BL Game Review – Nessa no Rakuen


Alternative Titles: 熱砂ノ楽園

Company: VividColor

Release Date: 27.08.10

Official Site: http://www.vividcolor.jp/

vc/nessa/nessa_01.htm

Platform: PC

Genre: 18+ BL, romance, smut, arabian

Plot Summary: My lord wot is with japan and making Arabians kidnapping horny rapists???  I dunno how many times I’ve encountered this in BL: Nice white/japanese uke hops over to <insert middle eastern country>, shit happens and the uke finds himself now the favourite hoe of the royal family.  Lol that aside, this is essentially that really.  Will goes to this arabic country to find out about this rumored magical philosopher stone herb that’s hidden with the monarchs and he somehow ends up being the royal dudes’ hoe.  Instead of getting the fuck out, Will decides this’ll be a gr8 opportunity to check out this herb (Pashaf) so he stays a hoe.  Great XD

Ashraf

Fucking bag of mouldy cocks.  The first prince of this Arabian country BALLZ (cuz i wasn’t bothered to rmb the name).  A giant floozy, he’s the REALLY annoying playboy type, running around sexing people up and then tossin em aside cuz they weren’t “cool enough a toy” for him and then havin the nerve to go all “I PRINCE I DO WOTEVA ;D” on em.  Takes pleasure in tormenting his poor servant, Karim, summin that kinda gets explained later on but not justified.  Sound bad already?  Well guess fuck wot, that’s just the start.  This isn’t wot made me hate him, oh hell no he gets WORSE.  Thankfully though, he was alright in his own route, it was in Karim’s route that he started getting mould on his dong so fuck him.

Prior to becoming anyone’s bitch, Will was just sent to country BALLZ to look up on Pashaf so he asks around and finds out that it’s rumoured to be some god plant, hidden away with the monarchs.  He asks some ppl for directions but cuz Will is damn pretty, they try to sell him off as a man prostitute and give him some fruit.  ‘Course, Will ain’t stupid (YET) so he figures shit out and runs for his life where he gets helped by Ashraf and his servant, Karim and then goes his own way.

Will gets chased by those guys again and this time, he runs off all the way into the desert and he thinks he’s screwed but out pops this masked sinbad who saves his ass and take Will to his hideout.  Will rmbs the rumours he heard abt some arabian Zoro in this country and thinks “YES HE SAVE ME” but life sucks and he gets drugged.

Now we get to the hoe part.  WIll wakes up in the royal harem chambers, dressed in ‘clothes’ of breathtaking scantiness and sees Ashraf, Karim and the 2nd prince Hakim.  Turns out a certain *somebody* brought him here and seeing as Will is gorgeous, without a passport and pretty much unable to fight back, the two princes decide to make him their hoe.  Will obviously ain’t happy with this dumb shit but figures he could find summin out so that’s that.

Whee hoorayz.  Immediate sex scene right after.  Will suddenly finds himself feeling extremely horny so Ashraf decides to sex the guy up despite the latter’s protests.

The next day, Will meets some guy called Saido in the place who promises he’ll get him out if Will finds out about Pashaf.  From then on, Ashraf pops around regularly to take Will out, to check out the stars and stuff which pisses his servant, Karim, off a hell lot cuz u ain’t supposed to take your hoes outta the harem but we all know Ashraf is deliberately doing this to irritate Karim.

Ashraf comes around later on, lookin all drunk and gives Will some fruit to eat.  Will vaguely rmbs having eaten the fruit somewhere but before he can work shit out, the prince sez that he’s gonna tell him about Pashaf  – “If you finger your own ass ;D”.  Lmfao wen Karim walks in on Will touching himself and Will starts throwin a fit at Ashraf cuz the guy told Karim to come in and watch Will like he’s some free porn show.  Really, Will should hav been given the death penalty for snappin at royalty but Ashraf’s impressed with his guts and apologises, telling Will not to hate him (THEN DON’T MAKE HIM INTO A FUCKING FREE PORN SHOW U DUMB SHIT).  Sexy time right after where Ashraf realises that he’s falling in love with Will.

Keepin his promise, Ashraf tells Will abt wot Pashaf is:  a fruit with two uses, the matured fruit grants the consumer immortality, the unripened fruit is used as an aphrodisiac in the harem.  It’s only with the royalty and Karim’s always been the caretaker of the plants.  Will asks Karim about Pashaf the next day and realises that Ashraf’s been leaving shit out cuz it turns out that the unripened fruit is fucking poisonous and though it gives one mindblowingly hot sex, it shortens their lifespan and despite that, Ashraf’s been stuffing himself silly with the stuff for ages.

Ashraf reveals that he’s eatin the shit cuz he wants to die.  He’s royalty so he can’t just commit a blatantly obvious suicide so Pashaf works but he avoids the reason by making out with Will.  Zaido tries to get some info about Pashaf outta Will who’s torn between going home and betraying Ashraf and when Will refuses, he tries to rape him but Ashraf comes to the rescue and dumps Zaido into the dungeons.  Before goin though, Zaido lets slip that Will’s just ere to steal the secret of Pashaf himself and Will finds himself unable to deny that.

Pissed, Ashraf drags Will to his room in a jealous  possessive fit, not getting why he’s so fucking pissed when he saw Zaido try to rape Will and proceeds onto raping Will HIMSELF.  He apologises later on and Will ain’t pissed so he goes on to tell him abt his mum etc:

1. Ashraf’s dad fell in love with Ashraf’s commoner mother but he’s already married to the second prince, Hakim’s mom

2. Ur allowed to have multiple wives as long as u love em all equally (like wtf?) so his dad took Ashraf’s mom as his second wife and obviously loved her more.

3.Ashraf’s mom hated that he still had a harem and thinking that he didn’t love her anymore especially after he also made baby Hakim with the first wife, she cheated on him.

4. Ashraf don’t get wots going on and tells his dad that “Mummy’s playing with other men”

5. His dad goes berserker mode and kills both Ashraf’s mom and the man she was cheating on him with.

6.  Ashraf’s been hatin his dad for ages but has come to realise that his dad was so pissed not only cuz his mom was cheating, also cuz now there’s no way to confirm whether Ashraf is his son or not cuz the man his mom was sleeping with has been around since she became his dad’s wife (...ever heard of a fucking DNA check people?)

7.  Cuz of that, Hakim’s made the heir and Ashraf’s a giant bag of whiny wangst.

8.  Oh and the man who his mother cheated with was apparently Karim’s dad.  Their family has been tasked with watching over Pashaf for ages but the king was pissed and killed everyone – cept for Karim.  Karim listens to woteva Ashraf sez cuz he feels the guilt from his father’s sin and believes that it’s kinda his fault.  Will sez he won’t ever leave Ashraf so chill man, and they go to sleep.

Happy time ruined Zaido suddenly jumps em and Will takes a stab for Ashraf.  Before blacking out, Will confesses that he protected Ashraf cuz he loves the guy and thanks him for everything (…for imprisoning you in country BALLZ and for raping you?).

Course Will doesn’t die and he wakes up with our stupid annoying twat Ashraf by his side.  Ashraf confesses his love for Will etc and he decides to ditch his royal responsibilities and run away together with Will.  The end.

Hakim

Second prince of country BALLZ.  I kinda liked him at first you know cuz he was the oresama type, big arrogant prick but oh so smexy and acts like a big overgrown kid sometimes so that was cute.  BUT THEN I PLAYED KARIM’S ROUTE AND WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK WAS THAT SHIT. Goddamn.  Way to go ruin a character yo.  Nonetheless he was cute most of the time.


…i thought Ashraf was being pushy the first time with Will.  But then I saw wot Hakim did =.=”  Normally, rape in BL is hot in my books but yo man wtf, Hakim was just like “GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND SUCK MY COCK BITCH” and then after sniggering at how bad Will is at licking dick (Will: WELL EXCUSE ME FOR NOT BEING HOMO), he pushes Will down and jams his giant brown wang into our poor uke’s ass.  No foreplay no nutin. Just ‘up the chute it goes ~’.  But similarly in Ashraf’s route, Will has a sudden mysterious horny attack so he started liking it after the initial “AAAAAAARGH MY ASS MY FUCKING ASS GET YOUR MEATSTICK OUTTA MY FUCKING ASS ALLAHLAHLAHLAHLAHLAHLAH!!!!!

Oh poor poor Will.  And his poor poor ass.  The next day, Will wakes up feelin btr and Hakim comes in to take him out.  Will’s feeling pretty contemptuous towards Hakim for raping him senseless the night before but finds that he can’t stay mad at the guy cuz he’s all smiley and happily showin Will around the royal gardens and the two end up chattin all day long like old friends.

The two become bff and since then, Hakim hasn’t tried anything funny with Will (who appreciates that cuz DAMN the first time hurt like a bitch).  One night, Arabian Zoro shows up to grab Will who’s fucking pissed off at the guy cuz he thinks AZ sold him to be a royal whore.  Seein that Will ain’t in the mood to listen, AZ grabs Will and takes him to his hideout.  AZ tells him that he was trying to help him by <insert really retarded round about explanation that just made me go “lolwot”> so bottom line is, he ain’t no bad guy.  Whoops, wot great timing, Will suddenly gets another flux of raging teenage hormones and unconsciously calls out Hakim’s name.  Here, AZ takes off his mask and it turns out he’s *GASP* NOWAY HE’S HAKIM!!! lol, we have a sexy scene ere with the two before Hakim brings Will back.

The followin day, Hakim tells Will that he’s gonna let him go home soon cuz it’s cruel to keep him here against his will (no shit sherlock how long did that take you).  Will’s overjoyed but finds himself wanting to cry at the same time cuz he doesn’t want to be away from Hakim.  The feeling’s mutual so the two have some more happy sex.

Shit happens wen Hakim finds out from Zaido about Will being a spy and he tells him to GTFO but blablabla oh god im getting tired of this game yeah all turns out well and they make up, end up together etc.

Karim

BOOYAH IT’S HATANO WATARU >w<  Cuz of that, he’s the one I was most interested in and personality wise, he’s stoic, laconic and pretty expressionless most of the time but finds himself warming up to Will later on (so ma type lol).  As I said earlier, he’s Ashraf’s servant and the bastard takes joy in fucking around with Karim and making his life miserable “just cuz I can” so aside from being completely adorable when he goes dere, Karim’s also kinda the woobie of the game cuz no matter wot, he can’t fight back and has to take all of Ashraf’s shit.  Fucking Ashraf.  AND HAKIM TOO.
Karim’s blessed with the oh so lovely task of cleaning Will up after every time he gets raped so to Will, Karim’s kinda like the one sane guy he can kinda trust around the place cuz he knows Karim won’t suddenly jump him and rape him.  Karim on the other hand, just finds Will to be an odd hoe he’s assigned to take care of and tells Will that “It’s my job” every time Will thanks the guy for uh licking his ass clean lolololol.  Through these ass cleaning sessions, these two start going somewot bff.


AND THEN WE GET TO THE DICKWEED PRINCES.  My GOD i thought they were being rapists in their paths, in this, they are just fuck TERRIBLE.
  Will‘s horny all the time in this route (you’ll see why he is 24/7 later on) and keeps getting forced into nonstop 3somes by the princes who are bitch rough and jackhammer him like there’s no tomorrow.  Even Karim’s like o.O;; “…the fuck they been doing to you” n Will tells him about London and everywhere outside of country BALLZ, seeing as Karim has been imprisoned here his whole life.
Happy time is cut short when the two shithead princes show up the next day wanting to fuck Will again but Ashraf then gets this WONDERFUL idea and goes “Hey, wouldn’t it be REALLY FUNNY if we made KARIM FUCK WILL?? ;D” and Karim tries to protest cuz WILL’S ASS CAN’T FUCKING TAKE IT but knowing that Karim’s prolly gonna get killed for speakin back to royalty, Will just tells him to do it and somehow it ends in some sandwich sex with Ashraf as well.  Damn it felt weird when Karim was SO NICE to Will during their pr0n scene, like the guy was holdin back, askin whether it hurt 24/7 and tellin our uke that he’s gonna be gentle  – guess I was too used to seeing Ashraf and Hakim’s rough sex shit
The princes leave after that and both Will and Karim are left in the room, asses filled with jizz.  Karim’s piss worried about Will but the latter’s just mesmerised by the guy’s naked form and starts ogling and shiet – I can totally understand cuz DAMN Karim is FIIIIIIIINE ;D Karim turns cold again, sorry that he had to do the shit to Will but Will sez it’s alright so all’s good and Karim comes to visit the next day again.

Wrong move there though CUZ DEM PRINCES ARE BACK and ASSraf has an even better idea this time: “Will, YOU fuck Karim this time”.  Yo like WTF???  I should say b4 going on, that i’m really not too fond of reverse couples in BL but Karim was hot so I let it slide lol – the guy was fucking crying from humiliation and pleasure and oh yeah, he was voiced by Hatano Wataru XD  I’m a biased lil sadistic shit I know BUT HEY IM PLAYING A GAME THAT INVOLVES 2D MEN TAKING IT UP THE ASS so I think that’s a given 
To rain some more hell on Karim, ASSraf then proceeds onto telling Will abt the lil greenhouse ere where Pashraf is grown and cultivated.  Karim has not choice but to spill the shit and Will realises why he’s so horny all the time, cuz he’s been fed the sex drug fruit 24/7.  Will suggests that Pashaf be revealed to the rest of the world cuz it can have gr8 medical advancements etc but Karim sez fuck no cuz it’ll cause a war and ere, it finally gets through Will’s thick skull that he’s in love with Karim and he tells our lil woobie that he’s gonna stay by his side through all of Assraf’s shit.  Karim’s fuck touched cuz everyone treats him like shit and Will’s the only person who’s ever cared about him and cue in a thank you glomp from the guy.
Next day, Karim takes Will to the greenhouse and after givin him the ripened fruit to cure his horniness, the two make out, confess but Karim then sez that he’s negotiating bs to free Will from ere. Blablabla Will tells the guy to STFU cuz he aint goin anywhere without Karim and this turns Karim on so insert mad sex in the greenhouse lol.
Zaido then atks both Karim and Will and dumps em in some cellar till they spit out the whereabouts of Pashaf.  Will’s identity as a spy is revealed but no matter cuz no one gives a shit and in pop in the guards to rape Zaido and alls good.
Will proclaims that he want to destroy Pashaf cuz its shittifying Karim’s life and then he invites him to live in England with him.  Hakim shows up, he\s become the king or summin and decides tht he wants to nuke Pashaf as well so “You’re free to go Karim.”  And so, the two leave the place and live happily ever after in England.

Ashraf x Karim End

Ah jeebuz and to think that was the end of Assraf =.=”  *sigh* should have seen this one coming though, in Karim’s path, Will kept commenting non stop on how Assraf seems to always only have his eyes on Karim and wonders whether it’s because that’s Assraf’s sick way of showing his love.  ANYWAY…on we go.

So Will  thinks that Karim is in love with Assraf (Oh god Karim you must be a fucking huge M to like a douche like Assraf ==) and vice versa.  Karim’s just like “…OKAY…” and thus Will plans to gget the two hitched.



Assraf comes to fuck Will, Will rambles on about :feelings” wotnot till Assraf bursts out that Karim is special to him and no one can have him.  Karim has been eavesdropping, Will is 1247392479238% convinced the two are gay for each other so he sends Karim out to Assraf.  There, Assraf tells Karim that no matter wot, he’s not letting him go cuz he belongs to him and then asks Karim abt how he feels.  More mushy shit, confession and sexy time the end with Will stayin and doin Pashaf shit.

Afterthoughts and Conclusion

“Um…wtf was this shit” effectively sums up my feelings for this game.

In the end, I hated all the characters cept for Karim.  I thought Will wud be relatively intelligent but he was fucking retarded, way too forgiving and falls in love wth ppl for no fucking reason.  Hakim I initially liked but in Karim’s route he was a complete dickfuck (no, one act of kindness does not redeem you) with all the crazy ass porn shows. …and the worst of the bunch…fucking ASSRAF.  WTFUCKING FUCK IS HE PLAYING AT.  Just srsly man, wtf.  I am at a loss for words, i don’t think anything I say can convey the amount of disgust I hold for him, though at the same time, I guess I’m bein a biased shit again cuz I’m just inclined to be prejudiced towards types like him – his kind of character usually serves only to piss me off for some reason.  Despite the insufferable cast, there was Karim, the saving grace and I must say, I really liked him.  He was flippin adorable, the way he tries to act all professional and cool but then that ice bitch facade of his starts to crumble when Will trots in and he starts getting all awkward 不器用, blushing his tight ass off all the time.  Ah Karim.

No fucking clue about the music cuz i spent most of the game raging at Assraf and forcing myself to finish it.  Which means it wans’t super shit or godly cuz I don’t rmb it.  Some Kaji Yuuki guy or however you spell his name voiced Will and I’ve nvr heard of him b4 but god I hated his sex sounds, it was just a whole lot of senseless screaming.  Assraf pissed me off every time he opened that shit filled mouth of his, Hakim was aite cuz I like Maeno Tomoaki and lol KARIM FTW cuz u kno, Hatano.

Eh though most everyone irked me, I can’t deny that the art is brill.  Like SHIET MAN it was one of the main reasons to why I played this and i wasn’t disappointed – it was consistent throughout, everyone was damn fine srsly.  Course ma fave was Karim – summin abt his silvery blue hair + dark skin + o face = WIN.

Ok the plot.  In short, fucking RUBBISH.  Unoriginal, boring just wtf.  Just an excuse for shitloads of unnecessary smut.  Normally that wudnt be a cause for me to complain but like most ppl, i like HOT SEX and Will’s seiyuu just made me go “STFU CRACKER” and hit the skip button =.=”

TL;DR Total rubbish game: shit plot, shit characters, boring music.  Karim alone isn’t enough to make it a good game and neither is the art.  Completely mediocre, only play it for Karim and for the pretty art and even then the game is infuriating cuz you’ll have to sit through Assraf and Hakim’s rape.  Just…wtf.  I need to go wash out my eyes and ears of this complete shit.

49 Responses to “BL Game Review – Nessa no Rakuen”

  1. … This is the first time I actually thought you were stupid. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? Look, bl is … Inappropriate (?) but at least use images that aren’t that… Bad. Sigh, hope you (and readers) don’t mind but can you remove those pics plz? Don’t want site to get blocked for having porn or something,

    • domshiki Says:

      lol if ur worryin abt being too porny or summin, chill check out eroge blogs and u’ll see, aint gettin shut down or nutin. but haha yeah k im good, i uh “modified em”- that good? XDXD

      • sigh, forget it.
        …. you never fail to surprise me really.

      • amysteriousgal Says:

        Thank you for showcasing your wonderful censorship skills. Seriously, your digital editing ability is so brilliant that I can’t possibly tell that you doodled a mustache on him.

        Also, you two can stop trying to communicate on this subject. It’s clear that you’re either on entirely different pages, utterly separate wavelengths, or mutually distinct channels.

  2. Kari Says:

    I think that I had, like, ten times more fun reading your review than I would if I played this game actually. Also, WTF?! There was no plot whatsoever, and Wil is so stupid -_-‘

    • domshiki Says:

      u’d have more fun reading the bible (new testament and old) than playin this crap i swear.

  3. (*・_・)/⌒* Says:

    I have no idea wtf u on about but rofl dude.

    …I don’t get it what’s wrong with the images?

    • domshiki Says:

      lmao most of the posts have me as though im fucking high on weed or summin XD

      HAHAH compare ur reaction to momo’s man, we’re into gay porn so lol there’s nutin wrong to us XDXD

  4. ^^ i like the uke (new thing im into is… lil boys…did i mention my step-bro is a v. cute 3 yr old?) ^^
    and ignore our innocent girl up there, ur pics r just fine ^^
    more than fine actually, lovely, hawt and awesum. gimme more of those in ur other bl game blogs
    it might just b me but i hav a problem with guys in Arabian clothing =.=… ah well. just me.
    wht a wonderfully crappy plot. =.= they could hav at least made an attempt to make it more interesting…. by….. i dunno how the heck u can make this plot btr….. ah screw this. but yeh, pretty pics wont make a game gd =.=

  5. merly Says:

    i haven’t played this game yet but Yuuki Kaji’s voice is awesome! I guess he is just inexperienced at making those ‘sounds’ since he is relatively new to the seiyuu industry xD

    seriously, props to your BL game reviews – they just crack me up lol!

    Once i played some BL game where the notebook grants wishes or something, and the next thing i know is the characters have sex. I sure went wtfbbq that time..

    I really wish there are more BL games like Gakuen Heaven(if only Starry Sky is BL…) or Laughter Land. It sort of irks me how literally all the BL games are just ‘finding an excuse to have sex’ plot. Although i must say i can’t resist the urge to play such games since the plot is so ridiculously funny, and i get to hear my fav voice actor too xD

    • … There’s a plot in gakuen heaven?

      • merly Says:

        hmm i’m not sure how to explain it(pure and innocent perhaps?)…but theres a reason why they keep releasing its franchise, and 7 years already! I can’t think of another BL game that is similar to it, hence the Starry Sky comment xD

        As for Laughter Land, it has the most mindfuck plot ever, and personally feel that it has the best plot and storyline of all BL games.

        Both those games really shine out their own way in the BL genre since literally all BL games are like the one in this review…

        happy new year! :D

  6. Happy!! Says:

    LOL. Love that mustache. Makes Will more manly. You should put body hair on the next uke.
    I thought Yuuki Kaji was a girl when I heard his voice in FFXIII as Hope, but I found out there’s a possibility he might be the next Crypton Vocaloid, which has been confirmed (I think) to be male, that’s when I realized he was a guy and I saw his picture and he looks like an uke.
    And the opening was sung by Dasoku (his voice is so damn sexy) and I did see Kushi’s (under composer I think), name in there…such a coincidence, really.

  7. I shit you not, your review here made me goddamn nearly bust a nut from laughing. Aww shit…

    Seriously though, really appreciate the review here, I’ve been pretty curious about this game after stumbling upon one or two of its CG screenshots a couple of months ago and not knowing what the batshit was going on since my moonspeak/ruin is quite literally next to nothing.

    Glad to know I’m not missing out on a whole lot though, XD.

    • domshiki Says:

      yeah u aint missing out on anything cept for a lotta random rapey sex scenes and cocksucker assraf lol XD

  8. hairband Says:

    I’d advise you also blacken out that pic where Karim lies naked w/ jizz coming out his butt for the sake of underage viewers.

    That aside, this game is lol. In that wow-i’m-so-pissed-off-wth-did-i-just-play kind of way. Like Under the Moon! =DD

    • Holyshizitsapikachu Says:

      Erm, just sayin’, but if any “innocent underaged viewer” was on here, at the first few sentences they would’ve GTFO’d. Besides, I think Karim’s ass is sexay!! *nosebleeds*

      • domshiki Says:

        that’s the whole point – what’s an “innocent under-aged viewer” doing reading gay porn posts on my blog anyway? ;)
        YES KARIM IS HOT <3

  9. God I laughed so hard when reading this! The mustache on Will is just brilliant! XD

    I played the game when it was released and I can tell you I had the exact same reaction. Ashraf disgusted me and I held shift to speed through everything because he was just sick and his voice was nasty.

    I liked Harim in his route but (just like you) after playing Karim I hated him as much as Ashraf. They got some serious problems.

    The game is just….wtf…but the art is amazing. And Hatano Wataru <3

    • domshiki Says:

      haha glad some appreciate the moustache – got bored while blackening out the sexy scenes so i hastily scrawled a mustache on will for kicks lol XD

      THHANK GOD it aint just me hu thinks assraf = FUUUUUUUUCK :@:@:@:@ srsly, way to go waste good art man T.T

  10. ヾ;(;(;*;゚;ω;゚;);););ノ゙アーッヒャッヒャッヒャッヒャァー
    lmfao I laughed so hard tears came out X’DDD
    (and that was just reading the first paragraph)
    Oh my this is why I don’t play BL games. ALthough lolis getting trapped in castles in otome games I guess aren’t anything better :lol:

  11. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by jpmeyer and キセキ. キセキ said: RT @babynuko: Oh my god I'm laughing so hard tears are coming out (BL warning) https://sandeian.wordpress.com/2010/12/29/bl-game-review-n … […]

  12. Oh, this game…

    Glad to see I’m not the only who thought it was an awful waste of time by the review.

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  14. Haruhi Says:

    Those are the most beautiful censors I ever seen in my whole life.
    I want to cry a manly tear.
    Already did. And I laughed so hard at this review, even my friend who is not a BL lover (similar to Sandaien) read this, and she too… Laughed like me *giggle snort*
    xD VividColor the company who made SilverChaos are not..Just not good at plot xD or even music too.. Although I would buy that game for the art and.. Smut *shot* lololol as long as the art is good I don’t give a crap for a story *shallow, really shallow* Or even English. Yup, if in English even though it sucks as shiatzu I would still like it xD

  15. Lily Says:

    LOL I just had to say that I loved your entry. It was absolutely hilarious. I also liked how you provided bigger pictures since most of your other entries always used such small pics. Keep writing!

  16. Great review, love it all. your vulgar language is the cherry on top :)

    Question; I’ve been playing this and i cannot seem to trigger the Kalim x Asharaf scene…i’m missing two cgs and its driving me fukkin mad. Do I just need to clear both of their stories or do I need EVERYTHING? (btw i’m using this site for a walkthrough >>http://www.half-a.net/games1/nessa.html)

    Help is appreciated, thanks in advance if you can~ ;)

    Drinia/white-sakuras

  17. Suzu Says:

    Wow i played this game and seriously. I ALWAYS GET BAD END. The heck? what choices do i have to choose in order to have a good ending with all of them? this is so weird. I checked the walkthroughs and did as intructed but BAD END all the way =_= wth mang. I can’t read japanese so the choices i don’t know which one to pic to get good ending. if you don’t mind could you help me? also lol moustache haha great pics *_*

  18. Lenneth Says:

    Hey, how did you get in Karim x Ashraf’s route? I’m trying
    to take this route but is very difficult, I couldn’t find the way I
    love Karim too XD

    • It seems like Karim x Ashraf end is basically an extra one you get when Will just isn’t good enough for him :) The only diff would be the final selection but I’ll post the whole route just in case. Also, you have to finish both Karim and Ashraf’s routes to see it.
      Follow this:

      Karim Route
      『パシャフ』について訊く
      街の中心へ逃げよう
      お礼を言わないと
      言いくるめられている気がする
      私を売り飛ばすためだったのか
      カリムについて聞く
      耐えるんだ…
      忠誠を誓っているから? 
      もう少し話を聞きだしたい
      アシュラフ王子のほうが理解しやすい
      この人らしい考えだ
      素直に従おう
      素直に従おう ※ Select「やはり恥ずかしい」and you get a BADEND with a CG
      カリムさんの傍にいよう
      やっぱり優しい人だ 
      分かりました 
      私がカリムさんを / Select 「そのままの気持ちを」to get the Ashraf x Karim Ending (+ CG) ※This selection only appears after completing their own routes.

      GOODEND

      Hope it helps XD

  19. Lynsum Says:

    “Hakim was just like “GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND SUCK MY COCK BITCH” and then after sniggering at how bad Will is at licking dick (Will: WELL EXCUSE ME FOR NOT BEING HOMO), he pushes Will down and jams his giant brown wang into our poor uke’s ass. No foreplay no nutin. Just ‘up the chute it goes ~’. But similarly in Ashraf’s route, Will has a sudden mysterious horny attack so he started liking it after the initial “AAAAAAARGH MY ASS MY FUCKING ASS GET YOUR MEATSTICK OUTTA MY FUCKING ASS ALLAHLAHLAHLAHLAHLAHLAH!!!!!”

    HAHAHAHAHAHA OMFG LOL I CAN’T BREATHE HAHAHA MY STOMACH IT HURTS XDDD

  20. Adelaide Says:

    Lol, your review is awesome.
    The only thing why people are gonna play this game is because of the bishies. They wouldn’t mind the plot as long as there’s smex XD

  21. Whittley Says:

    I laughed so hard at this. I wish I could, you know, UNDERSTAND WHAT THE GAME WAS SAYING. But yeah, I laughed so hard.

  22. Fate Says:

    Your reviews on BL games are just awesome. At first I read them to get some clues, but this is so much better than actually clicking randomly while playing (coz my Japanese sucks, it made my sensei cry). Play summore and post up. I’ll be sure to make it my only source of reading materials.

  23. Miss Scarlet Says:

    Lmfao this review was the shit! (I want this game!!!) Many things that you hated sounded interesting to me, since I’ve never played it, but this was just hilarious! Loved your colorful description of what wen’t down in the story and I’m totally prepared for the worst (if I’ll ever play it. I kinda hope I will…) I agree with you on the whole scenario. The story sounds rather cliché…
    Anyway awesome review on Nessa No Rakuen X,DDDDD

  24. anon Says:

    the only reason i want to play this game is cause I want to see the uke stick it in someone xD honest confession, Im a terrible human T^T

  25. Izumi Says:

    Lol Will did pretty much sound like he was having a baby every time he had sex. God. I have a freaking headache lol. I did like the art tho, but did you see how Will’s nipples looked? They were up like really high… lol

    • domshiki Says:

      LOOOOOOOOOOOL I NEVER NOTICED BUT NOW THERE’S MORE TO PUT ON THE ”WHY THIS GAME IS UTTER SHIT” LIST

  26. Iprie Says:

    Got this game ‘cuz the art looked damn fine, but after this review, neeeeever mind~ *deleters game*~Thanks for the totally humorus heads up~!! You’re my number one stop for inspecting a game’s worthyness~ //hug// You’ve saved me several times from WTFUCKERY games now!

    • domshiki Says:

      saving otomes everywhere is the purpose of 4shit huehue ;)

      but yeah srsly DON’T PLAY this game. just dl a cg pack or sth but DON’T PLAY IT KAY saying this for ur sake lol

      • Iprie Says:

        Aaaaye cap’n!! //Salutes//
        It’s such a shame the plots are so awful, with such stunning artwork~~ ;v;
        Can you suggest any other games that are worth playing instead? I’ve played the Nitro+CHiRaL games already after reading the reviews you posted here~ x’DD

  27. azure Says:

    Aaaand another game I won’t pick up.
    Hilarious, though. Thoroughly enjoyed this review… Even though I saw kaji’s name there, I won’t be picking this up. I love kaji-kun but his earlier works are terribly mediocre (admittedly I hated him in PrincexPrince….)

    Out of curiosity, who voiced assraf? Oh well, nothing can change my decfision of not playing this anyways.

  28. Hisui Says:

    oh hey hey~~ Yuki Kaji voices Eren from Shingeki no Kyojin and Alibaba from Magi and many more amazing characters in 2012 and 2013 ~

    Well… ability on sex noises aside I think he’s doing his best in voicing BL stuff *sniggers*

    I played the game before~ but but but I guess other than all the fucks here and there the art really deserves some praise.
    I really enjoyed reading your responses by the way hahahaha!!

  29. yumemirunosekai Says:

    MUTHERFUCKING SHET. I fucking blew a gasket laughing. “Nag of mouldy cocks” dis is fucking gold man.

    Awesome review btw.

    tbh I just read your reviews but not the plot rofl

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