuri Kazuki summin, and he’s come to avenge Bradley Armand’s death.  Orland sez he killed real Bradley cuz he was a rebel and planning to wage war against the country.  Brad then whips out a gun to smush in Orlando’s brains but Colette stops him and Orlando leaves.

That night, Brad says that’s why he had this “love you but can’t” shit – he came here simply to castrate Orlando and so she deserves better than a lowly jap butler and he’ll be getting outta her hair now so buh bye.

Blablablabla Colette still doesn’t give and after some more mushy stuff, the two get married, go back to Kazuki’s home country jp and look at sakura together.  Hands down the best ending cg outta all the characters AND HE SHOULD NEVER HAVE HAD THAT STUPID PONYTAIL IN THE FIRST PLACE :@:@:@

Afterthoughts and Conclusion

Eh…the game was alright *shrugs*

Really, the characters were all kinda the usual kinds one gets in otome games – prince guy, shota, oyaji, mr polite and emo fag.  Oh and let’s not forget stupid heroine.  I only really liked Orlando and Azel.  Colette I didn’t like cuz she was pretty stupid and whiny but least she was accepting and was pretty funny with how she totally didn’t get it when the guys were trying to hit on her.  AND WTF PHIL.  just WOT.DER.FACK.

Music was ok.  I don’t think I knew anyone in the cast, either they’re all newbies or using aliases and really, I don’t care.  Colette’s sexy sounds were kinda o.O;; cuz goddamn her voice is shrill and it sounded like pain screaming most of the time.

Same artist as with Ijiwaru and UTM but diff style, is what I’ve read and the style used here was alright.  I prefer the art in UTM and Ijiwaru but it ain’t bad.  Orlando for fave chara design and Brad too, after he cuts his hair and looks jap.

Hurgh the story.  Didn’t like it.  I’m not too fond of “pick yo bachelor” stuff cuz it showcases the guys as gold diggers out for Colette’s mula.  And the clover thing just gave Colette an extremely half assed reason to whine and bitch about how her life sucks (when did she start caring about where she came from and shiet eh? she spend like 2 decades NOT giving a shit about herself =.=”).  Oh and WAY TOO MANY ENDINGS – 6 for each guy n and i onli played the main routes.  There was also 6 more that were centered on the assassin sent but really?  Hell no i’m not playing em.

Yeah so the game was okay.  Uh marks for TRYING to have a plot, marks off for Colette’s crying and shit, more marks off for giant wanker Phil, marks for Orlando and Azel and the art.  So an okay game but there was nothing that made me squee and I still didn’t really like it *shrugs again*

11 Responses to “Otome Game Review – Riddle Garden”

  1. hairband Says:

    I LOL AT PHIL because every time you get such a squicky character in an otome game there’s no choice to do that. Ugh I hate it. I HATE IT WHY DO YOU PUT RAPISTS IN THESE GAMES YOU STUPID WRITERS/COMPANIES!!!

    Well ok once I stumbled on this blog where the writer was spazzing about HOW AWESOME IT WAS WHEN THE GUY PUSHED THE GIRL DOWN AND FORCED HIS UP HERS.

    But that was only ONCE.

    So why always write stuff like this for such a niche market? WHY NOT MAKE THE CHARS MOE FOR THE OTHER 99.99999999% OF US????

    Anyway. I’m never touching this because UtM has left me scarred. Nevertheless it’s nice to be reading this summary and imagining that the characters are better than they actually are.

    • domshiki Says:

      YEAH FUCK PHIL WTF EMO FAG BABY MAKING RAPIST DO NOT WANT :@:@:@:@
      lol for me, it really depends on HOW the rape is executed, wot the chara is like and why he’s doing it XD
      wtf fuck. wtf.

  2. Happy!! Says:

    I really hate the fact that most shojo girls are either annoying, weak, or both?
    And are there any Otome game that has the heroine beats the SHIT out of her rapist?

    • Happy!! Says:

      Typo. The last sentence is suppose to be a period. FAIL

    • domshiki Says:

      And are there any Otome game that has the heroine beats the SHIT out of her rapist? <– HAHAHAH WTF god i loled so bad at this man XD do want a heroine who beats the shit outta the rapist, that'd be fucking hilarious. companies should give this one a try.

  3. Koori Says:

    After reading this, no wonder I couldn’t even get through the games demo without getting bored and annoyed by Colette. Atleast there’s always QuinRose games that have fun heroines…

    Though fun fact – Phil’s VA is actually the same as LD1’s Gian Carlo. From what I remember, quite a few of them are just known ones using aliases.

    • domshiki Says:

      FUCKFAG PHIL = AWESOME GIAN?!?! oh god ur kidding me. oh god no. OH GOD TELL ME IT’S ALL A LIE!!!

      • Koori Says:

        Heh, sadly…no. It’s not that hard to recognize the guy (Suzuki Tatsuhisa) if you’ve heard him in other roles where he’d use the deeper tone, even if he used a different alias to the one in LD1. Blame the ones who created RG I guess…?

        Then again, It’s hard to find a character that would be any bit as good as what Yura and co did with Gian and the others, more so with the stuff that would also happen in the sidestories and Drama CD’s of LD1 aswell. And then there’s the twist for the upcoming sort-of fandisc/upgrade Bad Egg…

      • domshiki Says:

        FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK *rage rage rage stabs phil*

        too true, gian is flippin awesome (lol the drama cds made me lmfao with bernado’s “rape the boss” sex XD) and i can’t wait for bad egg >w<

  4. nyanta Says:

    arigatou for making a review of this one, at least I know a little bit more of the story, ha ha ha, but I think the story is not a strong point here.
    I really liked Orlando too, when I heard his voice I thought in Kakashi sensei ha ha ha, probably Im wrong but I liked him, specially.
    oh and yeah the game is long, even has a special sec. where at the end of finishing every route of a boy, you get a love letter from him or something.
    that was kinda cute.

  5. I realize you wrote this quite some time ago lol but lol the cast is awesome (just went over to the site to hear the characters samples lo)
    so far i could recognize takahashi hiroki, kondou takashi, sugita tomokazu, suzuki tatsuhisa and ookawa baba. XD man, if only playing pc games wasn’t such a hassle..

    xxx thanks for all your reviews actually, your writing style always crakcs me up so much i dont even have to play the game to be entertained lol. i just read your reviews XDDD

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