BL Game Review – Lucky Dog1
Release Date: 10.06.09
Official Site: http://www.tennenouji.net/product/03_luckydog1/index.html
Genre: 18+ BL, mafia, romance, violence, rape, comedy, drama, prison break XD
Plot Summary: 25 year old protagonist Gian Carlo has been in the mafia since god knows when and thus has been tossed into jail a buhmillion times and over. However, he’s a complete god when it comes to breaking outta prisons – so good, it’s his favourite past time, and he’s gotten out so many times, he’s nicknamed “Lucky Dog” for his crazy good fortune. In jail are 4 other mafia dudes with him, and he gets a letter from the boss one day and gets an impromptu promotion to boss of the gang – on the condition that he can get everyone out safe.
Yes, the protagonist is dat awesome – he needs his own special mention ere. Unlike most other porno heroes, he’s pretty damn well developed a character, possessing a PERSONALITY of his own for one thing instead of being a flat, boring woteva. Not to mention that his character is completely awesome. Totally ‘whatever’ about everything, relaxed and playful, he goes with the flow most of the time and really doesn’t give a shit about much. Also unrefined, is a heavy smoker and lacks general hygiene to the extent that even the guys tell him that he stinks like mouldy genitals, but what the heck man, hot ghetto dude. Best part about him is that, though he’s normally brimming with confidence and sure about everything, when he starts falling for one of the other guys, he realizes that he ain’t all that n gets pretty dere ;)
Guilio Di Bondone
Last in the 4 to make an appearance and not the main but fuck that, he’s cuter than the other 3. Totally brill purple hair and his ‘gangsta clothing’ looks fab. Doesn’t talk much and seems kinda detached, showing no interest in anyone but appears to have a strange attachment to Gian and acts differently around him. Of course, that’s not only why he’s awesome; he’s the most dangerous and fucked up outta the gang, enjoying killing more than anything and having a very effed necrophilia prob – show him a dead body and whilst fapping to it, he goes super saiyan yandere <3
Soon Gian finishes up plannin and his prison break scheme commences. The group meet up at night and sneak into corpse bags. Guards take em out, they pop out and scare the shit outta everyone, and Gian nicks a pimpin ride and they drive off.
The gang find some empty barn in the forest and kip there. Next day, they find out that some ex mafia dudes from their group sold em out so they take a stab at the bastard, get back in their ride and drive away. Reaching headquarters, they’re informed that the boss has disappeared, another mafia group ‘Gold Diggers Grave Digger (GD)’ wants to rape em, and till the boss shows up, Gian is to be the new boss.
Gian’s surprised that Guilio chose to share a room with him, and when they’re alone in the room, Gian straight out asks what’s with Guilio’s obsession with him. Guilio tells him “just cuz” which irritates Gian to no end and he ends up planting a nice smooch on Guilio’s lips. Gian has a “wot i be doin” moment before telling Guilio to forget that ever happened but he tells Gian that was his first kiss and that he likes him.
Following day, the two go investigate the GD after they get a tip from Guilio’s gramps but get surrounded by GD cronies. Gian tries to figure a way out of the shit but Guilio’s faster and we get a completely badass cg of him owning the GD guys’ asses – it’s as though Guilio just stood in the midst of his enemies, did a ballerina 360 pirouette, and everybodys necks started pissing blood. Gian’s wowed by Guilio’s badassness but any feelings of awe dissipate when the guy goes high and starts licking the blood of the corpses. Gian’s all wtf and they head back after picking up a piece of paper from the dead guys.
Guilio’s grandaddy, Bondone jiji is back at their HQ and orders that Guilio be placed back under his direct control. Guilio obeys without question and appears terrified of the old man. Gian suspects that Bondone jiji is connected to GD but got no evidence.
The two head out again the next morn and get attacked by some more GD goons and Guilio stabs em all to death. He starts playing with the dead bodies, and when he looks at Gian, Guilio has a giant yandere moment, pushes him to the floor and rapes him. Man, Gian was pain screaming, not orgy screaming and instead of having that dirty pleasure one gets from hot fictional BL rape, I actually felt pretty sorry for Gian as he was scared shitless the whole time. Felt sorry for Guilio too cuz he obviously didn’t want to do it to Gian, just that dead bodies turn him on too much, and he apologizes over and over again whilst raping and after the rape, telling Gian not to hate or leave him. When he’s done, Guilio’s horrified at what he’s done to Gian but the latter just suggests that they get back to HQ.
Guilio doesn’t return to the room and Gian’s unable to sleep due to nightmares of Guilio raping. Next day, Gian has a fever and Luchino tells ‘im Guilio’s out cuz of Bondone jiji’s orders. Gian brings up the fact that it’s weird how the old man knows the exactly where the GD dudes were the last two times, and some subordinates rush in and report that the GD dudes are unleashing hell on the streets, gunning down everybody.
Gian wakes up in his room and it’s dark out. Ivan comes to visit, cooking up some smelly shit for him and tells Gian that Guilio’s still out there. He tried to get him back to HQ but the guy was too busy fapping to dead bodies and totally grossed out, Ivan just ditched him. Then, Gian asks Ivan whether he was raped or not by Guilio then, and after an awkward silence, Ivan calls him a ‘dumb taco’ before leaving and tells Gian to take Guilio back cuz he’s totally ew.
Gian rushes off to find Guilio but encounters some GD dudes who proceed on to beat the shit outta him, not knowing that he’s the Lucky Dog. While kicking his balls the GD start sniggering about how the Lucky Dog and Mad Dog are a pair of dumb mutts. Gian then tells him he IS the Lucky Dog and the group start freaking out when Gian jokingly howls and barks for Mad Dog Guilio, only to really have Guilio show up, dodge all the machine gun gunfire cuz he’s that good, and mass rape the GD. He then tries to run off again after apologizing, but Gian grabs his hand and tells him to stay.
There, Gian explains that there was some ultimate plan or summin and that the boss disappeared to make Gian the next boss ie bait for the GD etc woteva bs nobody cares. Cue in kinky ice cream sex with Guilio making me ROFL when he went “WOW I DIN’T KNOW REAL SEX WAS BTR THAN MASTURBATING TO DEAD BODIES!!” XD
Bondone jiji comes knocking on the door with an army of cronies next day and takes Guilio away and the gang realize that the number Gian picked up earlier from the GD was Bondone’s jiji’s. Dat smelly old man betrayed CR:5 and was with GD. Gian then gets knocked around by some GD dudes and unleash some more shit onto him when they reveal that the CR:5 boss has sold em out and is at the mercy of GD. Guilio arrives and massacres all the GD dudes, and fights against some Bakshi guy who’s using a frikin bazooka (it sed rifle, but let’s just say bazooka cuz it makes Guilio all that more badass). Bakshi’s a cheap cunt who orders a hidden group of GD cronies to fire at Guilio, but lol, Guilio’s apparently also a fan of Bleach and shunpos from all dem bullets. Duh Guilio wins, they get the boss back who sacrificed himself to protect the gang or some lame shit and Bondone jiji runs away.
Weeks later, Gian goes to visit the church again and sees Guilio giving out Halloween candy to the orphan kids. There, he realizes that he’s met Guilio ages before after Guilio gives him the same candy some other guy did in the past and happy ending =D
lololololololololol “SODOM NO NAKAMA!!!!!”. Ah I love this guy. Totally hates Gian’s guts and resents the very notion of him becoming his boss. As Gian puts it, he’s the most annoying member of the CR:5, doesn’t know when to shut up, can’t take a joke and is the one guy in the group who’s a total homophobic dickwad – but it’s all okay, cuz those ‘negative’ qualities got me lmfaoing. He’s crazy proud and tries to dominate Gian to vent his frustrations of the latter being the next boss, but Gian always finds a way to mess around with him and make Ivan look 10 times the dumbass he is.
When they reach their HQ, Gian is forced to pair up with Ivan cuz everyone else hates him lol. Ivan’s linked to GD, used to be with them and now GD wants Ivan back which makes all the other CR5 guys goes “OH FUCK TRAITOR” but Gian defends Ivan, causing the latter to go dere by hides his embarrassment by calling Gian a “fuck up” and he goes off to confront the GD guys.
Next day, the boss’s granddaughter pops over looking for Ivan cuz she’s got some crush on him. Gian goes to get Ivan and they get some tip off or sum shiet, go to a hotel and find a couple of dead ladies and a a dead kid along with the 3 men who killed em. Gian says not to do anything rash but Ivan’s hell pissed so he whips out a gun and kills em all. The higher ups wanna turn in Ivan cuz he killed some pretty important guys back at the hotel but Gian defends him and says he would have done it if Ivan dint so there. Luchino comes in and shows em the pics of the raped killed slashed ladies and the group finally let Ivan go.
Back in the room, Ivan starts some bitching and whines about how hes useless and that he should leave but Gian says that if he really was that big of a fucktard, nobody would have defended him so just STFU. Ivan is shocked, goes dere, then suddenly gets horny, ties Gian up and molests him lol. Gians all wtf u homo bitch but Ivan chickens out halfway and Gian cant help but start goading him and calling him a ball less turkey. Obviously that works on Ivan and though he’s all “im a man i can do it ur ma bitch”, he asks whether or not Gian really wants to be raped but Gian starts laughing at him for being unmanly so *thrust* in dat penis go (Gian: Adieu, my virgin ass ~ T.T) Lol the whole time they were smexing each other up, they were going “ew omg smelly ass” and “haha where ur dick? so small cant see!” and telling each other how much the other sucked but in the end, both of them came x) Ivan closes in to kiss Gian but Gian’s like “W.T.F.ARE.YOU.DOING” and Ivan quickly catches himself and starts bitching to hide his embarrassment. Ivan then gets all insecure jealous and starts asking Gian whether he’s had sex with the other CR:5 members but Gian’s too dense to get what the guy’s tryna say and just tells him to STFU cuz he wants to go to sleep. However, Ivan still wants to know no matter wot, and finally cottoning on, Gian tells him straight out that Ivan was the first to sodomize him and before Ivan can go dere some more, Gian falls asleep.
Next day he and Ivan go out to go get Rosaline but they bump in GD again. They want an answer from Ivan and say they gonna kill him if he says no. So Ivan tells Gian to run while he holds em off but Gian instead, steps out, tells the GD to fuck off before grabbing Ivan and running. Ivan’s all pissed cuz Gian cuz have gotten shot, but Gian says he aint dead so all’s good and Ivan suddenly kisses him. Gians goes all blushy and wtf and Ivan answers its cuz they’re nakama (LIKE WTF IVAN XD)
They hide out at a hotel with some of Ivan’s subs. There, Ivan suddenly gets horny again and does Gian against a wall before GD assassins come and try to to kill em. They bust out and bomb the GD place just for kicks and then drive off in his pimpin ride.
They find out that Rosalia has run off and that GD’ll prolly target her cuz of her connection with Ivan. Ivan decides to go out to find her and the place becomes a warzone btwn CR and GD. Ivan and Gian find the head who’s taken Rosalia. Ivan demands that he let em see Rosalia but he can’t do anything when he sees her cuz the GD guys start beating the living shit outta them. The head then orders Ivan to rape Rosalia or he’s gonna kill Gian or summin. Ivan takes off his belt and for a mo, seems like he’s gonna do the poor girl in but duh he stops and whips all the bastards to death with his belt. Weeheehee Ivan =D
He then grabs Gian and runs but soon they’re cornered and with Gian too battered up to move, they’re pretty much screwed. Just as Gian thinks they’re about to get gunned down, Rosalia pops out with a machine gun and shoots dem GD bastards – sasuga yakuza no musume lol. Ivan comes up with an ‘awesome’ plan – the 3 of them dive into the sea to escape. As a diversion, he drives his pimpin ride into the GD or summin rad like that and together, the 3 plunge into the waters. When they wake up, they find themselves on a boat cuz some guy was nice enough to save em.
Alessandro comes back and the higher ups all plan to punish Ivan for being reckless and putting Rosalia in danger, but Gian manages to hobble out of bed and says that Ivan and the CR:5 are all his family, not idiot traitors and nobody’s gonna be punished. Alessandro agrees, lets it go and everyone starts flippin when Gian gets faint from his injuries. Ivan refuses to let anyone else help Gian back, and he kisses Gian on his elevator
Biggest guy in CR:5. Hrngh…what to say about this guy… His personality…what personality? Not sayin that he was completely flat and shallow and shit, but there was nothing that defined him and set him apart from other beefy dudes. And no, yakking on about how you wanna stick it in 347598347895 blonde hoes doesn’t count as a ‘defining trait’ cuz all guys wanna do that. He’s kinda…laid back, tad on arrogant side but takes good care of Gian like any mafia older brother.
Luchino flips when he sees Bakshi and he mumbles summin about his wife, Sharin, and how he was unable to do anything to save her or his daughter 2 years ago during a gang fight. Completely inebriated, he then sexes up Gian.
GD runs around spreading shit again and next day, the newspaper has stuff like “Luchino rapes daughter and kills wife” etc. Hearing this, Luchino’s goes berserk and starts raping all the GD guys on the streets and doesn’t stop till Gian slaps some sense into him.
Gian asks Bernardo about wot happened and all Bernardo knows is that, 2 years ago, there was some mafia fight, Luchino’s family got caught up in it and Luchino was unable to do anything about it. The case was dropped right after by the cops and then Alessandro disappeared as well so Luchino’s pretty pissed and goes berserk a hell lot whenever fights happen. Gian’s orphanage church then gets targeted by GD so they head out to check it out and find Bakshi who takes a liking to Gian and licks the guy.
Luchino captures some GD guys and torture the shit outta them to find the whereabouts of Bakshi. Instead, they find that GD has Alessandro and the two then go back and have shower/piss sex (Gian leaves halfway through to shonben but Luchino’s too horny and does the guy while he pisses XD).
During the night, Luchino sneaks out, intent on solving his own problems by himself, but Gian follows along and says they’re nakama so no way he’s letting him do things alone. The two then run off to wreck hell on GD headquarters, stealing police uniforms and dancing around as trigger happy madmen.
They reach the top, find Alessandro but Bakshi joins the party and owns the 3. Bakshi then proceeds on to molest Gian as Luchino watches helplessly. Just as Bakshi’s gonna take a stab at Gian with his smelly penis, Luchino gets a shounen power up, picks up his gun and shoots Bakshi but Gian’s the one who does summin useful cuz his shot actually hits Bakshi. The other CR:5 come to clear up the mess, but find that Bakshi’s body is gone.
Ending no.1: Gian takes up the place of the second boss and has the boss ceremony. With Luchino, he visits the graves of the Luchino family and there, Luchino thanks him for setting him straight and the two go off to enjoy the celebrations.
Ending no.2: Gian decides not to be the head and he and Luchino become fuck buddies.
31 and the oldest one in CR:5. Like the other members, he’s pretty damn funny and the highlight of his character was watching him interact with Gian – their flirtatious comments and “wowowowow haaaaniiii ;)” never failed to make me shit bricks laughing. Prolly the one who gets along with the protagonist the best, seeing as both are completely ‘teehee’ about everything and share a similar wavelength. Also has the highest rank within 5 (that is, until Gian become aniki).
Bernardo goes over to negotiate peace talks with the GD cuz he has an old friend called Dave. Bernardo refuses to tell Gian about his friend and that night, Gian finds the guy flipping out when the electricity gets cut off cuz Bernardo is terrified of the dark. Gian trips on the phone wires, causing Bernardo’s phone call to be cut off and somehow, this triggers this whole huge business mafia crap with NY and London which benefits the CR:5 geatly.
They go to a bar to celebrate earning like 500k, and they meet a hoe who’s an old friend of Bernardo. Dave then shows up and he’s been harassing the hoe and he has a chat with Bernardo. Dave wants to join groups with CR5 to do the peace thing but Gian tells him to fuck off. Bernardo then gets piss drunk and rambles on about how if Gian was a woman, he’d have lots of babies with him. The two stumble drunk to an alley where Bernardo yaks on about how Dave kept saving him from being killed, which is why he can’t reject his requests and shit outrite. He then says that when he was flippin out in the dark, Gian was the one who pulled him out and saved him, and after saying that he can’t hold back anymore (cuz he’s liked Gian from way back), he pushes Gian to the wall and rapes him.
The hoe, Ani or summin, keeps coming to Bernardo and they’ve gone out before and haven’t officially ended shit yet. Gian tells Bernardo to hurry up and make up with the woman cuz if he doesn’t, he won’t have another opportunity to ‘make kids’. Bernardo says it’s got nothing to do with lol shit like dat and almost confesses to Gian, but stops and leaves.
Next morn, Bernardo’s disappeared and GD’s blowing shit up again. Gian hops over to Bernardo’s room and finds a letter addressed to him. It says that Bernardo’s gonna settle things with Dave for once, and if he doesn’t make it back. he’s to take the money he left him and run. Bernardo apologises for not realising earlier and tells Gian he loves him.
Gian runs out to find Bernardo but instead, finds Alessandro. The two go bust out Bernardo who’s been captured by GD but need Ivan to show up and gun down everyone. They return back and for once, Bernardo turns off the lights and says it’s cuz Gian is with him that the dark ain’t so bad anymore. While he was captured and being tortured, he says all he thought about was Gian and sexy time then. He tells Gian he’s gonna go off again to conclude the peace talks with GD the next morn.
Alessandro explains why he was gone and frankly, I don’t give a shit so all we have to know was that he was acting as a good boss blablabla. Bernardo takes forever to come back from the negotiations and Dave starts wrecking hell and says shit like the guy won’t come back and that they’re done here but Bernardo comes back, reveals that he’s taped Dave being a traitor and fucking things up etc and all ends well.
The gang go out the celebrate but Gian notices that Bernardo ain’t with them. He goes back and sees Bernardo standing, emo in the rain, a bouqet or roses in one hand. He’s sorry that Ani had to be dragged into all this mafia shit but Gian says it’s alright and tells him to leave his past and come.
The two dance around the rain like idiots while laughing and Bernardo says he ain’t gonna wander around, lost and stupid again anymore like he did before and he’s gonna let loose and have a blast with Gian
The two reach the harbour and Gian sees some bridge thing that was there ages ago where he used to faff around with Bernardo there. He charges over, hopes down and the two walk the bridge thing like happy idiots, Bernardo screaming that he loves Gian a buhmillion times and over, and all ends well.
Afterthoughts and Conclusion
GIAN IS MY NEW GOD. Hands down the funniest, most lovable BL protagonist I’ve played so far – even in character polls he’s the most popular in Lucky Dog1 so I know it ain’t just me. He seriously is so chill and really knows how to crack some shit silly jokes but at the same time, knows when he’s gotta be serious and be mafia. That aside, all the charas were awesome cept for Luchino. I didn’t hate him, but I didn’t like him either – he was pretty boring.
OP was pretty good and the soundtrack worked well. I was pretty weirded out by Gian’s voice at first cuz it sounded so un uke and had a really funny uh ‘twang’ to it I guess but it fit and grew on me. Guilio had a cool transition from cool monotone killer to meek ‘Gian lover’ and Ivan – “SHIT FUCK SHIT SHIT!!! HOMO YAROU!!!!” <– screaming voice lmfao.
Art of course, was awesome. It’s Yura (ok Enzai was like o.O;; but woteva).
Story was ok, mafia shitz always awesome but I didn’t get all the plot stuff and had to use my imagination a lot to piece things together ie half the shit is prolly wrong. I didn’t play all the bad ends cuz they were just Gian getting raped or summin by the GD and the CR:5 members dying and shiet.
Totally exceeded ma expectations cuz I was expecting a Miracle Noton like game, PWP and smutty but it wasn’t overly porny and actually had some substance to it. Really great game in my POV anyway, especially cuz of Gian and Guilio =D