BL Game Review – Nessa no Rakuen
Release Date: 27.08.10
Official Site: http://www.vividcolor.jp/
Genre: 18+ BL, romance, smut, arabian
Plot Summary: My lord wot is with japan and making Arabians kidnapping horny rapists??? I dunno how many times I’ve encountered this in BL: Nice white/japanese uke hops over to <insert middle eastern country>, shit happens and the uke finds himself now the favourite hoe of the royal family. Lol that aside, this is essentially that really. Will goes to this arabic country to find out about this rumored magical philosopher stone herb that’s hidden with the monarchs and he somehow ends up being the royal dudes’ hoe. Instead of getting the fuck out, Will decides this’ll be a gr8 opportunity to check out this herb (Pashaf) so he stays a hoe. Great XD
Fucking bag of mouldy cocks. The first prince of this Arabian country BALLZ (cuz i wasn’t bothered to rmb the name). A giant floozy, he’s the REALLY annoying playboy type, running around sexing people up and then tossin em aside cuz they weren’t “cool enough a toy” for him and then havin the nerve to go all “I PRINCE I DO WOTEVA ;D” on em. Takes pleasure in tormenting his poor servant, Karim, summin that kinda gets explained later on but not justified. Sound bad already? Well guess fuck wot, that’s just the start. This isn’t wot made me hate him, oh hell no he gets WORSE. Thankfully though, he was alright in his own route, it was in Karim’s route that he started getting mould on his dong so fuck him.
Prior to becoming anyone’s bitch, Will was just sent to country BALLZ to look up on Pashaf so he asks around and finds out that it’s rumoured to be some god plant, hidden away with the monarchs. He asks some ppl for directions but cuz Will is damn pretty, they try to sell him off as a man prostitute and give him some fruit. ‘Course, Will ain’t stupid (YET) so he figures shit out and runs for his life where he gets helped by Ashraf and his servant, Karim and then goes his own way.
Will gets chased by those guys again and this time, he runs off all the way into the desert and he thinks he’s screwed but out pops this masked sinbad who saves his ass and take Will to his hideout. Will rmbs the rumours he heard abt some arabian Zoro in this country and thinks “YES HE SAVE ME” but life sucks and he gets drugged.
Now we get to the hoe part. WIll wakes up in the royal harem chambers, dressed in ‘clothes’ of breathtaking scantiness and sees Ashraf, Karim and the 2nd prince Hakim. Turns out a certain *somebody* brought him here and seeing as Will is gorgeous, without a passport and pretty much unable to fight back, the two princes decide to make him their hoe. Will obviously ain’t happy with this dumb shit but figures he could find summin out so that’s that.
Whee hoorayz. Immediate sex scene right after. Will suddenly finds himself feeling extremely horny so Ashraf decides to sex the guy up despite the latter’s protests.
The next day, Will meets some guy called Saido in the place who promises he’ll get him out if Will finds out about Pashaf. From then on, Ashraf pops around regularly to take Will out, to check out the stars and stuff which pisses his servant, Karim, off a hell lot cuz u ain’t supposed to take your hoes outta the harem but we all know Ashraf is deliberately doing this to irritate Karim.
Ashraf comes around later on, lookin all drunk and gives Will some fruit to eat. Will vaguely rmbs having eaten the fruit somewhere but before he can work shit out, the prince sez that he’s gonna tell him about Pashaf – “If you finger your own ass ;D”. Lmfao wen Karim walks in on Will touching himself and Will starts throwin a fit at Ashraf cuz the guy told Karim to come in and watch Will like he’s some free porn show. Really, Will should hav been given the death penalty for snappin at royalty but Ashraf’s impressed with his guts and apologises, telling Will not to hate him (THEN DON’T MAKE HIM INTO A FUCKING FREE PORN SHOW U DUMB SHIT). Sexy time right after where Ashraf realises that he’s falling in love with Will.
Keepin his promise, Ashraf tells Will abt wot Pashaf is: a fruit with two uses, the matured fruit grants the consumer immortality, the unripened fruit is used as an aphrodisiac in the harem. It’s only with the royalty and Karim’s always been the caretaker of the plants. Will asks Karim about Pashaf the next day and realises that Ashraf’s been leaving shit out cuz it turns out that the unripened fruit is fucking poisonous and though it gives one mindblowingly hot sex, it shortens their lifespan and despite that, Ashraf’s been stuffing himself silly with the stuff for ages.
Ashraf reveals that he’s eatin the shit cuz he wants to die. He’s royalty so he can’t just commit a blatantly obvious suicide so Pashaf works but he avoids the reason by making out with Will. Zaido tries to get some info about Pashaf outta Will who’s torn between going home and betraying Ashraf and when Will refuses, he tries to rape him but Ashraf comes to the rescue and dumps Zaido into the dungeons. Before goin though, Zaido lets slip that Will’s just ere to steal the secret of Pashaf himself and Will finds himself unable to deny that.
Pissed, Ashraf drags Will to his room in a jealous possessive fit, not getting why he’s so fucking pissed when he saw Zaido try to rape Will and proceeds onto raping Will HIMSELF. He apologises later on and Will ain’t pissed so he goes on to tell him abt his mum etc:
1. Ashraf’s dad fell in love with Ashraf’s commoner mother but he’s already married to the second prince, Hakim’s mom
2. Ur allowed to have multiple wives as long as u love em all equally (like wtf?) so his dad took Ashraf’s mom as his second wife and obviously loved her more.
3.Ashraf’s mom hated that he still had a harem and thinking that he didn’t love her anymore especially after he also made baby Hakim with the first wife, she cheated on him.
4. Ashraf don’t get wots going on and tells his dad that “Mummy’s playing with other men”
5. His dad goes berserker mode and kills both Ashraf’s mom and the man she was cheating on him with.
6. Ashraf’s been hatin his dad for ages but has come to realise that his dad was so pissed not only cuz his mom was cheating, also cuz now there’s no way to confirm whether Ashraf is his son or not cuz the man his mom was sleeping with has been around since she became his dad’s wife (...ever heard of a fucking DNA check people?)
7. Cuz of that, Hakim’s made the heir and Ashraf’s a giant bag of whiny wangst.
8. Oh and the man who his mother cheated with was apparently Karim’s dad. Their family has been tasked with watching over Pashaf for ages but the king was pissed and killed everyone – cept for Karim. Karim listens to woteva Ashraf sez cuz he feels the guilt from his father’s sin and believes that it’s kinda his fault. Will sez he won’t ever leave Ashraf so chill man, and they go to sleep.
Happy time ruined Zaido suddenly jumps em and Will takes a stab for Ashraf. Before blacking out, Will confesses that he protected Ashraf cuz he loves the guy and thanks him for everything (…for imprisoning you in country BALLZ and for raping you?).
Course Will doesn’t die and he wakes up with our stupid annoying twat Ashraf by his side. Ashraf confesses his love for Will etc and he decides to ditch his royal responsibilities and run away together with Will. The end.
Second prince of country BALLZ. I kinda liked him at first you know cuz he was the oresama type, big arrogant prick but oh so smexy and acts like a big overgrown kid sometimes so that was cute. BUT THEN I PLAYED KARIM’S ROUTE AND WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK WAS THAT SHIT. Goddamn. Way to go ruin a character yo. Nonetheless he was cute most of the time.
…i thought Ashraf was being pushy the first time with Will. But then I saw wot Hakim did =.=” Normally, rape in BL is hot in my books but yo man wtf, Hakim was just like “GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND SUCK MY COCK BITCH” and then after sniggering at how bad Will is at licking dick (Will: WELL EXCUSE ME FOR NOT BEING HOMO), he pushes Will down and jams his giant brown wang into our poor uke’s ass. No foreplay no nutin. Just ‘up the chute it goes ~’. But similarly in Ashraf’s route, Will has a sudden mysterious horny attack so he started liking it after the initial “AAAAAAARGH MY ASS MY FUCKING ASS GET YOUR MEATSTICK OUTTA MY FUCKING ASS ALLAHLAHLAHLAHLAHLAHLAH!!!!!
Oh poor poor Will. And his poor poor ass. The next day, Will wakes up feelin btr and Hakim comes in to take him out. Will’s feeling pretty contemptuous towards Hakim for raping him senseless the night before but finds that he can’t stay mad at the guy cuz he’s all smiley and happily showin Will around the royal gardens and the two end up chattin all day long like old friends.
The two become bff and since then, Hakim hasn’t tried anything funny with Will (who appreciates that cuz DAMN the first time hurt like a bitch). One night, Arabian Zoro shows up to grab Will who’s fucking pissed off at the guy cuz he thinks AZ sold him to be a royal whore. Seein that Will ain’t in the mood to listen, AZ grabs Will and takes him to his hideout. AZ tells him that he was trying to help him by <insert really retarded round about explanation that just made me go “lolwot”> so bottom line is, he ain’t no bad guy. Whoops, wot great timing, Will suddenly gets another flux of raging teenage hormones and unconsciously calls out Hakim’s name. Here, AZ takes off his mask and it turns out he’s *GASP* NOWAY HE’S HAKIM!!! lol, we have a sexy scene ere with the two before Hakim brings Will back.
The followin day, Hakim tells Will that he’s gonna let him go home soon cuz it’s cruel to keep him here against his will (no shit sherlock how long did that take you). Will’s overjoyed but finds himself wanting to cry at the same time cuz he doesn’t want to be away from Hakim. The feeling’s mutual so the two have some more happy sex.
Shit happens wen Hakim finds out from Zaido about Will being a spy and he tells him to GTFO but blablabla oh god im getting tired of this game yeah all turns out well and they make up, end up together etc.
BOOYAH IT’S HATANO WATARU >w< Cuz of that, he’s the one I was most interested in and personality wise, he’s stoic, laconic and pretty expressionless most of the time but finds himself warming up to Will later on (so ma type lol). As I said earlier, he’s Ashraf’s servant and the bastard takes joy in fucking around with Karim and making his life miserable “just cuz I can” so aside from being completely adorable when he goes dere, Karim’s also kinda the woobie of the game cuz no matter wot, he can’t fight back and has to take all of Ashraf’s shit. Fucking Ashraf. AND HAKIM TOO.
Karim’s blessed with the oh so lovely task of cleaning Will up after every time he gets raped so to Will, Karim’s kinda like the one sane guy he can kinda trust around the place cuz he knows Karim won’t suddenly jump him and rape him. Karim on the other hand, just finds Will to be an odd hoe he’s assigned to take care of and tells Will that “It’s my job” every time Will thanks the guy for uh licking his ass clean lolololol. Through these ass cleaning sessions, these two start going somewot bff.
AND THEN WE GET TO THE DICKWEED PRINCES. My GOD i thought they were being rapists in their paths, in this, they are just fuck TERRIBLE. Will‘s horny all the time in this route (you’ll see why he is 24/7 later on) and keeps getting forced into nonstop 3somes by the princes who are bitch rough and jackhammer him like there’s no tomorrow. Even Karim’s like o.O;; “…the fuck they been doing to you” n Will tells him about London and everywhere outside of country BALLZ, seeing as Karim has been imprisoned here his whole life.
Happy time is cut short when the two shithead princes show up the next day wanting to fuck Will again but Ashraf then gets this WONDERFUL idea and goes “Hey, wouldn’t it be REALLY FUNNY if we made KARIM FUCK WILL?? ;D” and Karim tries to protest cuz WILL’S ASS CAN’T FUCKING TAKE IT but knowing that Karim’s prolly gonna get killed for speakin back to royalty, Will just tells him to do it and somehow it ends in some sandwich sex with Ashraf as well. Damn it felt weird when Karim was SO NICE to Will during their pr0n scene, like the guy was holdin back, askin whether it hurt 24/7 and tellin our uke that he’s gonna be gentle – guess I was too used to seeing Ashraf and Hakim’s rough sex shit
The princes leave after that and both Will and Karim are left in the room, asses filled with jizz. Karim’s piss worried about Will but the latter’s just mesmerised by the guy’s naked form and starts ogling and shiet – I can totally understand cuz DAMN Karim is FIIIIIIIINE ;D Karim turns cold again, sorry that he had to do the shit to Will but Will sez it’s alright so all’s good and Karim comes to visit the next day again.
Wrong move there though CUZ DEM PRINCES ARE BACK and ASSraf has an even better idea this time: “Will, YOU fuck Karim this time”. Yo like WTF??? I should say b4 going on, that i’m really not too fond of reverse couples in BL but Karim was hot so I let it slide lol – the guy was fucking crying from humiliation and pleasure and oh yeah, he was voiced by Hatano Wataru XD I’m a biased lil sadistic shit I know BUT HEY IM PLAYING A GAME THAT INVOLVES 2D MEN TAKING IT UP THE ASS so I think that’s a given
To rain some more hell on Karim, ASSraf then proceeds onto telling Will abt the lil greenhouse ere where Pashraf is grown and cultivated. Karim has not choice but to spill the shit and Will realises why he’s so horny all the time, cuz he’s been fed the sex drug fruit 24/7. Will suggests that Pashaf be revealed to the rest of the world cuz it can have gr8 medical advancements etc but Karim sez fuck no cuz it’ll cause a war and ere, it finally gets through Will’s thick skull that he’s in love with Karim and he tells our lil woobie that he’s gonna stay by his side through all of Assraf’s shit. Karim’s fuck touched cuz everyone treats him like shit and Will’s the only person who’s ever cared about him and cue in a thank you glomp from the guy.
Next day, Karim takes Will to the greenhouse and after givin him the ripened fruit to cure his horniness, the two make out, confess but Karim then sez that he’s negotiating bs to free Will from ere. Blablabla Will tells the guy to STFU cuz he aint goin anywhere without Karim and this turns Karim on so insert mad sex in the greenhouse lol.
Zaido then atks both Karim and Will and dumps em in some cellar till they spit out the whereabouts of Pashaf. Will’s identity as a spy is revealed but no matter cuz no one gives a shit and in pop in the guards to rape Zaido and alls good.
Will proclaims that he want to destroy Pashaf cuz its shittifying Karim’s life and then he invites him to live in England with him. Hakim shows up, he\s become the king or summin and decides tht he wants to nuke Pashaf as well so “You’re free to go Karim.” And so, the two leave the place and live happily ever after in England.
Ashraf x Karim End
Ah jeebuz and to think that was the end of Assraf =.=” *sigh* should have seen this one coming though, in Karim’s path, Will kept commenting non stop on how Assraf seems to always only have his eyes on Karim and wonders whether it’s because that’s Assraf’s sick way of showing his love. ANYWAY…on we go.
So Will thinks that Karim is in love with Assraf (Oh god Karim you must be a fucking huge M to like a douche like Assraf ==) and vice versa. Karim’s just like “…OKAY…” and thus Will plans to gget the two hitched.
Assraf comes to fuck Will, Will rambles on about :feelings” wotnot till Assraf bursts out that Karim is special to him and no one can have him. Karim has been eavesdropping, Will is 1247392479238% convinced the two are gay for each other so he sends Karim out to Assraf. There, Assraf tells Karim that no matter wot, he’s not letting him go cuz he belongs to him and then asks Karim abt how he feels. More mushy shit, confession and sexy time the end with Will stayin and doin Pashaf shit.
Afterthoughts and Conclusion
“Um…wtf was this shit” effectively sums up my feelings for this game.
In the end, I hated all the characters cept for Karim. I thought Will wud be relatively intelligent but he was fucking retarded, way too forgiving and falls in love wth ppl for no fucking reason. Hakim I initially liked but in Karim’s route he was a complete dickfuck (no, one act of kindness does not redeem you) with all the crazy ass porn shows. …and the worst of the bunch…fucking ASSRAF. WTFUCKING FUCK IS HE PLAYING AT. Just srsly man, wtf. I am at a loss for words, i don’t think anything I say can convey the amount of disgust I hold for him, though at the same time, I guess I’m bein a biased shit again cuz I’m just inclined to be prejudiced towards types like him – his kind of character usually serves only to piss me off for some reason. Despite the insufferable cast, there was Karim, the saving grace and I must say, I really liked him. He was flippin adorable, the way he tries to act all professional and cool but then that ice bitch facade of his starts to crumble when Will trots in and he starts getting all awkward 不器用, blushing his tight ass off all the time. Ah Karim.
No fucking clue about the music cuz i spent most of the game raging at Assraf and forcing myself to finish it. Which means it wans’t super shit or godly cuz I don’t rmb it. Some Kaji Yuuki guy or however you spell his name voiced Will and I’ve nvr heard of him b4 but god I hated his sex sounds, it was just a whole lot of senseless screaming. Assraf pissed me off every time he opened that shit filled mouth of his, Hakim was aite cuz I like Maeno Tomoaki and lol KARIM FTW cuz u kno, Hatano.
Eh though most everyone irked me, I can’t deny that the art is brill. Like SHIET MAN it was one of the main reasons to why I played this and i wasn’t disappointed – it was consistent throughout, everyone was damn fine srsly. Course ma fave was Karim – summin abt his silvery blue hair + dark skin + o face = WIN.
Ok the plot. In short, fucking RUBBISH. Unoriginal, boring just wtf. Just an excuse for shitloads of unnecessary smut. Normally that wudnt be a cause for me to complain but like most ppl, i like HOT SEX and Will’s seiyuu just made me go “STFU CRACKER” and hit the skip button =.=”