Otome Game Review – Renai Banchou


Alternative Titles: 恋愛番長 命短し、恋せよ乙女! Love is Power

Company: Otomate

Release Date: 11.11.10

Official Site:

http://www.otomate.jp/renai_bancho/

Platform: PSP

Genre:AVG, otome,  romance, comedy

Plot Summary:

Lol u kno if the main guy is dressed from head to toe in flashy, bright shiny pink, the utter WTF of the game just cannot be denied xD  This time, we got ourselves a whiny loser heroine who can’t fall in love for shiet and pissed that everyone else has gotten their significant other, she decides to give the school legend a try – tie a yellow hankie in the school roof and out will come a Renai Banchou to help you with your love troubles.  But lol this bitch is smart and cunning, thinks beyond dat:  Why just one colour?  Obviously more is better herpa derp so she uses a rainbow coloured hankie instead and *holy god heaven music* out come 7 banchou from the skies, at her service >;D

Just a sidenote, the heroine ere doesn’t have a default name (mb I just forgot) so I’ll be referrin to her as Angel cuz dats wot Renai Banchou calls her.

Renai Banchou

Mr OH SO FABULOUS of the game.  He’s normally the only banchou (hence his name) who shows up for dem love troubles.  Personalitywise, he’s outgoing and cheerful, brimmin with confidence but not to the extent of obfuscating arrrogance.  Lol he’s actually apparently some delinquent so he’s always bunking school and draggin the heroine along with him.  The only thing that can really unnerve him is when he truly falls for someone.

Dem Rival Banchou

When the banchou appear, Angel’s all “HORRY SHIET” and are about to pick one of em to help her but before that can happen, 7 MORE Banchou come from a helicopter and turns out the ones who showed up first are the RIVAL Banchou and they were impersonating the real Banchou who just came outta the sky.  The Rival Banchou consist of Do S Banchou, Fuuki Banchou, Date Banchou, Iyashi Banchou, Otome Banchou and KoAkuma Banchou.  These guys just come around to cockblock Angel’s progress with the real Banchou 24/7 and don’t really play a large role – which is a shame cuz they are pretty damn funny a bunch lol.

So the real Banchou tell the Rival Banchou to GTFO and angel then has her pick of em and she picks renai banchou ere. From ere on, she and renai banchou become  bf and gf and they go off to do lover stuff – the time limit is one year.  Angel pisses me off a fair bit cuz Renai banchou tries his best to get her to understand love and to make things real fun for her but all she ever thinks about is herself and how this is “SOOOOOO HARD LOVE STINKS” and ends up bitching about how Renai Banchou isn’t caring about her enough ==  Like when she introduces RB as “just a classmate” to a friend, he gets all depressed over it and all Angel thinks about it wot an emofag he’s being and how he’s ruining their date – the fuck, even all the other banchou are like “WTF U INSENSITIVE BEETCH APOLOGISE NAO”.  No wonder you can’t get der manz love, stupid shit Angel ==

Well anyway she gets better lol, stops being so whiny and shows she can be SO MAN when at the bunkasai, the banchou all start bitchfighting over wot song to perform and she’s just like “STFU BEETCHES AND LISTEN TO ME OR IMMAH ASSRAPE U ALL :@:@:@:@” and all turns out well.  She and RB then go to the roof and check out dem stars together =D

5 months pass since Renai and her start dating and still nothing happens.  Dem Summer holz come and Tsundere banchou invites everyone over to his private island.  There, Angel’s a lil idiot and manages to get lost in the forest at night (the fuck you doin there in the first place??) and needs Renai to rescue her stupid ass.  The two are about to make the hot sweet love but the other banchou come in to cockblock   lol

ok fuck this – Renai’s Banchou’s route is so fucking boring.  I’m trying my best to like it, trying my best to even sound all interested while writing this, heck i was looking forward to playing it but fuck, it ain’t funny, it ain’t interesting and the worst part is, there’s pretty much NO DEVELOPMENT. Halfway into Renai Banchou’s route and still there’s pretty much no change.  Angel is becoming less bitchy but wot I’m talking about is Renai Banchou himself.  He’s all over in love with Angel right from the start for no fucking reason and it’s getting old how he keeps singing out this stupid mushy crap; he had no reason to like her in the beginning and it’s making it seem as though he’s supposedly in love with her JUST CUZ he’s THE Renai Banchou.  It’s so fucking stupid to watch Angel instigate pointless unnecessary fights and then have Renai Banchou apologise to her when it’s blatantly obvious that it’s all her fault for being a weak, whiny completely ky heroine ==  the fuck.  Oh god.

*sigh* Now that’s outta the way, on we go I suppose -.-”  Soz for all da raginz.

So fast forward to February.  Almost a year has passed  and though Angel didn’t consider it before, she realises now that she and Renai are gonna  have to part way after she graduates and he’s gonna have to keep manwhoring around with other otome.  The week of Valentines, he and the other banchou are flooded with love requests so they have no time for Angel and she’s left emoing at the side.  She bitches on about how no one talks to her when fuck it, she could’ve just manned up and initiated conversation herself instead of being a brainless ball-less wussy at the sidelines ==  The day before Valentines, she texts  Renai but when he never replies, shes returns home all wangst ridden and throws a fit.  The next morn, she’s all ragin and crap but the Banchous’ slave, Bob,  gives her Renai’s schedule and she figures out that he’s so busy rite nao cuz he’s doing all his requests early so it’ll leave Valentines day free for the two of em.  That and it turns out her text failed to send out so she was goin nuts over nutin.  Anyway, the two meet, resolve shiet, confess to each other and alls good.

On the day of graduation, Angel goes around looking for Renai Banchou and finds him on the roof.  Renai tels her that though she’s tried hard this past year to know love, she sucked real bad and failed.  Angel’s all sad and shiet but thanks him for everything and starts crying in the end.  Banchou’s like “WHY U CRY BABY I NOT FINISHED” and starts eating her face lol.  Cuz she’s so fail, he’s gonna stick with her and be her lover so she’ll get some brains and become less of a whiny loser.  Dream End.

And NO i’m not doing all 3 endings, it was hell enough to plough through one of em – you all have me gracious apology.

Yasu

He’s not really one of the banchou, more like their secretary disciple of sorts and he worships all dem banchou.  He’s a polite genius kid but also a total geek, being into animu and mango and gaming.  That and he talks like a complete dweeb too with the  はいっす\!! bs lol.  Also  likes silver accessories has wannabe FF hair.  He doesn’t really have any experience in love, just takes down a lotta statistics and data and gets most of his stuff from Korean drama and shoujo manga xD

So Angel’s all hyped up for her first date with Yasu so she shows up earlier than him but when he arrives, he’s all “NO THIS IS ALL WRONG – IT’S PROPER ETIQUETTE FOR THE GIRL TO BE LATE!!” and makes Angel run to him from some distance away pretending to be late while she’s all “WTF KINDA SHOUJO MANGA IS THIS ?!” xD  They get to the amusement park and Yasu brings up a giant schedule of wot they gonna be doing and acts like he’s all confident and knows wot he’s doing but wen they take a couples’ pic together, he’s made to do some lover pose crap and Angel notices that he’s all flustered, nervous and shakin lol.  She goes onto making a bentou for Yasu and holy shiet Angel can cook o.O;;  Fine I like you a little more now lol.

As if his crazy ass plans and shiet for the amusement park date wasn’t enough, for Golden Week, Yasu makes plans for 5 days straight for he and Angel to date cuz lmao he wants to raise her 好感度 lololol – apparently our dear Yasu boy plays dem eroge and galge too xD Yasu’s all excited like a lil schoolboy abt dem dates he worked so hard on but then in pop Renai and Data Banchou and they all go “SUCK MA BIG HAIRY BLACK COCK UR PLANS SUCK” and poor Yasu’s all crushed and apologises to Angel for being a fail bf.  But it’s okay cuz Angel ere’s not completely useless and brain dead and touched, she decides she’s gotta work for Yasu too but by the time these two adorkable idiots patch things up, GW’s over – FAIL.

Similarly with Renai Banchou’s route, Tsundere Banchou struts over to invite all the banchou to his private island and Angel somehow gets lost in the woods again.  Yasu comes barreling in, tackles Angel and he’s all crying and ere I noticed that he actually wears BLACK NAIL POLISH XDXD  *ahem* Rite, so Angel’s all “YASU BABYYYYY” and lmao when Yasu goes 「怖かった!!」 and was actually shit scared of goin into the woods.  Turns out the other banchou made him watch horror movies the night before so he was pissin his pants with fear but knowin that Angel was lost in the forest alone made him man up and go look for her >w<   Lol all that skin contact gave Yasu a giant hardon so he’s all “ANGEL U GO ON AHEAD I NEEDA WORK SOME STRESS OFF” XDXD

Their school trip to Kyoto comes round and everyone’s having a blast till the banchou all suddenly go “TEEHEE YASU TAKE THE TRIAL OF MANRINESS!!” which = chug down all ur coke in one go or they be writin on him with a permanent marker.  While that’s happening, Angel goes to chill in the onsen alone and some minutes later, OMFG YASU WOT ARE U DOING ERE?!? lmao turns out Data banchou swapped the male-female signs for kicks so ere we got Yasu totally flippin out and getting a boner while having “CHERRY ” scrawled across his torso and Angel just going “CALM. THE. FUCK. DOWN. BEETCH.” X)

So the months roll by and soon it’s Feb, a month before grad. There’s no time for Angel to emo about breaking up with Yasu however cuz her casual fling ex bf comes back to pursue her and asks whether they can start over again.  He knows that Yasu’s only gonna be her bf for another month cuz the dating lovers thing ends in a year so she might as well just go for him again.  Angel’s about to tell him to bugger off but Yasu beats her to it and comes flying through the doors, hollerin some 「おれの彼女ょなんっす!!!」 and 「好きだよ。世界の中誰よりも、きみが好きだよ」 Oh Yasu you.

The day before graduation, Yasu tells Angel that today’s the last day before their little lovers game is to end.  Angel’s all emo abt it but she knew it was comin so agrees.  The next day, she’s all emoin abt it but decides to see Yasu one last time and outta the sky from a heli comes Yasu.  He promptly asks her out, as REAL bf gf and not some silly lil experience game which just pisses Angel off and she goes all 「ヤスのバカ!!」 and glomps him outta happiness and all ends well =D SO MUCH BETTER THAN RENAI’S ROUTE.

Sawayaka Banchou

Lol Kazehaya from Kimi ni Todoke taken to the extreme – 「爽快☆!!」XD  Sawakaya Banchou’s all refreshing and chill like his name suggests and he’s in a band called SAWAYAKA BOYS lmao.  He does everything with 「爽快☆」in his head, is always smiling and is very innocent but he’s actually pretty bratty and annoying and all he ever thinks about is how to be “DA NUMBAH ONE SAWAYAKA☆!!”

Their first date is just epic wtf fail and consisted of Sawayaka speeding around on a bike screaming shiet like “I’M THE MOST SAWAYAKA IN DA WORLD BABY” while Angel fumbled after him all “IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF A DATE?!? :@:@:@” XD  In the end, Angel gets so pissed off that she just runs off but Sawayaka’s got dat bad@ss ELECTRICITY powered bike of his so he just catches up to her and being completely oblivious to her irritation, he suggests that the two of em take a nice stroll nao and that makes everytin btr.

Angel thinks that things’ll kinda pick up from there on but jeebuz fuck Sawayaka’s just plain retarded, it’s like he’s high all the time and he’s ricocheting off the walls 24/7 365 being so fucking random that it’s even making me go “WTF U DOIN BEETCH”, let alone the characters in the game themselves; one minute he’s racin round on his bike with his SAWAYAKA BOYS, the next he’s scaling Angel’s wall for kicks, and then he’s just plain uncaring towards Angel, encouraging her to DATE OTHER MEN o.O;;

Confused and hurt, Angel finds that she can’t reject the “OTHER MEN” in question who = Ko Akuma Banchou.  The guy’s delighted that she’s agreed to see him but halfway through, Angel realises that it’s gotta be Sawayaka (WHY?!?!) so she ditches Ko Akuma, leaving him all sad and ronery lol.  Sawayaka shows up den and it turns out he was just testing to see if Angel wud whore around with other guys ==

Okay so fast forward to the end cuz honestly, Sawayaka’s route is completely boring and pointless like Renai Banchou’s.  The last days of school, there’s a rumour circulatin that there’s a guy who’s got a crush on Angel and she’s all “EEEWWW” abt it.  However, Sawayaka takes this as an opportunity to break off nicely with her, that she’s learnt all she can from him and hey lookie there, some guy;s all hyped up to be your next bf =D  On the day of grad, Sawayaka gets ready to leave via heli on the school roof but Angel bursts throughthe doors and starts shrieking about how much she loves him so “BEETCH U BETTER NOT LEAVE ME ERE :@:@”.  Lol Sawayaka starts lmaoin abt how he lied to her and that they can still be together, he was just testing her AGAIN and Angel’s all mortified that she’s been tricked so she snogs him – “REVENGE BEETCH >;D”.  Meh.

Sexy Banchou

“SEXYYYYYY ;D” <– lol ToriKou.  Sexy Banchou is the calm, mature sempai who exudes an air of reliability unlike the previous 3 banchou ^^;;  As he name suggests for his type of character, he’s a giant molesting dirtbag who uses “teachin u luv baby ;)” as an excuse to feel Angel up.  That and he apparently gives off crazyass pheromones (OH JEEBUZ YOUJI FROM SWEET POOL XD) so everyone goes all メロメロ whenever they see him.

Omfg WOT A PERVE.  Everything that comes outta his mouth screams “HENTAIIII” at me and Angel who just spends all her time going 「離れてよ!!」.  He’s kissin her and all rite off the bat and when he says he’ll help her with dem studies, he demands that Angel let him sleep on her lap and when she’s like “Okay nao teach me maths” he’s like “WHO SED MATHS??  WE BE DOIN DEM LUUURV LESSONS <3”.  He sez that you gotta be unpredictable with love so Angel suddenly starts patting him on the head (girl dat the best u can come up with??) and she gets all o.O;; wen he starts going「気持ちいい。。。もっとして」 teehee

When Angel gets lost in the forest, her bikini strap gets undone and she can’t tie it back herself.  In comes Sexy Banchou who starts molesting her back as he helps her tie it back and when she’s hungry, he presents her with some cookies but makes her do “Lady and the Tramp” with him lmao >;D

Again, he gets all pervert when the banchou all decide to sneak into the school at night and use it as a haunted house/bravery trial of sorts.  Angel complies but shis her pants halfway through and needs Sexy Banchou to stop the thing.  She thinks he’s gonna take her home but instead, he drags her into an empty classroom and lmao gets his tongue to pole dance on her finger xD.  Then he gives her a hickey for kicks ニシシシシシシシ

AND NO ALL THAT SEXY STUFF DOES NOT END THERE. During the school trip to Kyoto, Sexy banchou decides to give Angel a massage (no that’s not the teehee part) and Angel then decides to do the same for him.  When she finds out there’s a certain spot that hurts cuz he’s been drinkin too much of summin (???), she feels him up there nonstop, figurin that this is payback for all the times he made her squirm but rmb, this is SEXY BANCHOU WE BE TALKING ABOUT so he suddenly gets a massive horny attack and pushes her down onto the ground and starts raping the daylights outta her starts fondling her feet with  his mouth

Then he takes Angel out on a date to go play snooker – SWEET BABY JESUS he even manages to make a game of snooker look shifty (okay fine it’s prolly just me sick mind) xD  He challenges Angel to a shaolin showdown where everytime he gets a ball in, she’s gotta let him make a hickey on her, location of his choice.  Oh Mr. Sexy, you just don’t know when to stop do you?

So then we get to the end.  Like in Sawayaka’s route, Sexy Banchou says that the end is near and they gotta stop at this lover’s game thing.  Angel no want so she calls him out to the roof on grad and confesses “I WANT YOU BIC BOIIIII” and this turns Sexy Banchou enough that he can’t say no so he tells her it’s mutual and the end ;D

Pretty Banchou

The shota banchou of the game.  He’s the standard cute and fluffy lil guy who likes sweet foods and cute things but is also pretty devious in that he KNOWS he’s totally adorable and actually uses it to his advantage lol.  I’m normally not for girly shota but I gotta admit, this guy was pretty damn cute and was surprisingly manly at times too =D

So he’s all cute and fluffy right from the beginning, does girlfriend shopping with Angel, acts all cute shota with her and dances with her etc all that standard happy shota stuff.  Angel thinks she’s got the perfect bf cuz he’s so nice and everything but turns out he gets crazy rapist jealous whenever other banchou come along and has giant issues abt not being “MANLY ENOUGH” so it’s pretty funny to watch him start mopin abt dat lol.

Okay but that’s like where the good stuff ends.  There’s like some trend in this game if u play the guys in order: suck, good, suck, good and so on.  Since Sexy was good and Pretty kun is after Sexy banchou, then too bad he’s in for the suck category ==  Nothing overly interesting happens after the beginning cept for Pretty kun getting into some hideous wedding dress for a fashion show ^^;;

So skip to the end.  Pretty banchou suggests that they go out on their last date and though Angel’s all weepy about it, she wants to make the last date fun so agrees all happy.  Pretty kun takes her to the amusement park where they have a blast and go on the ferris wheel, their last ride.  There, they confess  to each other blablabla so much fun best date ever and the date ends

The next day is grad so the two of em are on the roof and there Pretty Banchou apologises and sez dat they gonna end.  Still, Angel doesn’t cry and merely confesses to and thanks him before he leaves.  3 days later, Angel’s still emoin over Pretty banchou but then she gets a call from the guy and rushes out to meet him.  He surprises her, sez he cudnt forget about her so now he’s back.  Boring ==

Tsundere Banchou

Dude, the minute we see “Tsundere”, we just know that this guy’s gonna be a total riot to play.  And no, unlike the other half of the trashy guys ere, he does not disappoint ;D  Tsundere banchou’s some super rich bocchama who’s an arrogant dickfuck who’s all snappish and bitchy BUUUUUUUT course that’s just cuz he’s a giant tsundere – too 不器用 to express his niceness, too dere to be directly sweet and act like a bf, he’s really just a jerk with a golden heart who’s prolly the most dedicated one in the banchou group to helpin all dem helpless otome girls and REALLY REALLY does mellow out later on, to the point that he’s the most embarrassing banchou in terms of wtf comes outta his mouth 0//.//O;;

Kay cuz he’s TSUNdere Banchou, he acts like a giant asshole when he starts being Angel’s boyfriend.  He trashtalks her 24/7, calls her

恋愛音痴, orders her around and acts more like her master than anything.  Angel tolerates it for like, 5 seconds before she snaps and tells him to STFU and GTFO which impresses Tsundere kun cuz he’s been deliberately pissing her off to get her to reveal wot she’s really thinking to him instead of being a meek useless tit lol.

Otome Banchou then kidnaps Angel outta her class to take her on a date and Angel’s all “WTFBBQ” but no worries cuz Tsundere kun to the rescue, goes 「俺の女に手を出すな!!」and epic moment of shitting breaks when Angel goes “…Are you referrin to Otome Banchou? T.T” XD  Poor Tsundere kun is left splutterin like an asphyxiating goldfish cuz obviously he meant Angel but cuz he’s a giant tsundere, he can’t spit it out so he just opts for ACTIONS OVER WORDS, grabs her  hand and flees the scene with her.  He takes her out on a date, ordering her into clothes and buyin em all for her and then buying out all the spots in a classy richass restaurant so they can has some alone time together teehee but fail again when Angel fails to realise it’s a date and has to ask him halfway through the meal – 「まさか。。。これはデート???」

One day, Angel’s girlfriends are all yapping about handmade bentou and about how they’ve all made one for their bf.  Angel notices Tsundere kun looking at theirs all horny so she decides to make one for him the next day.  Course, Tsundere kun’s gotta be all 「いらねえよ!!」about it but Angel tells him to suck cock and does the “Aan ~” thing with him – till Otome Banchou comes in to cockblock lol.

So like in all the other paths, Angel again gets lost when she goes to Tsundere Banchou’s private island and needs Tsundere to come crashin through dem trees to save her.  He totally loses his shiet and starts mouthing off at her for being a dumb twat to which an indignant Angel responds to by snapping rite back at him and telling Tsundere kun that she wud’ve been completely fine without him.  Tsundere kun realises she’s scared shietless when Angel starts baaawin, asks whether she’s cryin or not and when she replies that it’s cuz of the rain, he wipes em off her face, telling her that he just had a rush of teenage hormones and wanted to start molesting her face lol.

Time passes real fast and soon it’s January.  Tsundere kun suddenly gets dem horny urges again so he flies down in his heli to kidnap Angel outta her house.  Angel’s all innocently happy that Tsundere’s become so 素直 with her but Tsundere instead sees it as an opening to get all snuggly with her and then he starts spouting some omfg embarrassing horny lines along the lines of “WHERE DO U WANT ME TO TOUCH U.  SAY IT, SAY IT OUT LOUD” but when Angel goes like “MAI SEXY LIPS?? ;D” he totally flips and goes back to his old tsundere self lol.  Anyway, he brought her out not just cuz he was feeling ronery but also cuz it’s New Years and he wanted to show her the first sunrise of the year – D’aaaaaw nao ain’t he sweet?

Following that, Angel keeps having recurring dreams of Tsundere kun telling her 「お前と、離れたくねえよ」on the heli and is unable to sleep.  Tsundere kun texts her cuz turns out he can’t sleep either and the minute Angel starts talking about Otome Banchou, Tsundere kun flips and speeds over to her on his lightspeed batmobile woteva in a fit of jealousy.  She’s all 「ニシシシシ、ヤキモチ?>;D」 before going off to pour him a cup of tea but Tsundere kun grabs her hand and asks why she can’t fall asleep.  Angel chucks the question rite back at him and he ends up confessing all mumbly fumbly that it’s cuz he keeps having wet dreams about her oh laaaaawd >w<  Angel says shes the same before Tsundere kun says that he wants to sleep with her (SLEEP SLEEP U PERVES xD)  and they snooze on the same bed for a tad and Tsundere kun leaves when he thinks Angel has fallen asleep cuz “there’s no way I can possibly fall asleep with this tight ass next to me” lololololol

A month’s passed, grad’s almost ere.  For Valentine’s, Tsundere says to Angel “Be my Valentine” and makes out with her forehead.  Days after dat, crazyass reporters flood the school and start some crap about how Tsundere Banchou is no loner TSUNdere Banchou but is now DEREDERE BANCHOU XDXD  Angel apologises to Tsundere kun cuz it’s all her fault that shiet like this is flying round but all Tsundere banchou asks for is how she feels about him and after Angel says that she wants to be with him, dem reporters go nuts and start screaming about Tsundere –> Deredere Banchou.  Tsundere banchou tells em all to STFU and goes 「テメエの女が素直に可愛くなってんだ。 普通デレるだろう?!」and proclaims that he’ll always be Tsundere Banchou.

OKAY NAO end is ere and it’s graduation day.  Tsundere kun takes Angel out to his private beach once more where he asks her what she’s learnt from all his love lesson banchou stuff.  She replies that she’s learnt that you gotta be honest in love and is about to confess but Tsundere kun beats her to it, grabs her from the back and sez dat he ain’t letting this end yet.  Angel confesses too and all ends well with horny Tsundere kun rambling on about how a kiss with her is 「足りねえ」SO 「今夜から。。。」 TEEHEE.

Mysterious Banchou

Last Banchou.  He’s some enigmatic dude who’s always got some smile gracing his face and CANNOT. SPEAK. STRAIGHT.  Everything with him is like fucking riddles – in fact, i bet if Angel asked him whether he’s got a willy or a dusty uterus he’d still answer「さあ、どうでしょうね;)」.  Yeah so he’s just really weird and odd, nice but beat about the bush a hell lot and does everything in bigasswirly spirals ==

Kay Immah be apologisin beforehand cuz his route’s gonna be short and rushed cuz frankly, I’m tired of this game and I know from other reviews already that his route is again another meh route.  Yes and Misterious Banchou is just like Sawayaka, completely fucking random, he keeps bursting out in retarded lyrical ‘poetry‘, acts like a stoning hippie and jacks off to fucking STARS ==  Actually nvm, his route had me going WTF LOLOLOL so much im actually get ma ass to work and write.

First date was just retarded, he invites Angel out to look at dem stars and when she gets to the meeting place, she’s too much of a pussy to go say hi to him so ends up loitering around like a fucking idiot for an hour till Mysterious Banchou finally finishes jacking off to stars and notices her.  He then proceeds onto blathering about some cheesy shiet about stars and love and how he thinks it’s all poetic and romantic but really, it was just a fat fucking waste of time reading that crap and I should have just skipped it all.  screw this.

Next, he calls her out to the park and Angel’s expectin either he’s in trouble or it’s a date but instead, finds him rooting around in the grass and when she asks him WTF U DOIN BEETCH he’s all “IMMAH BE LOOKING FOR ALIENS LOLOLOL” <– is this idea of being ‘mysterious’??  He then asks Angel to get down on all fours and take him like a hoe look for aliens too, it’s real easy cuz apparently THEY SPEAK TO HIM OH LAWD HE’S SCHIZOPHRENIC TOO.

i gotta admit "Mystei" looks pretty badass ere lol

And yeah to highlight again how much of a freak he is, Angel gets harassed by Do S Banchou and when the guy won’t bugger off, Mysterious Banchou starts emitting BLUE ELECTRICITY from his body and shoots FUCKING LASERS FROM HIS HEAD which has Do S Banchou shitting his pants and going “I’LL REVEAL U FOR WOT U ARE ONE DAY U WATCH UR BACK”.  Only difference is, this was actually pretty lmfao and awesome unlike lookin for his imaginary friends in the grass or his stupid love poems on stars.

So yeah, nothing interesting really happens btwn there cept for Mysterious Banchou being a paranormal loving creep and i lmaoed so bad when he went on chivalric crazy trying to protect Angel from the rain by shielding her with his body and then he went all emo wen he couldn’t do it cuz dat meant he was a useless bf THE FUUUUCK?? XDXD  Do S Banchou comes round to rofl too but Mysterious Banchou goes all Star Wars on his ass and snaps his umbrella with THE FORCE.

Now onto the end. Mysterious Banchou brings up that they tomoz is grad and that’s it for the two of em.  Angel however, tells him that she’s summin to say to him so wait for her.  When he shows up the next day, Angel tells him that he’s a fucking freak, that she never has any fucking clue wot the fuck he’s going on about and that his obsession with stars and aliens is just wtf “but that’s all okay cuz I’m in love with you :)”.  Mysterious confesses back and snoogy woogy wips time.  The end.

Afterthoughts and Conclusion

I’M FINARRY DONE =D

So for the characters.   Anway, my fave is definitely TSUNDERE KUN. There were times where I felt that his tsundere thing was a bit overdone but fuck that, the moments of AWESOME definitely outweighed those and he was just fucking adorable.  Next is Yasu cuz he was such a giant derp who tried so hard despite his hurrdurrness so I cudn’t help but like him.  And yeah Sexy Banchou is just LMFAO, from his “SEXYYYYY <3” callouts to his LEOPARD PRINT SPEEDOES xD …And everyone else was just meh.  Renai was just irritating with his stupid love speeches, the way he coddles Angel and he felt so…FAKE and insincere o.O;;  Sawayaka was just a random son of a bitche, i had no fucking clue wot was going on his route and Pretty was just uh really cute.  Mysterious was just high all the time.  Oh and I loved Koakuma and Otome Banchou cuz those were two hilarious sons of bitches lol.  And last but not least, we have Angel.  I was extremely put off with her annoying whiny attitude with Renai Banchou but that was only in his route and in every other route she was pretty damn funny, she acted like a normal girl and was pretty awesome in the end =D

Music?  Eh all I can say is dat it fit the silly atmosphere of this game.  Good job to Nakamura Yuuichi for being Tsundere Banchou SO I’M ALL FOR HIM (STFU HE’S MA TOMOYA FROM CLANNAD) and same for Sexy Banchou cuz u kno, ToriKou FTW.

No complaints for the art, it’s Maeda Hirotaka man, gotta love the dude’s funkyass character designs (lololol Lucian Bees).  He’s got this really distinct style I’d say, shiny colours and summin abt dem faces – it’s different but I really like it.  I liked all dem character designs really but fave goes to Tsundere kun and his goatee lol.

Onto the routes.  Like I said, the characters go like suck, good, suck good etc.  The worst route I’d say is Sawayaka’s cuz i have no fucking clue wot the guy is doing the whole way, Sawayaka me ass and the best route definitely goes to Tsundere kun.  Thing I don’t like is how all the banchou seem to be magically in love with Angel from the start – it showcases em as shallow turdheads who’d go for anyone who asks em for banchou help imao ==

So overall?  I’m pretty damn disappointed in this game cuz i was really lookin forward to it, wot with the completely silly premise and flashy chara designs.  However, in the end, 4/7 of the characters were disappointing and their routes were just plain meh.  Though there aren’t any other glaring faults in the game aside from that, those 4 crappy routes were enough to shittify the game a fair bit, leaving me all =3=****** by the time I got to to Tsundere kun.  I recommend that ppl play this game just for Yasu, Sexy Banchou and Tsundere kun cuz these 3 are kinda the onli ones worth playing AND their routes are actually pretty damn awesome =D

17 Responses to “Otome Game Review – Renai Banchou”

  1. murazaki13 Says:

    *.* thanks¡¡
    very good¡¡¡

  2. out of curiosity, do these guys even have proper names? or is ‘angel’ always calling them ‘XX banchou’??

    (how come this post is so colourful?)

    • domshiki Says:

      lmao yeah it’s all xx banchou so pretty odd cept for Yasu cuz he actually has a REAL NAME XD it’s colourful cuz i coordinated the banchou wit their respective colours lololol

  3. sharakael Says:

    LOL I started playing this game, and haven’t managed past 1 route…
    I swear this game was made purely for LOLs and WTFs XD I mean, you don’t even know if the Banchous even have a real name or something, or what they do outside of Banchou-ing XD

    I guess it’s an OK game, if you weren’t expecting much out of it XD

  4. LOL glad to see you share my opinion. I was really curious about this, but the game turns out to be a total disappointment. IDK, it’s more like a chain of events than a story. Sure it’s full of LOL and such but we can’t expect much, really. xD

    My favorites are the same as yours. Tsundere, Yasu and Sexy. Pretty is okay. I endured Sawayaka and Renai’s route, and playing Misty’s route made me wanna ditch the game ASAP. Not a good sign lol. Did you get the ending where Angel goes to the the same uni as Sexy? It’s called Sexy University full of people with pheromone-releasing jutsu like him, which made me go WTF is this. As if not giving them real names isn’t enough rofl.

    • domshiki Says:

      HAHAHAH ROFL at the Sexy Uni thing with pheromone loaded freaks xDxD dear god now i kinda wished i played that ending instead but fuck it, i’m never touching this game again ==

      freaking sawayaka made me wanna punch him, renai was just an obfuscating derphead and Misty? DEAR GOD PEW PEW LAHZZORS FROM FOREHEAD WUUUUUT?? lol despite all the disappointment i gotta say this game was pretty lmfao in the end xD

  5. Elky Says:

    aah geez, why must the sexy one remind me of dasoku. orz;;;

    i want thisss but i have no PSP. ;;
    gdi, i should be getting myself one… all the awesome looking otome games seem to be for the PSP…

  6. ohh thank you for this review lmfao
    God I hope they can update emulators some day so I can try this game out TAT;;

    Tsundere banchoo..! So disappointed to hear a lot of the routes sucked (´・ω・`;)

  7. Lalala Says:

    I would like to see Otome Banchou as the heroine! I still can’t tell if he likes Tsundere-kun or the heroine!

  8. Man…I was planning on buying this game…I’m sad to find out that it really wasn’t all that. ORZ
    But…I kind of want to play Tsundere Bancho too… and I kind of want to go after Saywaka Bancho even though you said it’s confusing and not good LOL b/c I love sayawaka boys…I really do LOL

  9. Mimi Says:

    ;_; and here I went and got this game and it turns out to be pretty much a total disappointment… I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE TRUSTED THE COLORFUL COVER IKNEWITIKNEWITIKNEWIT

    Ahh well, Tsundere Banchou might just be worth getting the game :P Maybe I’ll just play his route.

    But I gotta say…. I lol’d the entire time I read this post. Great review as usual hahaha

  10. … it might be that I’m a bit drunk, but I am flipping dying reading this review. Oh my god. I still sort of want to play this game though… for the shits and giggles. I know I shouldn’t trust the cover art but… god… Tsundere Banchou might be worth it, also because I pretty much died laughing reading this review. I love, love, love this.

  11. Patsuan Says:

    Lol! I loved the pink guy xD I’ve been looking for characters with looks like that O_o

  12. Cezart158 Says:

    Hmm I’m thinking you switched colors for Yasu and Mysterious Banchou. The other guys all seem to have eye colors that match their respective colors. if you look at Yasu’s they’re kinda darkish blue and Mysterio’s is kinda dark gold or brown or something that seems it’s like yellow or something

    • Cezart158 Says:

      Also the colors they wear represent their colors. Mysterious Banchou’s coat has some yellow in it too while’s Yasu’s is dark blue

  13. smiley Says:

    I wonder, is it possible to unlock Tsundere Banchou and just play him? Im sort of only interested in him…

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