Otome Game Review – Diabolik Wifebeaters
Release Date: 11.10.12
Official Site: WIFEBEATING
Genre: Wifebeating Without Plot, dumb heroine, I did this for my readers
Plot Review Summary:
YES I PROMISED I WOULD FINISH THIS.
AND NO. I DID NOT LIKE THIS GAME AT ALL.
Yeah so the general gist of things is heroine Chichinashi Bitch-chan gets abandoned by her dad and chucked into the den of 6 wifebeating vampire boys. Instead of nope-ing the fuck out of there, she’s all “I CHOOSE MY WIFEBEATER <3<3” omfg why u dumb bitch
The oresama douchebag. He’s the one who graced our shit-for-brains-heroine with the name “CHICHINASHI” and acts like the little asshole preschooler picking on the kid with down’s syndrome. He sucks Chichinashi until she’s dry, treats her like shit and in one event, dripped molten wax all over her cuz it’s funny. I don’t know why anyone would buy this game rofl
This is srsly such a brainless game: Ayato’s route basically resolves around him sucking Chichinashi dry and treating her like shit all day long. Chichinashi doesn’t fight back cuz she’s a dumb fuck and is obviously an M
One time, she scrapes herself in PE class and bumps into Ayato in the nurse’s office. Ayato totally flips and here I am, thinking “Oh so he does care about her” but no he just goes on about how her blood is precious and how only he can spill her blood and that gets him all turned on so he starts tongue-raping Chichinashi’s knee. Chichinashi giggles to herself about how d’aaaw Ayato so cute trying to mask his worry for her but obviously that’s just her being self important and we all know that Chichinashi is just fodder to Ayato. Stupid hoe.
Another time. Ayato ties chichinashi a dartsboard and starts chucking darts at her for fun. He suddenly gets horny and decides to suck blood from her lips and after that, Chichinashi gets all self conscious cuz that was her first kiss. Yeah she knows it was only “feeding time” to Ayato but she’s dumb and still feels sth and ends up avoiding Ayato. Ayato’s annoyed as fuck but quickly works out why Chichinashi’s being weird and decides to start making out with her and then demands sex cuz he wants to take away all her first times or sth wtf lol.
And hey, what d’ya know, we get some lame Freudian excuse to justify his douchebaggy behaviour! When Ayato was a kid, his big hoe of a mom would lock him up and make him study 24/7 and would bitchslap the shit out of him when he didn’t. She had some obsession with making Ayato number one and better than all the other kids cuz she didn’t want to lose to the other wives or sth I guess. She would shove Ayato’s head into the garden fountain and drown him if he was bad and shit. Oh boohoo cuz
ily tennant <3
Ayato steadily gets more jealous and possessive, threatening to strangle Chichinashi when he saw her hanging with one of his bros and shoving her into a deep lake and almost letting her drown cuz she was paying more attention to the stars than to him LOL OKAY SO SORRY.
that she ends up becoming severely anaemic for the next couple of days
Ayato has the uh grace to hold off on biting Chichinashi for the next couple of days, sth that gets Chichinashi all ‘OMG HE SO NICE HE CARES ABT ME” lol wtf wtf wtf STAHP U DUMB HOE. He then gets horny, bites her and is like “WTF U TASTE THE SAME AS MY MOM” –
WTF WHY WUD U DO SEXY VAMPIRE BLOOD SUCKING TIMEZ WITH YOUR MOM JESUS CHRIST U SICK SICK CHILD WAT HAPPENED TO YOU>??? So turns out Ayato had some fucked up r/s with his mom like:
or some shit. why the fuck am i still playing this shit?
Anyway, one day Ayato’s creepy ossan pops up one day, and this REHEATER guy (rofl i swear that’s his name) starts coming onto Chichinashi, calling her “OH MY CORDELIA” and tries to do her underaged skinny ass. Ayato gets jealous and ofc, who does he take it out on? CHICHINASHI!!! Everytime he gets jealous, he does some crazy shit and whips out a knife, starts cutting her or shoves it into her mouth and tells her to tongue it or some shit like that just wtf i don’t even-
Reheater shows up againand this time, Ayato and him have a showdown. Reheater tells him that after Ayato killed Cordelia and feasted on her blood like some sicko incest loving freak, he took Cordelia’s heart and uh…shoved it into Chichinashi LOL WTF THIS GAME IS STUPID AS FUCK LOOPHOLES EVERYWHERE:
– HOW DID REHEATER KEEP THE HEART FRESH LONG ENOUGH FOR A TRANSPLANT
– WAS THERE EVEN A TRANSPLANT? THIS REHEATER GUY LOOKS RETARDED I DOUBT HE’S A SURGEON DOES HE EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A PHONE TO CALL AMBULANCE
– WTF WAS CHICHINASHI DOING AT THE SCENE – WAS SHE EVEN AT THE SCENE
– WHAT HAPPENED TO HER ORIGINAL HEART
– HOW DOES THAT MAGICALLY MAKE HER “CORDELIA”
– HOW DOES CHICHINASHI NOT RMB STH AS TRAUMATISING AS A VAMPIRE RIPPING HER OPEN AND SHOVING A HEART INTO YOU? I KNOW SHE’S DUMB BUT C’MON
– WHY THE FUCK AM I STILL PLAYING THIS SHIT
OKAY I GET IT, suspension of belief it’s a game blablabla they’re op vampires BUT STILL CMON.
Ayato gets super excited hearing this cuz Cordelia was like half demon or some shit and drinking demon blood makes u cray powerful so (oh yeah THAT’S your excuse for drinking yo hot mama’s blood?) Ayato beats the shit outta Reheater and then becomes the most powerful vampire by using Chichinashi.
uwaaa this soooo romantic I just dont omg whatever im ready for my next wifebeater
NO I DON’T FUCKING CARE IF IT’S LAITO THAT’S FUCKING RETARDED AND MAKES ME THINK OF 0% MILK
I was gna do Kanato next but that little boy is fucking creepy and I chickened out so here I am, doing Hirarin because his “Bitch chan” is adorable and I love Hirarin like who doesn’t. Light is the flirty fun guy who teases Chichinashi all day long and seems like a nice guy but then this is called Diabolik Wifebeaters for a reason so Light’s a sick fuck too but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy his route considerably more than psycho Ayato. Hirarin makes everything better <3 Light shares the same mom as Ayato (Cordelia)
Unlike Ayato, Light takes his time with Chichinashi and doesn’t rip apart her neck the minute he’s with her and instead, just teases her and bullies her all day long (idk how that’s any btr rofl).
I guess the way Light does it is way sexier than the way Ayato does it lol
I mean look! It’s Hirarin! *swooooons*
but yeah Light’s a Diabolik Wifebeater too so later on he starts chomping down on Bitch-chan too and turns out he had a giant thing for his own mom like Ayato too. Their dad caught the two of em having sex or some shit so had Light locked up and big slut Cordelia brings Reheater with her to show Light some NTR porn show
…but Light just ended up watching like this and got even more turned on
Later on, Reheater comes to cockblock so Light quickly uses some magic to hide Chichinashi. Reheater asks what’s that familiar smell but Light lies and tells Reheater that it’s just a dead rat. Reheater buys it and leaves after saying something about that girl being sacrifice for the vampires and shit.
Chichinashi is confused and Light reveals that her dad used to be a super pro vampire hunter until he went retarded and had Chichinashi as a daughter. Scared that Chichinashi would be targeted, her dad stopped vampire hunting but then got sick of taking care of her dumb ass so gave her up as a sacrifice to the vampires LOL idk i wasn’t paying attention
HEY GUESS WHAT? WE GET A NONRAPEY SCENE! Bitch-chan finds Light sleeping in her bed so scuttles off to kip somewhere else but Light pulls her down and shit. Instead of instaraping her or sth, he just proposes that they slepp together which gets Bitch-chan all “UWAAA THIS IS FIRST TIME WE SLEEP TOGETHER <3” so Light starts professing his love for her and tells her to cmon, feel up his chest to see how fast his heart is beating.
…and then he starts moaning abt how good it feels and how vampires don’t have a heartbeat UHEUEHUEHUEHUE and Bitch-chan has an epiphany like “OH YA I DON’T CARE ANYMORE I’M HORNY LETS FUCK”. I shudve known rofl
so yeah idk man this becomes some kinda weird porn show afterwards where Bitch-chan is always hornyy , becoming some crazy jealous girl when she hears that she wasnt the only hamatome. Cordelia then awakens inside her and tells her that when she died like 16 years ago or sth, chichinashi had also just conveniently died so Reheater put Cordelia’s heart inside her… Okay…
Anyway chichinashi has finally become vampire enough and soon Cordelia will take over and ride chichinashi like how lucifer rode poor Sam in Supernatural
Light tells chichinashi that Cordelia was the daughter of some 大魔王 and that her hubby is king vampire some shit. Anyway she was a huge アバズレ who liked to sexually prey on her children till Ayato went nuts and tried Cordelia ran to Light for help but he gets all horny seeing Cordelia xovered in blood so decides to shove her off the balcony cuz she’s uh “too beautiful” and he “loves her too much” rofl holy shit these kids really need a shrink
Chichinashi is like “wt the diu” but decides shr rly dgaf anymore so she tells Light that she loves him and that she’ll never like Cordelia take her. Lights like “ok sure”, he ends up killing his dad to become king vamp and promises to love chichinashi for life
The creepy little fucker who looks like he cakes on eyeshadow under his eyes in a horrific attempt to emulate Avril Lavigne and Taylor Momsen. Needless to say, I found him to be super キモイ and noped right outta there when I saw him. However, fate is cruel and I am unable to say no to the requests of my dear readers so here I am, trying not to shit myself as this creepy fuck does things that no 12 year old should know how to do to dumb shit chichinashi (K STFU FLAMERS I KNOW HE’S *17*)
I mean even his siblings are like ‘OH YO SHIT’S GOING DOWNNNNNNNNNNNN” when Chichinashi chooses Kanato! At first I thought he was alright – unlike Ayato and Light, Kanato’s like “leave me alone chichinashi” instead of jumping on her but then…
…HE STARTS SCREAMING.
LIKE. EVERY. 2 MINUTES.
WT THE FLYING FUCKS???
Have I ever told you guys that apart from hating flakey playboy types with mommy issues and “DARK PASTS OMGAD IT HURTTSSS”, I also loathe bratty kids. Other kids I adore but not bloody bratty kids.
So needless to say, I did NOT enjoy Kanato and had to listen to him bitch and scream and cry about everything like when Chichinashi beats him at chess, when she uh “lies” to him and when she goes somewhere “WITHOUT MY PERMISSION OMGGGG”. There was some shit about how Cordelia used to have sex in front of Kanato 24/7 so that left him fucked up and when she died, he took her ashes and stuffed em inside his teddy bear. Everytime, Kanato would start blubbering about how women are all Satan’s concubines and how Chichinashi is going to leave him like everyone and how his life sucks.
Yeah well idgaf lol
Ofc, Chihinashi takes pity on Kanato and ends up being unable to leave the little brat. Kanato takes it that she means she wants to stay with him forever so makes her drink his blood and perves on her all day long
I got sick of doing the M choices so I just did the S ones (which aren’t S at all, just reponses that a NORMAL PERSON WITH ANY SHRED OF DIGNITY WOULD GIVE) and so I got this even more retarded ending where Chichinashi becomes the biggest hoe around, sleeps around with ALL THE DIABOLIK WIFEBEATERS cuz she’s “ronery” when Kanato’s not around. When Kanato finds out, he goes batshit and when Chichinashi’s like “I SWEAR I DID IT CUZ I RONERY”, Kanato gets her to prove her love by killing all the brothers LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL so she does and they fuck happily ever after.
Ofc, a wifebeater game wouldn’t be complete without the kichiku rapist so we are graced with the godunholy presence of this twat. Oddly enough, he’s actually been present in other routes to give Chichinashi advice – how helpful he is is a completely different matter though and he’s obv doing it for shits and giggles. Anyway, he’s the mama of the house, in charge of the chores and shares a mother with Subaru and Shuu.
Funnily enough, I get the feeling I’ll like this guy – I’ve never been particularly partial to kichiku rapists but I’ve never hated them that much either. Reiji seems like he’ll be consistent, non-whiny and it helps that he’s the least popular of the brothers according to the otomate poll…
AND….so far I’m totally wrong about prolly liking him cuz this guy is fuck boring. The other guys so far have all either made me roflcopter, annoyed or just straight up dumbfounded but Reiji fails to elict any sort of strong emotion in me other than plain boredom and apathy
For the first part of the story, Reiji’s just like some sterotypical verbally abusive asian mother who bitches about everything but takes the time out to tutor her and clean up her manners. He gets all mad when she talks to Shuu though and later on ends up biting her after he tells her that he hired chichinashi’s dad to kill his mama beatrice
Chichinashi discovers that Reiji is trying to make a medicine that can revive the death, and when Reiji catches her reading his notes, he flips shit and tries to kill her. Cordelia though, awakens briefly and lends Chichinashi her strength, allowing our dumb heroine to live another day.
Reiji feels like shit when he sees how terrified Chichinashi is so patches her up or some shit i dont even rmb lol but anyway he gets all nice and stuff, making Chichinashi go dokidoki but then shit happens and suddenly Reheater appears and Cordelia takes over.
We get some flashback of Cordelia’s, where Reheater is the little brother of her wife and how the two were fighting over her in the beginning. Cordelia chose Reheater’s bro in the end, KAAAAAARU, but KAAAAAARU just married Cordelia cuz she’s the daughter of great honourable maou. KAAAAAARU doesn’t pay any attention to her though so big slut Cordelia sleeps around and soon has an affair with Reheater. Ayato goes nuts and tries to kill her one night so she gets Reheater to carve out her heart and put it into random dead bb chichinashi so she can come back to life later on. To avoid KAAAAAARU suspecting anything though (he’d want Cordelia back cuz she’s still got magic maou blood), Reheater has to pass off orphan bb chichinashi to sone random vampire hunter. I don’t even know anymore like why did chichinashi’s vampire hunter foster dad not just kill her of some shit so I’ll just assume this was part of Cordelia’s magic too
Now that Chichinashi has finally awakened, Cordelia takes over permanently and basically fucks around with Reiji for the next couple days
Cordelia’s a real bitch and basically destroys all of Reiji’s research and annoys him all day long. Reiji’s pretty cordial st first like he usually is but is actually shitting himself and desperately wants chichinashi back… Cuz somewhere sometime where I was not paying attention or sth, he had magically fallen in love with her rofl
One night Cordelia decides to go for a swim but chichinashi can’t swim so she ends up almost drowning and Reiji saves her. This temporarily knocks Cordelia out so chichinashi takes control again where the two have some snuggly time, where Reiji tells chichinashi that he freaked out abt Cordelia destroying his research not because he was making that resurrection shit but bc he was trying to make a medicine that wud force cordelia out of chichinashi
Cordelia takes over again but finally. Reiji tricks Cordelia into ingesting some of the meds but because I chose alk the S choices, I get a non happily ever after ending where Cordelia fuses with Chichinashi so chichinashi becomes some two faced bipolar hoe and enslaves poor Reiji with her irresistible maou yum yum blood
One of the only two guys who I was actually interested in before I found out the premise of this game lol. Shuu a lazy fuck who’s always bunking class, sleeping and living in his own little world with earphones fucking fused to his ear canals. Unlike the other bros, he has no inte4est in chichinashi and finds it a real bother when she chooses him. Lol i think I’m actually gonna like this guy. Bonus points bc he’s torikou
When chichinashi finds out that shuus bunking all the time, she gets all naggy and shit and tries to get Shuu to get his ass to class. Turns out shuts a giant flirt lol and tells him he will but only if chichinashi gives him a kiss. Who would’ve guessed lol
Chichinashi does but still, there isn’t uh cvo btwn the two of them. She walks in on Shuu napping fully clothed in a full bah rofl and tries to get him to gtfo so she can bathe but shuu gets all “Uhuebuehuehuehuehue u perve u jus wanted to me my naked man nipple”
rofl wtf shuu
Curious as to wt Shuus always listening to, Chichinashi asks what the music is. Turns out to be the moanings of some woman loooool and Shuu compares the moans to classical music
So Shuu continues to be a complete tease and whenever Chichinashi nags him about being a lazy fuck, he tells her to sth naughty in exchange lol. He ends up pinning her down a couple of times for shits and giggles but always ends up stopping…unlike his other siblings rofl
Shuu finally bites her in front of all his other brothers but nothing really changes and we get a little flashback showing that he was the lonely rich kid, always getting nagged at and shit cuz he’s the heir blablabla so one day he ran off, bumped into a human kid called EDGAR and they became besties. Reiji doesn’t like how Shuu is tainting the family name by sodomising humans so he sets fire to Edgar and kills everyone trolololol wow wt a fuck rofl
After that, Shuu gets more touchy feely, biting Chichinashi whenever and gets her to do even more naughty things like licking his wounds and doign some striptease for him and she ends up becoming his happy bitch
Subaru’s a violent grouchy shit who’s basically a sexier version of Ayato but has some traumatic past or some shit oh boohoo no one cares
We find out that he didn’t have some incestuous thing with his mom and that his mom was raped by his dad or sth, forced into marriage and then she spent the rest of her life being cray and angry and nutty and begging for Subaru to kill her. Finally Subaru does one day to free her and that’s why he always acts like an angry dragon
it’s okay though cuz chichinashi tells him he’s beautiful and slowly eases that XXLL purple dildo out his ass so he gives her a kiss and tells her to wait while he goes and finishes up his shit with his rapist dad
Subaru’s not strong enough to take down his pops though so he ends up fleeing with chichinashi who has decided by now that she’s so in love with Subaru that she wants to do everything that can help him defeat his pops so she tells him to power up on her blood and that she’s his forever cow fodder.
I….I just can’t. This shit’s too romantic for me /s
Afterthoughts and Conclusions
I know a fair number of people enjoyed this game and found the guys super moe or some shit. I guess I’m not otome enough to see the appeal or sth.
I don’t think of myself as particularly funny or anything – I think I really only have one good trait and that is that I’m generally a pretty laidback person. Just going with the flow, taking things as is and being able to laugh about things.
I just couldn’t do this with this game. I didn’t have the usual sense of “LOLOLOLOL DIS SO BAD IT FUNNY HEUHEUHUHEHUHUE”. Maybe the weight of uni and work are killing my sense of humour but this game just rubbed me the wrong way. My brows were either furrowed or had disappeared into my hairline and several times, my left eye had lapsed into twitching fits
Something like this I guess ^
I just couldn’t see why anyone would buy/play this game unless they were lured into it like me, thinking that it’d just be an otome game with vampires and pretty art. The heroine was so fucking stupid and all the guys were bloody wifebeaters. It wasn’t even “sexy wifebeating” or anything, it was just degrading and stupid as fuck. Otomate tried to give the boys depth by inserting boohoo so sad pasts and show that they were poor damaged souls and were secretly caring in their own sick way but just no. The way they split the choices into M and S made no sense at all either: the S choices were just responses that a normal victim in chichinashi’s situation would choose!
I’M SORRY IF STANDING UP FOR MYSELF MAKES ME A SADIST.
I do have a character that I ended up liking though: Cordelia. She had a nice rack and her bitchiness did get a derisive chuckle out of me a few times. Least she was CONSISTENT. And Shuu was alright, wasn’t super violent or anything and Light made me lol pretty hard most the time. I absolutely despised Kanato and Ayato. I don’t know why Japan has this obsession with whiny shota but I’ll say it again: fuck bratty kids especially those who raid their mom’s makeup and smear black shit under their eyes in an attempt to look edgy and misunderstood
The plot was also complete rubbish and I guess I shouldn’t be expecting plot from a game as brainless as this but AT LEAST THEY COULD HAVE TRIED. What is all this tosh about putting Cordelia’s heart into Chichinashi? Shit wasn’t even consistent; Reheater showed up only when he felt like it, we don’t get any backstory for the douchebag vampire dad or Chichinashi’s dad, and similarly, Cordelia awakened whenever she felt like it. I guess she and Reheater are a match made in vampire heaven or some shit.
Alright to be fair, I didn’t play all the routes and only went for one end for each guy and didn’t play the uh “best end” for all of em. I was so sick of choosing doormat responses that I didn’t care anymore.
And I’ll admit: the art was fab. I loved the pastelly colours and the character designs (CEPT FOR FUCKING KANATO) and I hope Ozmafia won’t be as shitty as this game. The music was aite but I was too busy wtfing to appreciate it.I understand (or at least I think) that this game was supposed to have a ridiculous premise and wasn’t supposed to be taken seriously or anything. I was the ignorant idiot who didn’t do prior research and walked in expecting some marginally entertaining angsty Twilight shit.
TL;DR I just expected this game to at least be able to make me laugh at how ludicrous it was but it just ended up weirding me out more than anything.
On a sidenote, I apologise for the lack of updates; life has been a horribly clingy girlfriend and for some god unfathomable reason, I decided to take summer classes. Fuck me right? Sandeian, come back I can’t do this alone T.T On the bright side, I have still been gaming rather halfheartedly on the side and have stuck my gigantic rainbow dick into Princess Arthur, BWS, Taisho Mebiusline and Norn9. Ofc, whether I finish these games, and when I do are a completely different matter lol qq
So it seems I have hurt some poor otome hearts with my usual shitty writing and it seems I haven’t been clear enough; I apologise.
My problem with this game, ultimately, is that it is poorly executed and attempts to be deeper than it really is. It showcases all the guys as wifebeating assholes (with the exception of Shuu for the most part and perhaps Subaru) and then gives some crappy Freudian excuses as to why they’re so twisted. Crappy parenting is now supposed to clear their names because actually, it’s not really their fault for being dickfucks and they’re really just traumatised poor souls that we’re supposed to coo over and love.
How I see it though, is how are we supposed to sympathise with characters who have been portrayed as violent brutes the entire time? By this point, I could only see these guys as giant pricks and a sudden revelation that they had horrible pasts certainly doesn’t magically make me fall in love with them. Slipping in a quick “oh yeah he’s a twat cuz his mom was one” only provides a halfassed explanation that in no way, justifies the actions of the boys – it doesn’t make stuff like drowning Chichinashi or basically raping her OK.
OH RIGHT DO YOU KNOW WHAT DISGUSTING PHENOMENA IN SOCIETY TODAY THAT THIS GAME BEARS SIMILARITY TO?
FUCKING RAPE CULTURE.
Nor could I feel anything for the plight of Subaru’s mother because all the exposure she gets is from Subaru’s memories and she’s always shown as some hysteric Ophelia,screaming. We never got to know her personally and the same goes for all the parents. It’s basically douchebag dad, hoebag Cordelia, dead Beatrice, victim Christa.
It is in the same vein as if a serial murderer was found to have grown up sick in the head because of a bad childhood: sure it gives some insight into his/her background but the verdict will surely be the same and he/she will still be found guilty. Obviously I can’t compare a fantasy 2D game with real life cases but I just wanted to get across that explanation =/= justification. These boys make it their goal to shit on Chichinashi 24/7 and by the end of the game, how I interpret it is, she is broken and has resigned herself to living with the abuse for the rest of her life. There is no divine retribution or anything of the sort as the boys end up being Karma Houdinis and get Chichinashi as their eternal punchbag plaything. UGUUUU THIS IS SO ROMANTIC OMG yeah no wtf.
In short, crappy writing is crappy writing.
Otomate clearly did not put any effort into anything but the art, voices and maximising the douchebaggery of the characters. And you know what? Those aren’t supposed to be the main selling points of a game. The 2 biggest things are clearly supposed to be the likableness of the characters and the execution of the story. I don’t think I’m being anal or taking this game too seriously – I understand that Diabolik Wifebeaters is supposed to be (or at least it seems like to me) for shits and giggles and that the voices are the selling point but that doesn’t mean I have to like the game. I just did what I usually did, mind my own fucking business and write some highass shitty review about what I thought but then some people just had to go blow shit out of proportion, take me seriously and rage about my shit. What the fuck man. I’m just putting this here so no one wastes their time bitching again for attention or sth idk cuz HO-LEE SHIIIIIIIET I WRITE SHIT GET OVER IT. I didn’t like the game, some other people didn’t either, and some others did. Good for everyone then, to each his own, leave me alone, smoke a joint, love and peace <3