Otome Game Review – Kuro to Kin no Akanai Kagi
Company: little cheese
Release Date: 04.12.11
Genre: AVG, 18+ otome, romance, yandere
Plot Summary: YANDERE. This is wot this game is essentially built on – that should give you an inkling of wots gonna be in ere ;D Heroine Kanade is a hikki who spends all her time sleeping and having random 妄想 to escape from reality, using a HENTAI ONIISAN figure in her dreams to keep her going through life lol. However, a haircut from a mysterious pervert x changes her for the better and gives her the courage to get the fuck outta her house…and thus begins our brave warrior’s adventures into the real world…summin like dat xD
The game opens with Kanade wangsting about how she’s a ball-less hikki and how that nothing is ever gonna change cuz she ain’t man enough to change herself. Much to Ikuto’s exasperation, she sits at home all day, refuses to go to school and spends all her time sleeping so she don’t gotta deal with this harsh cruel world.
One day she dreams of her HENTAI ONIISAN who tells her to man the fuck up already and go out, so when she wakes up she does just dat. Outside, she gets ‘kidnapped’ by some barber who, to her absolute horror and dismay, cuts her hair and she GTFOs for her life, getting a “IS THIS REALLY ME??” moment when she catches her own reflection in a shop window. Ere’s where things split.
The adopted little bro, a horny little munchkin who’s in love with his own sis Kanade >;D Unlike Kanade, he says woteva he wants, has a fair bit of attitude going on about him and is always harping on about summin. But course, it’s all for his beloved ANEKI‘s good – u touch her u so screwed, just dat he’s too tsundere to show any of dat lol He’s a model student too, excelling in both academics, sports and housework – WHICH MEANS HE CAN COOK <3
After the haircut, she decides to go to school and when she comes home, Ikuto’s like “TAKE OFF UR UNIFORM NEEDA WASH” so Kanade’s like “Why don’t u take it off for me bic boiiii? ;)” and lol he pretends to but WHOOOOPS her skirt falls right off xD
So Ikuto’s initially happy dat his Aneki’s back at school but he quickly becomes crazy ass jealous and worried whenever she doesn’t come home by her curfew of…5pm. When she teacher walks her home, he flips out and starts bitching at the teacher and anyone who comes near her lol
Then dem teenage hormones kick in and Ikuto gets a boner when his drunk sis hugs him ;D But he restrains himself cuz he loff her big time and tries to get Kanade to find some other dude so he can forget about her yet all dat proves futile as she keeps coming home to find him and various incidents keep testing his self restraint – like copping a feel of her tittays lmao xD
Ikuto’s now gotta work off all dat pent up sexual frustration so he jacks off to her at home but Kanade catches him in the act – thankfully for Ikuto she doesn’t hear him going “ANEKI” as he played with his dong and she GTFOs.
But Ikuto knows she saw and goes all yandere creepy when he sees dat Kanade’s tryna pretend nothing ever happened. rofl that just turns out to be his way of getting over it and Kanade reassures him that’s “IT’S OKAY ALL BOYS DO IT =D” all all’s good again.
Or so Kanade thinks. The yandere possessive shiet only escalates and Ikuto goes nuttier than ever whenever dudes approach his aneki, chauffeurs her everywhere and tells Kanade dat he loves her while he THINKS she’s sleeping – yeah rite. This however, allows Kanade to grow up and stop relying on her dream HENTAI ONIISAN and she realises that she’s in love with Ikuto too
Dat night, she slips into Ikuto’s room, confesses and sez dat she’s come ere for 夜這い lololol. The two get it on and halfway through Ikuto dashes outta the room to go grab a condom xDxD
So das it for the happy end. The two become a happy Kindan Koi couple and on valentines day, Kanade tries to make some chocolate for Ikuto but as her cooking ability is zilch, she creates a mess – not dat Ikuto cares cuz he’ll still eat it and use it for kinky valentines sex body paint ;D
Seeing as dis is all yandere shiet, course I gotta play dem bad ends no? xD
The first bad end has Kanade and Ikuto making up after she catches him jacking off and same as before, she thinks it’s all good till the next morn. A friend of hers, Yukio, comes over to have breakfast and to walk her to school and while Kanade’s in the kitchen cracking dem eggs, Ikuto comes up behind her and starts feeling her crotch – “You saw me, it’s only fair if I see you too >;)”. After he’s done, he chuckles about how his Aneki is a fail at cracking eggs and got his fingers wet and licks Kanade’s prune juice off his fingers in front of Yukio LOLWUT
Second bad end has Yukio sexing Kanade in front of Ikuto to make Ikuto give up or summin. Das it.
Now for the ULTIMATE BLACK END lol. Ikuto goes ahead with his penis, rapes Kanade, confines her to his room and continues to rape her everyday, butt and all. The end.
The “Stalker Barber” who cus Kanade’s hair for free. He’s somewot a Cuckoo Cloud Lander: does woteva the fuck he wants, doesn’t seem to notice that everyone around is going o.O;; at him and is a very nice guy who carries no malicious intent wotsoever.
OR SO IT SEEMS xD
After she gets her haircut, Kanade feels bad for not thanking or paying Tomoomi so she goes back the next day to go pay him. However, he’s all smiley and sez it’s a service but if she really wants to repay him, just let him take some pics of her hair and let him cut it. He also has a salon and sez Kanade’s welcome to come see him anytime =D
During the bunkasai, Tomoomi comes along to say hi but soon disappears and Kanade spends the whole day looking for him. Turns out he was looking for her too lol, they find each other in the end where Tomoomi tells Kanade that she’s beautiful and she starts baawing and thanking him and shiet.
Seeing as he’s so nice to her and all, Kanade falls for Tomoomi real fast and it seems her feelings are reciprocated when he takes her out on rich fancy dates and starts snogging her. Tomoomi’s actually a celeb barber who left the scene fo some reason and for a while, Kanade’s happy and shiet with Tomoomi.
…till he pulls an Ikuto on us and starts going nuts like how all the guys in this game inevitably will lol. He drags her to his hotel room one day and starts flipping out and raping her hair. Kanade tries to GTFO but is petrified when she sees mannequins of her everywhere – really, to Tomoomi, she’s the perfect female human specimen so he’s been obsessing over her since day 1. And his salon? “It’s made only for you.” Anyway, Tomoomi gives Kanade a card to his room and tells her to come back next time.
Which she does the next day. There, she confesses that she loves him and shiet but Tomoomi’s just like “YOU’RE MY DOLL” and tells her to put on a dress he prepared for her. Kanade tells him to STFU cuz she’s not a fucking doll, cue in emofaggotry shower sex ==” and das it. wtf is this shit??
Kanade wears the dress but goes nuts and starts snipping it up cuz again, she ain’t nobody’s doll. She gives a long speech about loving Tomoomi’s personality etc before Tomoomi himself, lapses into a giant wangst filled talk. He stopped cutting hair cuz nobody cared abt his opinion and just wanted him to “CUT IT THE WAY I SAY TO” so he quit and started cutting himself CUZ IT HURT SO MUCH NOT TO CUT HAIR but meet Kanade and felt she was the one. Blablabla more mushy crap before the start start smexing around in a bed of…gray roses ==
2nd bad end: Kanade rejects the key to Tomoomi’s room, prompting him to lock her in forever, rape her 24/7 and almost cut off her clit with a pair of scissors o.O;;
3rd bad end: Kanade rejects Tomoomi and leaves him.
Kanade’s crush back in her primary school years. After she gets a haircut, he hits on her and they have a lil reunion lol. Bright and cheery, he’s the チャラ type, does the nanpa crap and helps Kanade out afterwards. Though he seems all honest and straightforward, he’s actually pretty messed up inside too – yandere banzai?
Kanade’s all afraid to go back to school at first but Yukio’s there to give her testosterone shots so she’ll have the balls to start learning again. He walks her to school everyday despite being from another school and regularly asks her out on dates =D
So it’s TOTALLY OBVIOUS that he’s liked her long time too and though he’s all チャラ confident looking, he’s actually a giant virgin dork like Kanade too so the two of em are always left like fumbling blushing retards whenever summin fluffy comes up lol. In the end, Yukio mans up and manages to ask Kanade 「俺の彼女になって下さい！！」
But of course he’s gotta get pass IKUTO and ends up fucking up his manly speech and just goes 「む、娘さんを下さい、親分！！」 LMAO XD Turns out Ikuto knew already, he’s good with it and the entire store they’re in start wolf whistling and cheering poor Yukio on
First date, Kanade shows up super late cuz she’s a bumbling idiot and finds a completely drenched Yukio cuz he was waiting for her in the rain. He’s all hurt and shiet but brings Kanade to his room and there, she finds a mag teaching virgin dorks sex and shiet. Yukio ere confesses dat he’s actually just a stupid cherry boy who’s tryna look all チャラ and cool but really, Kanade’s his first gf
Anyway next date, Yukio gets super horny cuz he’s been holding it in for Kanade since his elementary school years and yeah Kanade’s okay with it too so cue in some adorkable virgin smexing – i know i was grinning like a lecherous perve the entire way through ;D
But den the yandere shiet stuff starts kicking in and Yukio’s like dem rabbits in mating season and wants to have a long hard fuck everyday and goes berserk whenever Kanade tries to stop it. Their grades drop, they lose sleep but Yukio’s still so horny that he does our heroine in a playground – my heart goes out to all the little children traumatised there.
A chance to stop all dis horniness shows up when Yukio’s parents’ company is going bankrupt and he’s gotta move back in with em, meaning he’s not gonna be able to see Kanade anymore. He proposes they run away together but she tells him to STFU, exercise some fucking restraint and that they’ll think about wot to do after he stops fucking her for 3 days.
He holds out but when she goes to see him, he’s on his PMS and starts flipping out and tells Kanade to go home and never come back. Kanade bitches rite back and Yukio retaliates with HITTING HER – OH NO U DIDN’T :@:@:@:@ Kanade leaves but isn’t giving up.
She comes bak dat night and Yukio screams that he loves her but can’t be with her cuz hes taking her for granted and doesn’t listen to her; he’s just a fail horny shitprick. Too right you are Yukio, but Kanade likes dat abt you so stop wangsting already and all ends well. Yukio and Kanade make up, he goes back to his parents and have they have a long distance relationship. In the end, he comes back to see her and das it.
Kanade comes back again but this time instead of screaming and wangsting, he spologises for hitting her and asks for her forgiveness and this time round, he’ll really treasure her. Kanade’s alrite cuz Yukio hits like a girl so Yukio goes ahead, calls Ikuto to “borrow Kanade for the night” and this time, they don’t FUCK, they MAKE LOVE xDxD In the end, Yukio’s gotten himself a job and they eat Christmas RAMEN cuz he’s too cheap to buy em a cake lol.
Okay this emofag has WAAAY too many bad ends, like 6 or summin so immah just do his Black end cuz who the hell wants to listen to him whine and whine and whine some more? ==;; The only one that didn’t have endless sex in it was when superman Ikuto flies in to beat the SHIT outta Ikuto for hitting his dear aneki – but dat still gave Yukio a happy end, summin he totally don’t deserve -.-**
Kanade’s unable to stop the smexing in the end and figures dat she don’t wanna either; thus continues their destructive 24/7 365 fucking.
The sensei. Dear god as the other half of this blog pointed out, WTF IS WITH HIS DERPY HAIRSTYLE?? I thought Yukio looked like a fail shredded mophead but naw man, sensei’s weirdass shroomy hair beats dat, yes this mofo does. So he’s the scary teacher that’s always lecturing Kanade or summin but surprisingly, he ain’t no rapist megane character and is actually a super gentle guy who’d rather write kiddy picture books like THE VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR!! and bake cookies like a REAL MAN than anything else.
When Kanade comes back to school after like a year or summin, she’s scared shitless when sensei’s calls her to his office but turns out he just wants to congratulate her on being able to come back. Still she’s terrified of the guy and this doesn’t sit well with Ikuto who rages at the teacher and barks at him to “STOP SCARING MAI ANEKI BEETCH”. Lol poor sensei is all “…you children all find me SCARY??? T.T” and says he’ll try to stop seeming like a rapist all the time.
And he does just dat. He’s all nice and Kanade finds that she can confide in the guy for pretty much anything. When she falls sick, he visits her place to see how she’s holding up and decides to cook porridge and spoon feed it to her. Ikuto comes in to scream at the pedo teacher but is wowed by his cooking skills and lol the whole thing turns into a cooking discussion xD
Kanade thus falls in love with sensei but thinks it’s one sided. Little does she know that Ikuto’s right and Konno really is…a pedosensei >;D He tries to cover up that he likes her but ends up getting dere dere a fair bit but just as they’re about to “warm each other up” teehee, Ikuto bursts in again to cockblock and sez dat if sensei really wants his sis, HE’D BETTER NOT MAKE HER CRY :@:@:@
Cuz he’s a teacher, they have sex in his classroom lol and after dat, Konno starts making it real obvious that there’s summin going on btwn the two of em and is always like “LET’S FUCK” but it’s okay cuz Kanade’s like how Ashe from UTM is with rape: “I’M LOVIN’ IT!”
In the end, he spreads rumours of Konno x Kanade round the school and Konno’s Hungry Caterpillar picture books get published and ppl want him to be a pro. He emos ere abt how if he does go pro dat he can’t see Kanade again and confesses that he’s terrified of being alone, betrayed, in a r/s blablabla and woteva who gives a fuck cuz u kno they’ll make up anyway and Kanade ends up graduating, Konno ditches picture books in favour of PORNO EROTICA and the two spend the rest of their lives fucking each other to their hearts’ content. Wut the…??
Bad End 1: Kanade becomes his sex slave
Bad End 2: They have sex 24/7 365
Komine & Kotoko
These two are essentially the bff of Kanade and are there to fuck things up/make things btr for her all the time. Kotoko’s this hot evil chick and Komine’s this derpy twat who has the hots for Kotoko.
And no I don’t consider this a route cuz it’s just wtf. We first get some halfassed yuri cg of Kotoko x Kanade (it’s just like random boob groping, needa take lessons from this , smelly cheese!) and that somehow goes onto a terrible orgy cg of Kanade x the dudes and then another gropey cg of Komine x Kanade. Wut I thought u liked KOTOKO wrong woman beetch!
Afterthoughts and Conclusion
^No das not cuz the yandere shiet creeped me out or anything. Far from dat. That shit sucked I’m hell disappointed. But more abt dat later.
Ikuto ftw. I loved that bastard, his siscon was too adorable. I liked Yukio too, with all his ヘタレness and constant fumbly blushiness, till they destroyed him with all dat pointless wangsting and smexing. Sensei was moe till he got creepy over nothing and i didn’t care for Tomoomi at all. Kanade was cute I rikey.
Music was decent but das it. ToriKou all the way, I don’t think i’ve ever heard him sound so pathetic playing any character but damn him playing Yukio made me realise for the eleventy thousandth time how good the man is. Kanade sounded cute normally but her ero sounds were somewot...disturbing o.O;;
I liked the art a fair bit, it was pretty consistent the whole way through but wtf for sensei’s and Yukio’s derp hair man. Thankfully Tomoomi and Kanade were pretty and so was Ikuto. Oh and now dat I think abt it, Ikuto’s hairstyle sometimes looked almost exactly like Homare’s from Starry Sky in Summer, save for the colour. And their VA’s are the same lol mb das just me? xD
Now we get to the actual meat of the game. The yandere sucked. It had me going “YOU CALL DIS YANDERE?!?” the whole way through and the way the characters went yandere over NOTHING, namely Konno sensei and Yukio just made me go wtf. Mb i shud reword dat – the yandere wasn’t RUBBISH it’s just dat I was expecting a lot more. I guess stuff like Higurashi got me used to this shiet lol.
Despite the yandere ‘fail’, i still liked this game. The characters were mostly damn adorable (till they destroyed sensei and Yukio with pointless wangsting ==) and the events were cute n fluffy too, combined with good art and voice acting but then I dunno, the yandere and the routes weren’t really enough for me. But still I’d recommend this cuz it’s a good debut game for smelly cheese and is way better than some other 18+ otome games *cough motto rapesuru oniisama cough*. Just prepared to be disappointed if u were expecting some darker, more hardcore shiet like pervert old me >;D