Otome Game Review – Diabolik Wifebeaters


3010-Diabolik_Lovers_JPN_PSP-PLAYASiA1Alternative Titles: DIABOLIK LOVERS – Haunted Dark Bridal –

Company: Otomate

Release Date: 11.10.12

Official Site: WIFEBEATING

Platform: PSP

Genre: Wifebeating Without Plot, dumb heroine, I did this for my readers

Plot  Review Summary:

YES I PROMISED I WOULD FINISH THIS.

AND NO.  I DID NOT LIKE THIS GAME AT ALL.

Yeah so the general gist of things is heroine Chichinashi Bitch-chan gets abandoned by her dad and chucked into the den of 6 wifebeating vampire boys.  Instead of nope-ing the fuck out of there, she’s all “I CHOOSE MY WIFEBEATER <3<3” omfg why u dumb bitch

Ayato

3110The oresama douchebag. He’s the one who graced our shit-for-brains-heroine with the name “CHICHINASHI” and acts like the little asshole preschooler picking on the kid with down’s syndrome.  He sucks Chichinashi until she’s dry, treats her like shit and in one event, dripped molten wax all over her cuz it’s funny.  I don’t know why anyone would buy this game rofl

3011This is srsly such a brainless game: Ayato’s route basically resolves around him sucking Chichinashi dry and treating her like shit  all day long.  Chichinashi doesn’t fight back cuz she’s a dumb fuck and is obviously an M

3020One time, she scrapes herself in PE class and bumps into Ayato in the nurse’s office.  Ayato totally flips and here I am, thinking “Oh so he does care about her” but no he just goes on about how her blood is precious and how only he can spill her blood and that gets him all turned on so he starts tongue-raping Chichinashi’s knee.  Chichinashi giggles to herself about how d’aaaw Ayato so cute trying to mask his worry for her but obviously that’s just her being self important and we all know that Chichinashi is just fodder to Ayato.  Stupid hoe.

3030Another time. Ayato ties chichinashi a dartsboard and starts chucking darts at her for fun.  He suddenly gets horny and decides to suck blood from her lips and after that, Chichinashi gets all self conscious cuz that was her first kiss.  Yeah she knows it was only “feeding time” to Ayato but she’s dumb and still feels sth and ends up avoiding Ayato.  Ayato’s annoyed as fuck but quickly works out why Chichinashi’s being weird and decides to start making out with her and then demands sex cuz he wants to take away all her first times or sth wtf lol.

And hey, what d’ya know, we get some lame Freudian excuse to justify his douchebaggy behaviour!  When Ayato was a kid, his big hoe of a mom would lock him up and make him study 24/7 and would bitchslap the shit out of him when he didn’t.  She had some obsession with making Ayato number one and better than all the other kids cuz she didn’t want to lose to the other wives or sth I guess.  She would shove Ayato’s head into the garden fountain and drown him if he was bad and shit.  Oh boohoo cuz

ily tennant <3

3080Ayato steadily gets more jealous and possessive, threatening to strangle Chichinashi when he saw her hanging with one of his bros and shoving her into a deep lake and almost letting her drown cuz she was paying more attention to the stars than to him LOL OKAY SO SORRY.

3100Jesus this is really like domestic abuse am I supposed to be getting off on this???  He then decides to make her into  A REAL WOMAN so he bangs her and drains so much of her blood like this

GLpOc

that she ends up becoming severely anaemic for the next couple of days

3091Ayato has the uh grace to hold off on biting Chichinashi for the next couple of days, sth that gets Chichinashi all ‘OMG HE SO NICE HE CARES ABT ME” lol wtf wtf wtf STAHP U DUMB HOE.  He then gets horny, bites her and is like “WTF U TASTE THE SAME AS MY MOM” –

WTF WHY WUD U DO SEXY VAMPIRE BLOOD SUCKING TIMEZ WITH YOUR MOM JESUS CHRIST U SICK SICK CHILD WAT HAPPENED TO YOU>???  So turns out Ayato had some fucked up r/s with his mom like:

919222-oedipus

or some shit.  why the fuck am i still playing this shit?

3061Anyway, one day Ayato’s creepy ossan pops up one day, and this REHEATER  guy (rofl i swear that’s his name) starts coming onto Chichinashi, calling her “OH MY CORDELIA” and tries to do her underaged skinny ass.  Ayato gets  jealous and ofc, who does he take it out on?  CHICHINASHI!!!  Everytime he gets jealous, he does some crazy shit and whips out a knife, starts cutting her or shoves it into her mouth and tells her to tongue it or some shit like that just wtf i don’t even-

Reheater shows up againand this time, Ayato and him have a showdown.  Reheater tells him that after Ayato killed Cordelia and feasted on her blood like some sicko incest loving freak, he took Cordelia’s heart and uh…shoved it into Chichinashi LOL WTF THIS GAME IS STUPID AS FUCK LOOPHOLES EVERYWHERE:

– HOW DID REHEATER KEEP THE HEART FRESH LONG ENOUGH FOR A TRANSPLANT

– WAS THERE EVEN A TRANSPLANT?  THIS REHEATER GUY LOOKS RETARDED I DOUBT HE’S A SURGEON DOES HE EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A PHONE TO CALL AMBULANCE

– WTF WAS CHICHINASHI DOING AT THE SCENE – WAS SHE EVEN AT THE SCENE

– WHAT HAPPENED TO HER ORIGINAL HEART

– HOW DOES THAT MAGICALLY MAKE HER “CORDELIA”

– HOW DOES CHICHINASHI NOT RMB STH AS TRAUMATISING AS A VAMPIRE RIPPING HER OPEN AND SHOVING A HEART INTO YOU?  I KNOW SHE’S DUMB BUT C’MON

– WHY THE FUCK AM I STILL PLAYING THIS SHIT

OKAY I GET IT, suspension of belief it’s a game blablabla they’re op vampires BUT STILL CMON.

3120Ayato gets super excited hearing this cuz Cordelia was like half demon or some shit and drinking demon blood makes u cray powerful so (oh yeah THAT’S your excuse for drinking yo hot mama’s blood?) Ayato beats the shit outta Reheater and then becomes the most powerful vampire by using Chichinashi.

uwaaa this soooo romantic I just dont omg whatever im ready for my next wifebeater

Light

NO I DON’T FUCKING CARE IF IT’S LAITO THAT’S FUCKING RETARDED AND MAKES ME THINK OF 0% MILK

5100I was gna do Kanato next but that little boy is fucking creepy and I chickened out so here I am, doing Hirarin because his “Bitch chan” is adorable and I love Hirarin like who doesn’t.  Light is the flirty fun guy who teases Chichinashi all day long and seems like a nice guy but then this is called Diabolik Wifebeaters for a reason so Light’s a sick fuck too but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy his route considerably more than psycho Ayato.  Hirarin makes everything better <3  Light shares the same mom as Ayato (Cordelia)

Unlike Ayato, Light takes his time with Chichinashi and doesn’t rip apart her neck the minute he’s with her and instead, just teases her and bullies her all day long (idk how that’s any btr rofl).

5010I guess the way Light does it is way sexier than the way Ayato does it lol

I mean look!  It’s Hirarin! *swooooons*

5021but yeah Light’s a Diabolik Wifebeater too so later on he starts chomping down on Bitch-chan too and turns out he had a giant thing for his own mom like Ayato too.  Their dad caught the two of em having sex or some shit so had Light locked up and big slut Cordelia brings Reheater with her to show Light some NTR porn show

gDRka

…but Light just ended up watching like this and got even more turned on

Later on, Reheater comes to cockblock so Light quickly uses some magic to hide Chichinashi.  Reheater asks what’s that familiar smell but Light lies and tells Reheater that it’s just a dead rat.  Reheater buys it and leaves after saying something about that girl being sacrifice for the vampires and shit.

Chichinashi is confused and Light reveals that her dad used to be a super pro vampire hunter until he went retarded and had Chichinashi as a daughter.  Scared that Chichinashi would be targeted, her dad stopped vampire hunting but then got sick of taking care of her dumb ass so gave her up as a sacrifice to the vampires LOL idk i wasn’t paying attention

5082HEY GUESS WHAT? WE GET A NONRAPEY SCENE!  Bitch-chan finds Light sleeping in her bed so scuttles off to kip somewhere else but Light pulls her down and shit.  Instead of instaraping her or sth, he just proposes that they slepp together which gets Bitch-chan all “UWAAA THIS IS FIRST TIME WE SLEEP TOGETHER <3” so Light starts professing his love for her and tells her to cmon, feel up his chest to see how fast his heart is beating.

5040…and then he starts moaning abt how good it feels and how vampires don’t have a heartbeat UHEUEHUEHUEHUE and Bitch-chan has an epiphany like “OH YA I DON’T CARE ANYMORE I’M HORNY LETS FUCK”.  I shudve known rofl

5071so yeah idk man this becomes some kinda weird porn show afterwards where Bitch-chan is always hornyy , becoming some crazy jealous girl when she hears that she wasnt the only hamatome. Cordelia then awakens inside her and tells her that when she died like 16 years ago or sth, chichinashi had also just conveniently died so Reheater put Cordelia’s heart inside her… Okay…

Anyway chichinashi has finally become vampire enough and soon Cordelia will take over and ride chichinashi like how lucifer rode poor Sam in Supernatural

5031Light tells chichinashi that Cordelia was the daughter of some 大魔王 and that her hubby is king vampire some shit. Anyway she was a huge アバズレ who liked to sexually prey on her children till Ayato went nuts and tried Cordelia ran to Light for help but he gets all horny seeing Cordelia xovered in blood so decides to shove her off the balcony cuz she’s uh “too beautiful” and he “loves her too much” rofl holy shit these kids really need a shrink

5121Chichinashi is like “wt the diu” but decides shr rly dgaf anymore so she tells Light that she loves him and that she’ll never like Cordelia take her. Lights like “ok sure”, he ends up killing his dad to become king vamp and promises to love chichinashi for life

Kanato

4090The creepy little fucker who looks like he cakes on eyeshadow under his eyes in a horrific attempt to emulate Avril Lavigne and Taylor Momsen. Needless to say, I found him to be super キモイ and noped right outta there when I saw him. However, fate is cruel and I am unable to say no to the requests of my dear readers so here I am, trying not to shit myself as this creepy fuck does things that no 12 year old should know how to do to dumb shit chichinashi (K STFU FLAMERS I KNOW HE’S *17*)

4070I mean even his siblings are like ‘OH YO SHIT’S GOING DOWNNNNNNNNNNNN” when Chichinashi chooses Kanato!  At first I thought he was alright – unlike Ayato and Light, Kanato’s like “leave me alone chichinashi” instead of jumping on her but then…

…HE STARTS SCREAMING.

LIKE. EVERY. 2 MINUTES.

WT THE FLYING FUCKS???

4010And that’s when I realised that not only is he horribly creepy, he’s one of THOSE kids…you know, needy as fuck, inferiority complex + a myriad of other probs and also bratty as hell.

dear

fucking

god.

Have I ever told you guys that apart from hating flakey playboy types with mommy issues and “DARK PASTS OMGAD IT HURTTSSS”, I also loathe bratty kids.  Other kids I adore but not bloody bratty kids.

4031So needless to say, I did NOT enjoy Kanato and had to listen to him bitch and scream and cry about everything like when Chichinashi beats him at chess, when she uh “lies” to him and when she goes somewhere “WITHOUT MY PERMISSION OMGGGG”.  There was some shit about how Cordelia used to have sex in front of Kanato 24/7 so that left him fucked up and when she died, he took her ashes and stuffed em inside his teddy bear.  Everytime, Kanato would start blubbering about how women are all Satan’s concubines and how Chichinashi is going to leave him like everyone and how his life sucks.

dxbrLS2

Yeah well idgaf lol

4052Ofc, Chihinashi takes pity on Kanato and ends up being unable to leave the little brat.  Kanato takes it that she means she wants to stay with him forever so makes her drink his blood and perves on her all day long

4110I got sick of doing the M choices so I just did the S ones (which aren’t S at all, just reponses that a NORMAL PERSON WITH ANY SHRED OF DIGNITY WOULD GIVE) and so I got this even more retarded ending where Chichinashi becomes the biggest hoe around, sleeps around with ALL THE DIABOLIK WIFEBEATERS cuz she’s “ronery” when Kanato’s not around.  When Kanato finds out, he goes batshit and when Chichinashi’s like “I SWEAR I DID IT CUZ I RONERY”, Kanato gets her to prove her love by killing all the brothers LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL so she does and they fuck happily ever after.

Reiji

2121Ofc, a wifebeater game wouldn’t be complete without the kichiku rapist so we are graced with the godunholy presence of this twat.  Oddly enough, he’s actually been present in other routes to give Chichinashi advice – how helpful he is is a completely different matter though and he’s obv doing it for shits and giggles.  Anyway, he’s the mama of the house, in charge of the chores and shares a mother with Subaru and Shuu.

2040Funnily enough, I get the feeling I’ll like this guy – I’ve never been particularly partial to kichiku rapists but I’ve never hated them that much either.  Reiji seems like he’ll be consistent, non-whiny and it helps that he’s the least popular of the brothers according to the otomate poll…

AND….so far I’m totally wrong about prolly liking him cuz this guy is fuck boring.  The other guys so far have all either made me roflcopter, annoyed or just straight up dumbfounded but Reiji fails to elict any sort of strong emotion in me other than plain boredom and apathy

2021For the first part of the story, Reiji’s just like some sterotypical verbally abusive asian mother who bitches about everything but takes the time out to tutor her and clean up her manners.  He gets all mad when she talks to Shuu though and later on ends up biting her after he tells her that he hired chichinashi’s dad to kill his mama beatrice

2080Chichinashi discovers that Reiji is trying to make a medicine that can revive the death, and when Reiji catches her reading his notes, he flips shit and tries to kill her.  Cordelia though, awakens briefly and lends Chichinashi her strength, allowing our dumb heroine to live another day.

2050Reiji feels like shit when he sees how terrified Chichinashi is so patches her up or some shit i dont even rmb lol but anyway he gets all nice and stuff, making Chichinashi go dokidoki but then shit happens and suddenly Reheater appears and Cordelia takes over.

We get some flashback of Cordelia’s, where Reheater is the little brother of her wife and how the two were fighting over her in the beginning.  Cordelia chose Reheater’s bro in the end, KAAAAAARU, but KAAAAAARU just married Cordelia cuz she’s the daughter of great honourable maou. KAAAAAARU doesn’t pay any attention to her though so big slut Cordelia sleeps around and soon has an affair with Reheater. Ayato goes nuts and tries to kill her one night so she gets Reheater to carve out her heart and put it into random dead bb chichinashi so she can come back to life later on. To avoid KAAAAAARU suspecting anything though (he’d want Cordelia back cuz she’s still got magic maou blood), Reheater has to pass off orphan bb chichinashi to sone random vampire hunter. I don’t even know anymore like why did chichinashi’s vampire hunter foster dad not just kill her of some shit so I’ll just assume this was part of Cordelia’s magic too
Now that Chichinashi has finally awakened, Cordelia takes over permanently and basically fucks around with Reiji for the next couple days
2071Cordelia’s a real bitch and basically destroys all of Reiji’s research and annoys him all day long. Reiji’s pretty cordial st first like he usually is but is actually shitting himself and desperately wants chichinashi back… Cuz somewhere sometime where I was not paying attention or sth, he had magically fallen in love with her rofl

2100One night Cordelia decides to go for a swim but chichinashi can’t swim so she ends up almost drowning and Reiji saves her. This temporarily knocks Cordelia out so chichinashi takes control again where the two have some snuggly time, where Reiji tells chichinashi that he freaked out abt Cordelia destroying his research not because he was making that resurrection shit but bc he was trying to make a medicine that wud force cordelia out of chichinashi
2110Cordelia takes over again but finally. Reiji tricks Cordelia into ingesting some of the meds but because I chose alk the S choices, I get a non happily ever after ending where Cordelia fuses with Chichinashi so chichinashi becomes some two faced bipolar hoe and enslaves poor Reiji with her irresistible maou yum yum blood

Shuu

 1100One of the only two guys who I was actually interested in before I found out the premise of this game lol. Shuu a lazy fuck who’s always bunking class, sleeping and living in his own little world with earphones fucking fused to his ear canals. Unlike the other bros, he has no inte4est in chichinashi and finds it a real bother when she chooses him.  Lol i think I’m actually gonna like this guy. Bonus points bc he’s torikou

1011When chichinashi finds out that shuus bunking all the time, she gets all naggy and shit and tries to get Shuu to get his ass to class. Turns out shuts a giant flirt lol and tells him he will but only if chichinashi gives him a kiss.  Who would’ve guessed lol
Chichinashi does but still, there isn’t uh cvo btwn the two of them. She walks in on Shuu napping fully clothed in a full bah rofl and tries to get him to gtfo so she can bathe but shuu gets all “Uhuebuehuehuehuehue u perve u jus wanted to me my naked man nipple”
rofl wtf shuu

Curious as to wt Shuus always listening to, Chichinashi asks what the music is. Turns out to be the moanings of some woman loooool and Shuu compares the moans to classical music

1041So Shuu continues to be a complete tease and whenever Chichinashi nags him about being a lazy fuck, he tells her to sth naughty in exchange lol.  He ends up pinning her down a couple of times for shits and giggles but always ends up stopping…unlike his other siblings rofl

1081Shuu finally bites her in front of all his other brothers but nothing really changes and we get a little flashback showing that he was the lonely rich kid, always getting nagged at and shit cuz he’s the heir blablabla so one day he ran off, bumped into a human kid called EDGAR and they became besties.  Reiji doesn’t like how Shuu is tainting the family name by sodomising humans so he sets fire to Edgar and kills everyone trolololol wow wt a fuck rofl

1051After that, Shuu gets more touchy feely, biting Chichinashi whenever and gets her to do even more naughty things like licking his wounds and doign some striptease for him and she ends up becoming his happy bitch

1120Blablabla in the end, the two confess their SM love for each other and Shuu runs away with Chichinashi cuz he’s not fucked to be the successor of his fam lol

Subaru

6021HOLY SHIT I’M FINALLY DOWN TO THE LAST ONE THANK FUCK SO HEPI

Subaru’s a violent grouchy shit who’s basically a sexier version of Ayato but has some traumatic past or some shit oh boohoo no one cares

6010Kay I’ll just rush through his really fast because I really don’t care anymore and I can see the light at the end of this hellish tunnel of a game.

6031Subaru’s a fuck who’s super tsun to chichinashi and bites the fuck outta her etc but does it in a grouchy “oh i’m a hardcore delinquent boi fear me” way

6060he’s all possessive over chichinashi but like his siblings, he’s fockin hypocrite and then turns around and goes “OH EM GEE STAHP GETTING SO CLOSE TO ME” and is a drama queen abt shit

6090he does have some pretty cute dere moments but at this point, it’s impossible to stir up any affectionate feelings towards this game so i wuz lyk -_- anyway

We find out that he didn’t have some incestuous thing with his mom and that his mom was raped by his dad or sth, forced into marriage and then she spent the rest of her life being cray and angry and nutty and begging for Subaru to kill her.  Finally Subaru does one day to free her and that’s why he always acts like an angry dragon

6100it’s okay though cuz chichinashi tells him he’s beautiful and slowly eases that XXLL purple dildo out his ass so he gives her a kiss and tells her to wait while he goes and finishes up his shit with his rapist dad

6112Subaru’s not strong enough to take down his pops though so he ends up fleeing with chichinashi who has decided by now that she’s so in love with Subaru that she wants to do everything that can help him defeat his pops so she tells him to power up on her blood and that she’s his forever cow fodder.

I….I just can’t.  This shit’s too romantic for me /s

Afterthoughts and Conclusions

7020I think me taking half a year to finish this game sums up about everything I feel about it.

I know a fair number of people enjoyed this game and found the guys super moe or some shit.  I guess I’m not otome enough to see the appeal or sth.

I don’t think of myself as particularly funny or anything – I think I really only have one good trait and that is that I’m generally a pretty laidback person.  Just going with the flow, taking things as is and being able to laugh about things.

I just couldn’t do this with this game.  I didn’t have the usual sense of “LOLOLOLOL DIS SO BAD IT FUNNY HEUHEUHUHEHUHUE”.  Maybe the weight of uni and work are killing my sense of humour but this game just rubbed me the wrong way.  My brows were either furrowed or had disappeared into my hairline and several times, my left eye had lapsed into twitching fits

Something like this I guess ^

I just couldn’t see why anyone would buy/play this game unless they were lured into it like me, thinking that it’d just be an otome game with vampires and pretty art.  The heroine was so fucking stupid and all the guys were bloody wifebeaters.  It wasn’t even “sexy wifebeating” or anything, it was just degrading and stupid as fuck.  Otomate tried to give the boys depth by inserting boohoo so sad pasts and show that they were poor damaged souls and were secretly caring in their own sick way but just no.  The way they split the choices into M and S made no sense at all either: the S choices were just responses that a normal victim in chichinashi’s situation would choose!

I’M SORRY IF STANDING UP FOR MYSELF MAKES ME A SADIST.

I do have a character that I ended up liking though: Cordelia.  She had a nice rack and her bitchiness did get a derisive chuckle out of me a few times.  Least she was CONSISTENT.  And Shuu was alright, wasn’t super violent or anything and Light made me lol pretty hard most the time.  I absolutely despised Kanato and Ayato.  I don’t know why Japan has this obsession with whiny shota but I’ll say it again: fuck bratty kids especially those who raid their mom’s makeup and smear black shit under their eyes in an attempt to look edgy and misunderstood

The plot was also complete rubbish and I guess I shouldn’t be expecting plot from a game as brainless as this but AT LEAST THEY COULD HAVE TRIED.  What is all this tosh about putting Cordelia’s heart into Chichinashi? Shit wasn’t even consistent; Reheater showed up only when he felt like it, we don’t get any backstory for the douchebag vampire dad or Chichinashi’s dad, and similarly, Cordelia awakened whenever she felt like it.  I guess she and Reheater are a match made in vampire heaven or some shit.

Alright to be fair, I didn’t play all the routes and only went for one end for each guy and didn’t play the uh “best end” for all of em.  I was so sick of choosing doormat responses that I didn’t care anymore.

And I’ll admit: the art was fab.  I loved the pastelly colours and the character designs (CEPT FOR FUCKING KANATO) and I hope Ozmafia won’t be as shitty as this game.  The music was aite but I was too busy wtfing to appreciate it.I understand (or at least I think) that this game was supposed to have a ridiculous premise and wasn’t supposed to be taken seriously or anything.  I was the ignorant idiot who didn’t do prior research and walked in expecting some marginally entertaining  angsty Twilight shit.

TL;DR I just expected this game to at least be able to make me laugh at how ludicrous it was but it just ended up weirding me out more than anything.

On a sidenote, I apologise for the lack of updates; life has been a horribly clingy girlfriend and for some god unfathomable reason, I decided to take summer classes. Fuck me right? Sandeian, come back I can’t do this alone T.T  On the bright side, I have still been gaming rather halfheartedly on the side and have stuck my gigantic rainbow dick into Princess Arthur, BWS, Taisho Mebiusline and Norn9.  Ofc, whether I finish these games, and when I do are a completely different matter lol qq

EDIT:

So it seems I have hurt some poor otome hearts with my usual shitty writing and it seems I haven’t been clear enough; I apologise.

My problem with this game, ultimately, is that it is  poorly executed and attempts to be deeper than it really is.  It showcases all the guys as wifebeating assholes (with the exception of Shuu for the most part and perhaps Subaru) and then gives some crappy Freudian excuses as to why they’re so twisted.  Crappy parenting is now supposed to clear their names because actually, it’s not really their fault for being dickfucks and they’re really just traumatised poor souls that we’re supposed to coo over and love.

How I see it though, is how are we supposed to sympathise with characters who have been portrayed as violent brutes the entire time?  By this point, I could only see these guys as giant pricks and a sudden revelation that they had horrible pasts certainly doesn’t magically make me fall in love with them.  Slipping in a quick “oh yeah he’s a twat cuz his mom was one” only provides a halfassed explanation that in no way, justifies the actions of the boys – it doesn’t make stuff like drowning Chichinashi or basically raping her OK.

OH RIGHT DO YOU KNOW WHAT  DISGUSTING PHENOMENA IN SOCIETY TODAY THAT THIS GAME BEARS SIMILARITY TO?

FUCKING RAPE CULTURE.

Nor could I feel anything for the plight of Subaru’s mother because all the exposure she gets is from Subaru’s memories and she’s always shown as some hysteric Ophelia,screaming.  We never got to know her personally and the same goes for all the parents.  It’s basically douchebag dad, hoebag Cordelia, dead Beatrice, victim Christa.

It is in the same vein as if a serial murderer was found to have grown up sick in the head because of a bad childhood: sure it gives some insight into his/her background but the verdict will surely be the same and he/she will still be found guilty. Obviously I can’t compare a fantasy 2D game with real life cases but I just wanted to get across that explanation =/= justification.  These boys make it their goal to shit on Chichinashi 24/7 and by the end of the game, how I interpret it is, she is broken and has resigned herself to living with the abuse for the rest of her life.  There is no divine retribution or anything of the sort as the boys end up being Karma Houdinis and get Chichinashi as their eternal punchbag plaything.  UGUUUU THIS IS SO ROMANTIC OMG yeah no wtf.

In short, crappy writing is crappy writing.

Otomate clearly did not put any effort into anything but the art, voices and maximising the douchebaggery of the characters.  And you know what?  Those aren’t supposed to be the main selling points of a game.  The 2 biggest things are clearly supposed to be the likableness of the characters and the execution of the story.  I don’t think I’m being anal or taking this game too seriously – I understand that Diabolik Wifebeaters is supposed to be (or at least it seems like to me) for shits and giggles and that the voices are the selling point but that doesn’t mean I have to like the game.  I just did what I usually did, mind my own fucking business and write some highass shitty review about what I thought but then some people just had to go blow shit out of proportion, take me seriously and rage about my shit.  What the fuck man.  I’m just putting this here so no one wastes their time bitching again for attention or sth idk cuz HO-LEE SHIIIIIIIET I WRITE SHIT GET OVER IT. I didn’t like the game, some other people didn’t either, and some others did.  Good for everyone then, to each his own, leave me alone, smoke a joint,  love and peace <3

127 Responses to “Otome Game Review – Diabolik Wifebeaters”

  1. This review made me laugh a lot. I always look forward to your reviews. I can’t wait for the next one. And good luck with school. I also have a question that you either want to reply back or not, but I was wondering if you’re bi-sexual? Anyways love your reviews!

    • domshiki Says:

      why thank u, I had more fun writing this post than I did playing the game. rofl first questions abt my gender and now sexual orientation? all this interest is flattering ;) I wouldn’t say I’m bisexual, more bicurious but mostly lazy and uninterested

      • Well at first I thought you were a lesbian, then I thought you were bi, but now I know you’re a guy who plays Otome games for fans. Also I’m happy to know that you read my previous comments. But yeah I am kinda interested in what you do besides do reviews. Like if you have a status update rather than 4 Shiki twitter, something that describes about you.

      • domshiki Says:

        LOL if that’s what you think sure ;)
        ha I’m sure u’d be the only one interested in my life. I mostly just work and go to class and game some when I get the time but I’m very flattered thank you <3

      • Well you’re a funny person and I like that in a person

      • domshiki Says:

        I like that in a person too ty <3

  2. hahaha your post made my morning ( ゚∀゚)ァハハ八八ノヽノヽノヽノ \ / \/ \

    oh btw Reiji and Shu’s mom isn’t the same as Subaru’s mom. I’m sure you found this out as you played through but probably forgot to edit your sentence or something.

    It’s funny you hate Laito less than Kanato. I’d rather have Kanato screaming in my ear than Laito having his ex-girlfriend tsukaimas rape me www xD

    As far as why I played/bought this game simple = dummy head mic + my fav seiyuus rofl. Yea what they did is pretty ridiculous but I’d just step out for a sec and be like “mm prpr my ear Hirarin (◉◞౪◟◉`)” haha so that’s why really xD;; Good luck with your classes and post us a funny thing to read once in a while!

    • domshiki Says:

      glad this made u laugh, I loled pretty hard too when I realised how well some of the gifs just fit in

      oh balls yeah fuck I thought they all had Cordelia as a hoe mom at first since she’s such a slut

      oh ma gad those horny noises Jesus Christ I kept thinking the guys were fapping or sth cuz voiceless heroine abd all. light wins it man, Hirarin just dear god.

      naw Kanato was too much of a whiny emo brat to not hate imo. least light made me lol

      tyty if only sandeian wud return and do some work!

  3. oh my god I love you, I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU. I’ve only been waiting 5ever for this post. Personally I’m a huge fan of this game even if it was pretty retarded.

    Doesn’t matter tho because I can die happy now
    *・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・'(*゚▽゚*)’・*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・* UAU WELL ALMOST, I WANNA SEE YOU BWS FIRST.

    Also, don’t think Ozmafia will be anything like this. LOL. It’s just the same artist and that’s all. Ozmafia probably has more plot too. xD

    • domshiki Says:

      AI RABU YU 2 BB!!!!!!

      ploughed through just for you ;)

      oh rly? good to hear this game wasn’t hell for u like it was for me haha

      I only played up to where the wolf boi jumps out the tower with the heroine but so far I like it ;3

      sweeeet i wudnt be able to take another diawifebeater

      • woooow~ **SWOONS anyone who can put up with Yui through six different routes is my hero.

        RLLY. Yes, yes. BWS is so good. Dem animal boys are the best. uwu and the Heroine isn’t a fucking retard.

        They actually are releasing a fandisc, with 4 more “rival” vampires. AND A RLLY POORLY DRAWN ANIMEEEE, LOLomg. I can’t even put up with that shit.

        ┻━┻ ︵ ლ(◡‿◡✿ლ) nope.

      • domshiki Says:

        lol that’d be any masochist

        Is it? I’ve heard mostly good things about it cept for some crazies in the game and that it’s super long and is more plot heavy than anything. I like my crazies and I like a good story though the first impression I got of the heroine was that she was fuckin stoned – DEM EYES.

        dear god stahp making otome games into anime plz dey so bad </3

  4. You’re stronger than I am, I don’t think I could have finished this game. Lol! I can’t believe they’re going to make an anime of it. Seriously! I love your blog, can’t wait for your next update. :D Good luck with life!

    • domshiki Says:

      omg they making an animu of this dear gods

      thanks! I barely managed to plough through lol

      • actually anime coming very soon

      • Daileo Says:

        2 years late. Anyway, the anime is like… so stupid and as messed up as the game. It was (obviously) terribad. So pls don’t watch it ^^

  5. always entertaining to read! I was surprised to see this on my dashboard and I’m like YEAAA
    I like Subaru the most but I agree with you most of the things happened there specially kanato. I know the whole he saw her mom got screwed thingy but DAT FORK ISN’T A NICE THING TO STAB SOMEONE.
    and don’t worry about ozmafia. I tried the demo ver and it’s better than I’ve thought. at least it doesn’t have the whole SM thingy

    • domshiki Says:

      omfg yeah that fork scene I was like YO KID WUT YO B DOIN WITH DAH FORK that kid was terrifying. I agree, Subaru was one of the btr guys. too bad he was still a violent twat half the time lol

      brill, least there’s no SM wifebeating!!!

  6. Ailyn Says:

    God, this is hilarious, just discovered your blog and I’m rofling so much reading it xD
    Also, I probably won’t go near this game withouth a 10 foot pole <3

    Oh, and for shits and giggles I would recomend Hadaka Shitsuji, THAT game is… Idk what to say about that game, it was too, uh… Er, let's just say it had way too many things going into places they weren't supposed to. (God, Idk how people can like these games, I just don't)

    Anyway, good luck with your blog and rl too :3~

    • domshiki Says:

      Glad we’re making u laugh and thanks for reading <3

      LOL I heard Hadaka Shitsuji is utterly terrible and is basically a shittier version of Ore no Shita de Agake or sth. Seems like it'd be fun to review though haha

  7. ASDFGHJKL Says:

    I loved this review~ by any chance are you soon a amnesia review? I wanna see your reaction :3 (and to my fav chars Toma)

  8. Thank you very much, reading your reviews was super fun as always.

    Sometimes when I read reviews or opinions about this game from people like Hinano and you makes me come back to earth after reading all the fangirling in the internet.

    • domshiki Says:

      Thank you very much for reading :D
      omg ikr? Sometimes I google initial impressions of a game just to see if it’s worth playing and the only ones that are around when the game has been released are Japanese ones. Then I play the game and end up going “wtf there was nothing moe abt this guy” lol. I find that my opinions really clash with those of many Japanese players

  9. lycheechan Says:

    Will you be doing Dramatical Murder RE:connect as well?

  10. Mimi Says:

    Ah I was so sad this entire last semester of school because I had no funny otome or BL game updates to read on here…

    ….and then I come back to DIABOLIK LOVERS!?!?!?!? Y U DO DIS TO ME!?!?!?!?

    Major props to you being able to finish the game. I couldn’t play past half an hour because I wanted to beat the heroine so much. But yeah, I’ve been reading for a while and never really felt the need to comment until now. Srsly, you are made of tougher stuff than me for slogging through this awful game. WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE IT SO MUCH?!?!

    • domshiki Says:

      HUEHUEHUEHUHEUHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE CUZ I CAN <3

      I can't say no to my lovely readers and I got a lot of requests for this game – I guess everyone wanted me to suffer lol. And suffer I did…so much…
      Chichinashi wins the dumbest heroine award I'm not even kidding. Holy shit. For the voices I guess and dummy head mike thing haha personally, I found myself lmaoing at all the "blood drinking sessions" cuz the guys just sounded so stupidly horny. It's like eating dinner with your family and you suddenly start banging your broccoli or sth

  11. Love the gifs, they seem to fit with your expression haha. XD It’s great to read another review from you (they’re so hilarious xD) especially cause they’re making an anime for this game and I’ve been curious for a while since I heard you were playing it. I’ll prolly cave in to my curiosity and end up watching a few eps anyway but at least I know what to expect now LOL. Keep it up!

    • domshiki Says:

      I think I spent most of my effort looking for gifs lolol
      dear lord yeah I heard they were making an anime…same I know i’ll end up watching it anyway xD Thanks for reading!

  12. Leslie Says:

    OMG!!! This was so hilarious! Reading this post really helped me out on a stressful week. Great job and keep up the good work! That watermelon gif was the best!!!

    • domshiki Says:

      Glad to be of service ;) LOL YEAH i loved that gif, the guy behind him is like “the fuck…”

  13. phoenixalia Says:

    Thanks. I was waiting for your summary of this game and don’t worry…you’re not alone. I’m not ‘otome’ enough to like this game either. Just reading Ayato’s summary scares me. And the others too…actually, after reading Ayato’s summary I think the others aren’t THAT bad…well, Kanato scares me too. Just…creepy.

    Oh, I can’t wait to see how they incorporate all this into the anime. The anime is gonna be such a laugh.

    • domshiki Says:

      lol omg Ayato was horrible to play dat guy was just so bliddy violent but yeah, Kanato 2 fucking terrifying man

      rofl the animu is gonna be a joke I swear

      • phoenixalia Says:

        ROLF all these people who’ve never heard of/played the game think it’s gonna be some sweet romantic anime with a slash of Twilight lololol.

        I remember the shitstorms that occurred during Toma’s episodes in the AMNESIA anime and man, people are gonna be so surprised.

        They have NO IDEA what’s in store lol.

      • domshiki Says:

        that’s exactly what I thought lol… troll otomate

        arghhh I’ve been hearing so much abt touma wish I didn’t get spoiled so early on i wanted the whole wtfbbq factor haha

  14. Lol, your review is entertaining as always. Your gif is just perfect. But this is probably the most negative review you’ve wrote right? XD Kudos to you for braving through the routes! For me, while I like some twisted story, I probably can’t handle this too..

    Anyway, is this game is so popular that they decided to make an anime of it? The heroine isn’t going to be getting along with the Western viewer..

    • domshiki Says:

      Why tyvm <3 Lol yeah I think this is the only game I've ever played that I actually DISLIKED completely instead of going "meh" or sth. Couldn't enjoy at all cuz I found it so stupid

      rofl I can't wait to see some Western reviews when the anime comes out it's prolly gna get flamed soooooooooooo hard

  15. Fuon Says:

    On the brighter news, welcome back! Always enjoyed your entries. ~ Good luck with your summer classes. C:

  16. omglynnie Says:

    Kanato just makes me ANGRY…. even when you choose all M responses where you’re supposed to get a ‘good’ ending … you’ll never get the ideal lovey-dovey otome ending. After all the torments the protagonist had to go through, getting sliced by a fucking knife, stabbed by a goddamn fork, pushed down and forced to have sex with our mentioned Mr. I-Smear-Eyeshadow-Because-BAWWW, and etc., our hero chichinashi ends up getting dementia… ugh just wtf.

    • domshiki Says:

      LOOOOOL is that what happens in the M ending? well then again, do u really want a lovey dovey ending with any of these psycho Wifebeaters? I thought Kanato’s ending made the most sense cuz i figured all the abuse wud most probably make anyone go bonkers instead of falling in love with the abuser

  17. Meriku Says:

    Holy sh!t i was about to play this game , IM A FUCK!N SADIST !!!
    Thnx you for tha review , so close from download this game , i guess i should play more gay porn for now , this game is so . . .
    Anway thnx for tha review :D

    • domshiki Says:

      rofl yeah don’t play this u don’t get to torture the boys. u cud play senge’s route from taishoumebiusline if u like seeing the protagonist suffering lol

  18. Célia Says:

    I just loved it, even though my English is rotten, and I understood all along the analysis, I laughed x’DD.

    Thank you.

    Kiss of France :)

  19. HOLY SH- ARE MY EYES PLAYING GAMES!? YOU’RE ACTUALLY BACK AND WITH DIABOLIK LOVERS TOO. (Still going to watch the anime for it (e u e) hehehe) You took one for the team, :’) Subaru is still my favourite character despite being a “hardcore mofo” and Shuu was pretty laid back so I’m taking him as a fav character too. Ayato and Laito rub me in the wrong way so I’m going to them on my hit list. Kanato, screaming too much but still alright.

    So excited for Ozmafia! The characters look great, the art is wonderful (the only reason I pretty much played Diabolik Lovers besides listening to their Drama CDs) and the story is alright so far.

    Take care of your health D: It seems like life’s stressing you out!!

    • domshiki Says:

      OH BB DID U MISS ME <3

      I found it pretty hard to have a favourite character but yeah, for sure Subaru and Shuu were the *btr* guys lol fking Ayato and Kanato just no.

      Oh are u playing it right now? Ughhhh I agree the arts so nice I want to play it too but…hugeass backlog of games sabfaskdbfdsbfskfskfbdskfs

      thanks haha it's not so bad, it just sounds horrible when I sit down, think about my life schedule and realise how much shit I'm doing on average

  20. did you made heroine name “dog” ???
    you are really funny person :D

    • domshiki Says:

      lol not for this game – I wasn’t bothered too cuz it was so boring. I did name the heroine from the Phantom of the Opera game “used tampon” though
      Thanks haha it’s probably my only redeeming trait <3

      • i think this game is quite exciting,im bored by playing “typical school otome” like starry sky
        this one looks quite different and insteresting i will give a shot

    • domshiki Says:

      I’m flattered that my writing was incendiary enough to have someone write an entire rage post about me but…isn’t it kind of silly to get so worked up over an internet stranger who makes writing moronic posts the entire mission of his blog?

      Thanks for the link though! It’s nice to see a variety of opinions :D

      • Yosuke Says:

        Over a year reply but god someone was really mad over this review XD I just thought it was hilarious.

  21. ayame101 Says:

    Would you watch if it was made into an anime?
    its being made into an anime.

    • domshiki Says:

      I kid abt watching it for shits and giggles but in all seriousness, this really wasn’t my cup of tea and I don’t think I’ll be touching the anime at all lol

  22. Leslie Says:

    I guess this game is popular enough because I just came back from Anime Expo and I swear I saw a girl cosplay as Kanato. The shitty eyeliner and the teddy bear tipped me off lol Not to hate on someone on cosplay but I kept thinking WHY A WIFEBEATING COSPLAY?!?! lmao Thought you would have a chuckle about this.

  23. Sylvia Says:

    I got interested because of the pretty art, but yeah, I’ll never understand the appeal of the jerk types lol

    Just curious whether you’ve played Gore Screaming Show before, and what you thought of it. If not, I’d love to read your review of it, but…the only CGs I’ve seen of it are…yeah. :/

  24. Dangobokki Says:

    Finally! a new review <3 huehuehue. When will the day come where we get to play a seme lady for once =_____= pls

  25. Haha…..XD. Nice review, I love you as always XD Even though I’m SO addicted to this series XD, I loved your flames and all XD. I see your point though. I actually only played the game cause of the story and the CGs. The DRama CDs is still the best way to love this series (since the seiyuus were all awesome!! My fave :3)
    Hmmm, for all honesty, I like Ayato the most because of the story and character depth (and the Seiyuu!! Midorin used his Shiki voice lol) He always had a special spot on my heart. Shuu n Subaru were practically the most liked because of the romance element……I think this wasn’t an otome game at all XD.
    Well, congratz again. I really like your reviews :3 and I wonder what your reaction will be if you play Black Wolves Saga? Especially the Bloody Nightmare ver. with the bloody twins!~
    Ja ne and sorry for the long post!

    • domshiki Says:

      Oh lol sorry if I offended you or anything, seems like I made som ppl mad with this review. I didn’t listen to the drama cds or anything, nor did I know that it was going to be full of abuse so it hit me like a truck. Honestly the premise isn’t what made me go “LOLWTF” – in my pov, this was a game that people didn’t buy for the plot or depth and its selling point is obv the seiyuu and the art so sure that’s alright. It’s just that otomate tried to make this deeper than it really was by giving ‘traumatic’ pasts for the boys but it was just so poorly executed from where I stand. I must agree that Midorin was super hot doing Ayato even though I think I disliked him the most

      DEAR LORDS im going through Rasu’s route and holy shit the kitty twins everytime they show up I want to kill them those scheming bastards!

      Thanks for droppin by <3

      • Nahh, you didn’t offend me, dun worry. Everyone’s just makin mountains out of molehills, where’s the respect in that? XD Well, everyone’s got their opinion and I’ve always loved your reviews coz you’re true to your opinion and you don’t bias XD

        Well, do tell if you’ll post a review on BWS!~ I’d love to read it XD I’ve always read your every review but didn’t really have the guts to comment!~

        Rath XD lol…..poor guy. XD Rejet really knows how to give the feels…..I remember your Hana Awase review XD

      • domshiki Says:

        Haha thanks for the support, yeah I know I write stupid shit but I never expected ppl to get mad over it. No need to be too shy to comment, I’m less douchebaggy than my reviews make out haha

        Omg I just finished rath’s route and Wtf Wtf Wtf??? All the feels T T I’m very reluctant to go into mayo Joe and tropicana oj ‘s route after I saw all the abuse cgs lol. Oh god hana awase… That one was just unfair it made my dusty smelly heart cry so much

  26. Brittany Says:

    So I recently found this blog searching for some game that I can’t remember lol but after I read your hilarious comments I just had to read all your other reviews. Then I saw that you posted something new and I have to say you had me cracking up the whole time (well I was actually holding in my laughter cause is like 4 in the morning and my family would think I was weird lol). Side note, I actually thought the game was called diabolik wifebeaters and was like wow what a weird name for a game lol then I saw the game cover and was like ohhhh that makes more sense lol. (Sorry for the long comment lol)

    • domshiki Says:

      I’m glad I made you laugh I had a lot of fun writing this too <3 rofl yeah halfway through I forgot the real name of this game too cuz I was so busy just going "LOLWTF IZ DIS WIFEBEATING". Just rmb not to take my seriously and come again!

      • Brittany Says:

        Haha I’ll definitely be back :) and I can’t wait for your next review (since I don’t know japanese well enough to buy a game this is really my only way to experience the plot lol)

      • domshiki Says:

        Come again soon <3 haha I hope to get sth out soon, probably bws. If you know Chinese or Korean, it's not too hard to pick up Japanese :p

  27. Pengaana Says:

    Long time lurker here. I read your review yesterday and bumped into the criteria for an abusive relationship today and couldn’t stop laughing because all I could think of was your review.
    http://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/am-i-being-abused-2/

    Anyway keep on trucking, your reviews are always good for a laugh that’s just what you do. Like the Zero Punctuation of the visual novel world.

    • domshiki Says:

      LOL holy shit I guess I wasn’t wrong about the wifebeaters part

      zero punctuation? no, the honour is too high for me but thanks man, making people laugh is what I’m tryna do <3

  28. angela Says:

    Omg. Your review summary made we laugh so hard. I was thinking if i should play ”diabolik wifebeaters” but after reading this. big NO NO. Thanks for the summary! It really made my day. :D Lol. Hope your doing good with your classes. :P

  29. onliafaze Says:

    Dear lord, how on Earth did this get green-lit for an anime adaptation?

  30. I can’t believe some people are giving you shit about this

    I LOVE YOU AND THEY CAN’T STOP ME T–T

    • domshiki Says:

      Well it is true that I write some ahole stuff but I’m just surprised ppl take me srsly lol. Omgad yu don’t know how much that means to me <3

  31. Bootsykk Says:

    Jeebus, I knew this game looked awful from the start but I can’t believe Aksys is actually considering localizing this crap. This would single-handedly bomb the visual novel market into oblivion with the amount of controversy. Then again 50 shades sold so well so who knows what the fuck would happen

    dat art though. Glad to finally see you’re back from that long break.

    • domshiki Says:

      Wait… It’s getting an eng ver? LOOOOOL shits gon be hilarious Omg. I never read fifty shades but I was always under the impression that the relationship was consensual… Unlike in this game rofl

    • domshiki Says:

      Thanks mannnn, got a lot going on in life so it’s hard to find time to blog

  32. Taylor Says:

    As usual, your review is both hilarious and informative! :) The only reason I knew about this game was the fact Kaji Yuuki was in it, and he’s amazing at what he does~ (finnian!) I can’t speak or read japanese all that well, but I thought I’d play the game anyway, just for fun. But after this review…I’m not so sure. o.o I was looking forward to the drama CD for Kanato, but when I actually heard it….wow. I mean, you have to admire someone who can pull off such a bi-polar character, of course. But I definitely don’t like Kanato as a character. Me and my friend looked through other forums and reviews after reading this, and we were shocked at the actual games contents. I’m not sure if you took this route, but, on one part, you can choose between Making Kanato pancakes or French toast. if you make pancakes, Kanato just calls you cheap. But when you make him french toast…He. stabs. you. with. a. fork…..What the hell?! I love Kaji yuki and the art, but….is this really a game I should play..? *shake*

    • domshiki Says:

      Thanks! I must admit, the voice acting was stellar in this game despite all my negative feelings for it. LOL Kanato was the crazy crazy one along with Ayato…yeah I think I saw that scene where he’s holding a fork like some maniac and chichinashi is like “YO WTF IS THIS SHIT”.

      Well, I know a lot of people liked this game too. My review of it is so polarised also partly because I walked in expecting some Twlighty stuff and not wifebeating lol.

      • Taylor Says:

        What the Hell~? I didn’t get an email saying you replied…sorry! Yeah, I saw a ratio of People who liked this game and people who hated it being, like 4:6 XD
        Ugh… Despite my negative feelings toward Kanato the demon child, I ended up getting his character book. T.T I only did it for the art, though~
        Oh, Oh! I also read your review for Trick or Alice (By Hiyo or smthn) and I was wondering if you’ve ever played Akazukin Mayoi no mori (Or something…I forgot the title OAO)

  33. actually, Subaru’s mother is different from Shu’s and Reiji’s

  34. Happy cloud pooper Says:

    Dude u are the bomb seriously. I love all the game post u write and I’m a huge fan !!! I usually enjoy reading ur posts more than the games itself !!! Good luck with Ur classes and stay AWESOME YO !!!!!

  35. v__v I was so sad reading that person’s thought about your review. They clearly can’t feel your rage toward this game, and can’t see it in your PoV, and they presumed things about you when they don’t even know you in person! What judgment!

    Boohoo past doesn’t excuse what they’re doing to heroine and that just irked me real bad -_____-

    • domshiki Says:

      HAHAHAH aww don’t be sad; any reader who doesn’t know how I usually write would assume I’m being some misogynist troll hater (all the swearing etc rofl).

      It was my fault anyway for not looking up on this game before I played it – I just thought it’d be a typical otoge so the revelation of what this game really was did hit me pretty hard. I was bewildered more than anything else; I just couldn’t believe that there were people who thought this game was super deep and well written. It’s one thing to enjoy this game (everyone has different tastes, this just wasn’t my thing) but to think it was deep and meaningful? Jesus shit man idk but the boys having “sad pasts boohoo that’s why they rapists so it’s totally ok” was halfassed af and just exemplary shitty writing. I sit through all this senseless wifebeating, then get a 2 line *explanation* and it’s sposed to make me fawn over all these wifebeaters. I mean, I watched Gossip Girl and enjoyed it but no way in hell would I call it brilliant or thought provokingly deep. It was composed of a lot of brainless melodrama and hey that’s k, just don’t pretend it’s a tv masterpiece or anything. It wasn’t and neither was Diabolik Wifebeaters.

  36. […] going to fund this stuff, but I didn’t. That said, even the visual novel this is based on is even worse than I […]

  37. milla Says:

    “HOLY SHIT I’M FINALLY DOWN TO THE LAST ONE THANK FUCK SO HEPI”

    This comment made me lol ;D

    Had a lot of fun reading you review! I haven’t played the game but tried to watch the anime and even 15 minutes was too much to suffer through. This is clearly made for a niche audience who weren’t satisfied with the level of SM in Tsundere S Otome. It feels like a straight version of Kichiku Megane, only a lot worse. I wish they were making an anime version of Dot Kare or Vampire Sweetie instead…

    • domshiki Says:

      LOL this was honestly what I thought back then. Oh gods is it the same level of wifebeating in the anime too? I can’t wait to see how the anime community responds to it, especially the english community. Were Dot Kare and Vampire Sweetie good btw? haven’t gotten round to playing em yet thanks

      • milla Says:

        From what I’ve seen of the anime, it looked like a hostage situation from the middle ages with some kind of hunting game involved. I think it’d be pretty much the same thing if you took Harker from Dracula (the novel), replaced it with a japanese teenager and threw in a few more vampiric clones for good measure. Only a lot less elegant and a lot more degrading for women. Dot Kare was short but unexpectedly funny, I really liked it. I found myself laughing or smiling all the time, I mean just look at the character profiles, name:takuan, occupation:hero, hobby: barging in people’s houses and breaking their jars :P I also thought that Vampire Sweetie was actually sweet (except for Mikhail) but lately I don’t bother playing the bad/dark/depressing routes – just the good ones. I only played the S routes of Tsundere S Otome for example because all men became total douchebags in the pure or M routes, it got on my nerves.

  38. […] how much I dislike most of the characters (it should be called Diabolik Wifebeaters instead), the art was very nice and the voice acting was excellent. As I stated in an earlier post, […]

  39. This was a truly fun read! I just saw the first episode of the anime that came out and now I”m worried that the already rapeyness of it is just going to get worse…

    • domshiki Says:

      haha thanks! How did u like the first ep lolol. I’m wondering how they’re going to showcase the wifebeating stuff (eg how chichinashi is pretty much raped) and whether they’re gna tone it down or not.

      • At this point I don’t know. It just screams rape right now. It could go either way. I bet she’s gonna go with the crazy red haired one without a hat cuz…his hair’s red…or the white haired one cuz…you know he seems the most violent

  40. I choked on my tea from laughter, your review was tremendously hilarious and really accurate. The game was pretty much just getting laid all the time. I just watched the first episode of the anime, and the quality of the animation didn’t turn out to be that bad. Really wondering what they’re going to do with the fucked up scenes though.

  41. This review is the best one I’ve ever read!

    This game is about degrading poor human girl. These boys are fucked up, selfish and don’t feel guilty at all after doing cruel things to Yui. In conclusion it’s horrible, appealing only to those who are M and love vampires.

    I’ve never played the game, but started watching anime. The plot is no different from the game, but am still addicted to it, since I’m interested how it will turn out in the and who Yui will end up with.

    Nah, the real reason is because it isn’t your-typical-anime I guess :D

    From The boys I think 3 of them at least are ok characters to me:

    Shu>Subaru>Ayato

    • domshiki Says:

      Awww you’re making me blush <3

      LOL that should be the tagline of this game: degrading a poor human girl.

      Oh, I thought for sure that Yui would end up with Subaru or Shuu since those two are the most popular. Is it not made obvious in the anime?

      Haha Shuu and Subaru were definitely two of the better characters though I'm sorry I really couldn't stomach Ayato. Thanks for commenting!

  42. orenjichan92 Says:

    I was loling so hard with my friend in the middle if our night, didn’t even give a f- about her parents who were sleeping at the moment. You just made my night. I wonder if I would dream about your review this night because it was sooooo funny. Huehuehuehuehue… omg… I love the way you laugh the the stupidity of this moronic game. Can’t wait for your next post.
    Good luck with life. I hope you survive, just because I want another good laugh.

    • domshiki Says:

      Oh u don’t know how much that meant to me, I’m glad this made u bust a nut laughing <3 Despite everything, I had a shit ton of fun writing this review – this game is just made to be laughed at imo. Thanks so much, I hope to get BWS out by the end of this month and hopefully I haven't lost my touch at shitty reviews <3

  43. Omg, this game is even creepier than the awful anime they made of it xD I find Shuu super hot and I’m glad his personality isn’t as bad as his brother’s. Thanks for the review, I lol’d a lot while reading it and facepalmed because of the story.

    Cheers!

    • domshiki Says:

      Haha thanks for dropping by!

      Shuu actually is decent and less rapisty than all his other siblings. rofl i still havent gotten round to seeing how the anime is but i’m somewhat disappointed that they seemed to have toned down the level of creepiness in it. If only all the viewers know how twisted its base material is….

  44. Hialrious and entertaining review! I was in tears haha. 10/10
    I watched the first couple of eps of the anime and was lead here. It’s a ridiculous game/anime but your review was worth it!

    Thanks!

  45. […] a side note, I just discovered a this hilarious review of Diabolik Lovers the game. It’s absolutely worth the […]

  46. Sha! Says:

    Holy shit I just finished watching some eps of the anime and I’m just with a WTF?! O.O’ face and I gotta say this review just made my night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could not stop lol-ing with your expressions, specially this “Uhuebuehuehuehuehue u perve u jus wanted to me my naked man nipple” XD Muahahahaahahaahahaa
    Seriously I cannot believe anyone liked this crap, it’s completely unoriginal and shallow. And the same repetitive thing over and over and oveeerrrrr I mean staph! I’m not sure if you saw the anime but *SPOILERS* when good-for-nothing heroine gets a chance to gtfo of psycho house she just stays put, when she gets a shot at killing sum deranged vamps she says shes not afraid of them…. I mean RLY! GAWD……
    Anyways thank you so much for this review, rly it sheds some light on why the anime is as fucked up as it is x) 10/10

    ps I absolutely despise kanato too, ayato is a dick and light made me lol shuu is the relatively normal one so sad -.-

  47. Le Bitch Is Here. Says:

    I’m sorry that i love you’re review. I could die of fandom, but im not like those stupid whore’s in there bedroom fawning over hot animated guys..Anyways. I love you ;w; Keep up da good work you Funny lil shit!

    • Le Bitch Is Here AGAIN Says:

      Btw, youre perfect. Not to be creepy, but ill marry you one day. I dont even care if youre 19. Bitch yo ass is mine …I mean youre body and soul. You can keep yo ass to yo self cx

  48. Blue Says:

    I think your review was hilarious and pretty much relegated this game for me from curious to “use for learning Japanese” game. The bad news is they made a sequel and I heard it’s even worse. And I won’t doubt for a second that they’ll probably make a sequel of the sequel that will make your eyes bleed.
    =___=
    Man… I just realized that eyes bleeding is kind of ironically fitting for this game. The anime is still pretty creepy. If the game is worse than that… I’m sorry you were forced into reviewing it. (And that I was so thoroughly entertained by your pain.)

  49. I played 1-2 rounds of the chinese translated version and I say I HATE this game, the guys just mistreat the female lead and I feel like the girl is just their bloodbag, I don’t feel the love or affection from them towards the girl. It’s a little bit too much for my taste. Normally, I’m fine with bad guys bullying the girl as long as I can feel their strong love for the girl and it’s not that offensive but THIS IS NOT LOVE. It’s just some hungry vampires eating on the poor girl. There’s only one guy who’s the most normal out of the bunch, which is probably Subaru and maybe Shuu… but still, none of them are normal.

    Btw, i hate Kanato with a passion, LOL! I’m not a big fan of chibis or short guys and plus he’s so extreme and crazy, he likes to scream a lot like a maniac, it’s SUPER creepy, don’t know why people like his route. Light is just UGH! I hate vulgarities, bitch is not a nice name to call someone, I feel offended whenever he calls the girl a bitch. You’re the true bitch! I’ll rather have sexual SM than this kind of mental abuse I have from them, enough is enough!

    I better go and play amnesia kent route again to filter out all the bad feelings I got from this game, LOL! I need some peace and love!

  50. LOL Reheater! xD
    Call me delayed, but I just watched the whole anime. All the episodes are 15 minutes long. Like what even–
    But anyway, his name is Richter (Rick-ter). Seriously, Ayato just made me go like “This boy has issues.” Kanato just creeps the shit out of me. EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM DOES. From his personality to his voice and to his looks ;;
    As for Raito, his character is…meh. But I find it amusing how he calls the protagonist ‘Little Bitch’ xD I mean, kinda better than being called ‘Pancake’ ._.
    Reiji. I have nothing to say about Reiji tbh. The only routes that I found decent were Subaru’s and Shuu’s.

  51. ♥ Ring ♥ Says:

    Reblogged this on ♥ Ring Slothy ♥.

  52. Alison Says:

    I laughed hard af. yes the game was pretty retarded but so was the manga. the anime was pretty good but i just liked the cgs for the game XD

    • domshiki Says:

      LMAO yeah the art honestly is fab (cept for fucking taylor momsen Kanato) but beyond that it’s just a horrible trainwreck imo.

  53. Alison Says:

    OMGGGGGGG I REALLY HATED this game so much! This review made me say omfg YES, YES FINALLY SOMEONE SAID THEY HATED THIS GAME! My friends were like wow this game is so romantic and hot, I just said uh no just, no. This game makes no fucking sense! I MEAN COME ON WHO WOULD WANT TO BUY THIS GAME JUST TO GET YOUR BODY SUCKED BY SOME DOUCHY GUY, THAT ONLY CARES YOUR BLOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! J-JUST ARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! cough cough…..excuse me for a moment….anyway, The plot has no meaning whatsoever, the main haracter just me made me want to STRANGLE her, UGh, and the guys we complete weirdos. WHAT A RIPOFF. They even have an anime for this, hahhhh. This is actually my favorite review from you and made me lol so much! Also you said you hope ozmafia wont be as bad as this game, I will be looking foward to your review on it cause i like that otome game!

  54. Jellyfish Says:

    this was amazing hahahahah i never expected the game to be shittier than the anime bc my friends were all ‘omfg its so nice gasps anime dun do it justice’ and im just like wow ok

    also the anime was really meh like every episode just got an ‘orly’ reaction from me and im supposed to be a sucker for sob stories but apparently even the sob stories here are too much like guys pls how is this amazing well maybe the art and voices but neh-

    and your review was amazing i cant stop laughing i never thought there would be people who dont like it most of the people around me go omfg its so nice

    u da man OvO)b

    • domshiki Says:

      HAHA thanks, I’m glad you found my review entertaining. I guess it just depends on tastes eh since this was such a polarising game where you either loved it or hated it. I honestly just found playing this game to be thoroughly uncomfortable because I was expected to like these abusive wifebeaters after finding out about their sob stories. As if magical Freudian excuses justify all the torture that they put Bitch-chan through, you know. It reminded me too much of the rape culture that perpetuates society today :/

  55. Mikijoi Says:

    Even though this game was too abusive for me, I loved the art. Oh god the glorious art. I actually hate ayato and laito because they’re jerks. I get the appeal of jerk characters, but not S&M themes. I was thinking of playing this one, but learning about it…I think I’ll pass.

  56. Akane Says:

    your choice of words are quite harsh, but I have to admit that most of it are true XD i’ve been wanting to play what is this game name again… diabolik lovers but i’ve seen some reviews and all of it just seem… negative? well anyway, i love your style of writting!

  57. Yosuke Says:

    Oh god don’t tell me you’re going to play the sequel too?

  58. LMAO, I don’t like this game. The writer don’t know the difference between abuse and BDSM.

    Also freudian excuse like seriously? How about NO -_-

  59. AnimeFreak Says:

    After watching the anime and reading a LOT of the game review, I’ve come to this conclusion:

    This game should have just been liked for its massive amount of fanservice and pretty art instead of its (nonexistent) plot and character.

    I liked the early concept. An innocent female thrown into a mansion with hot vampires surrounding it. And then, like most otome games, the protagonist picks choices in routes and try to find her happy ending together with a bishie vampire of her choice. I also liked the art. It’s very pretty. But that’s about it. Those are the only likeable thing in this damn game. The rest was just… blah.

    I do agree that the most of the characters actions are because of reasons regarding their past. But it doesn’t completely justify it. The way it was portrayed, it sounds like a really weak excuse to give the character a more in-depth feel to them so that we can sympathize with them. Which I don’t. And the protagonist…. I swear, female protagonist are getting stupider and stupider. Especially the coffee scene with Kanato. Kanato, a VAMPIRE, tells you he is thirsty, and you bring him coffee?! And the way she just almost always submitted to everything… gah that drove me nuts. I get that she’s supposed to be this innocent teenager, but really the way she responded to everything is ridiculous, it’s not even funny.

    Frankly speaking, this game should have been made without a plot. It would be better as a fanservice game than an otome game. And the only thing worth downloading is the CG pack. I guess this game’s target audience are people who have a thing for massive, bloody fanservice, abusive vampires and spineless protagonists. I’m glad I decided to ditch the game and the anime halfway. I don’t think I could stand the characters, let alone the plot. You have my full respect for being able to complete the game, write a review about it and withstand the rage from abusive vampire lovers. I will now offer virtual gold, brownies and cookies at the virtual altar I set up in honor of your amazing patience in completing practically plotless games. I hope you are fine dealing with the fans of the game.

  60. Soniasonia Says:

    OMG this is hilarious. Your descriptions reminded of me of “Togainu no chi”, as both are very dark and full of rape fetish. Since I mentioned it, can you repost your review of “True Blood”? It’s unaccessable. Returning to game itself, I wanted to play it after reading your review just for cheap laughs for its horribleness. Surprisingly, I found this game better than expected, I liked Subaru’s path and eventually simpatized with most of the characters. I really liked Cordelia. Shame she was treated as the villian of the game, which is especially hypocritical when comparing her actions to the boys’. ANyways, your comments were fun :)

  61. Toumei Says:

    I didn’t read all but I had to agree with you though.

    From all the reviews and translated walkthroughs (Personally, the only few dating sim involved I find reasonable are Harvest Moon, Avalon Code, and Rune Factory ww As for Rejet’s, Ken Ga Kimi is way more tame and better with both characters and plot compared to DiaLovers in my view), I can only see Subaru to be… you know, way more sane as the route goes because Subaru, despite all his violent tendencies actually mellowed out of it by the end of the good end. (Doesn’t say much of the other routes available for him but eh…) Actually, Subaru’s the only good route that I find because he seemed to be the one to genuinely care in the end.

    At first, I was curious of the anime seeing Kaji Yuki but the shortness made me go “Nope”. When I found out of the game, “I just think “No. Too dark. Too disturbing. And Yui’s too plain.”

    The plainness was rather justified since it’s different for each guy but still not very likeable.

    Your comments were fun to read at though. ww

  62. Fluffytail Says:

    Okay I don’t really this this game/anime/manga series is that great and I’m not really defending it but like….your style of typing is really annoying and try hard-y it was actually hard to read it without wanting to roll my eyes. Do you still go on 4chan or something? First of all, you accuse Ayato of being that type to probably bully the kid with down syndrome, yet you use the word “retarded” so casually and way too much, it’s tacky and douchey and contradictory. And what you said about Kanato, “especially those who raid their mom’s makeup and smear black shit under their eyes in an attempt to look edgy and misunderstood” lol. Maybe you’re the stupid one here but has it ever occurred to you that dark shadows under the eyes in anime probably aren’t supposed to actually be makeup, but rather literal underbags from being tired/lack of sleep, therefor adding onto Kanato’s obviously intended CREEPY sadist lolita character? And people wearing heavy and dark eye makeup doesn’t mean they’re trying to be edgy or misunderstood my god you’re so pretentious and annoying and this was a horrible review and I honestly don’t know why I kept reading lmao. It’s late here and I’m bored, that’s probably why. The game gets a better rating than you in my book.

    • Lol youre mad about this review and youre defending a video game character? Obviously you didnt even see what was wrong with the whole game and making it seem as if rape is “okay” and sexy. -_-. Youre obviously a fan considering yourr offended by what was said in the review about a Character. Lol.

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