Otome Game Review – Hanayaka Nari, Waga Ichizoku

Alternative Titles: 華ヤカ哉、我ガ一族

Company: Otomate

Release Date:01.07.10

Official Site:http://www.otomate.jp/hanaichi/

Platform: PSP

Genre: AVG, otome, romance, comedy, drama,  historical, maid

Plot Summary: Haru’s this idiot country bumpkin who goes to the city in order to find a job to get mulaz to support her family.  Through sheer coincidence, she meets the Miyanomori family’s head maid (Chitomi) and info house dude (Kisuke) and she gets hired.  She’s all “YES MEIDO JOB FUN” but really, what’s waiting for her is a life of hell tending to the every need of the 6 very different brothers – and a SHITLOAD OF FAMILY DRAMA

Haru’s quickly brought into the servants’ quarters and another maid called Tae is assigned to teach her the maid way of life. Tae’s a tsundere bitch who bitches abt Haru, screams at her and pranks her just for kicks but Haru’s too  nice dumb to care.  Haru’s still pretty happy ere but she then meets the brothers and after half of em start bitching abt how maids are trash, lower than bugs and not even human, she quickly realises that maid life = no fun.

On a separate note, all the bros  have different mothers and were born only to become strong potential heirs to the Miyanomori line.  To avoid confusin ma shitty brain, here we go (eldest to youngest):

Tadashi – Sumida Sanae

From a rich family but has been gettin weaker and weaker.  Proud, big time  bitch to everyone

Isami – Honjouin Toki

Rich and powerful family.  Somewhat of a deadpan snarker, she’s more like a girlfriend Haru can tell anything to and has a good relationship with Isami.

Shigeru – Yasuda Shizuko

From a normal family.  Has a lotta connections and used to be the numbah 1 Geisha (worked as a prostitute too) in the Kansai region.

Susumu – Ariyoshi Fumiko

Normal non rich ass background.  Tennen to the max and is kind and gentle.

Hiroshi – Saeki Yoshi

From very influential family and Yoshi’s dad = the Saeki head who’s kinda like king of jp of sorts.

Masashi – Imura Chiyoko

From a rich family which deals in ‘designer kimonos’ or summin.  Passive, meek and on shit terms with Masashi who resents her for usin him to be an heir.

Tadashi

Eldest brother and works as a banker or summin.  Stoic, cold asshole who sees Haru as a shitty maid, nothing more.  Like mother like son, his mom’s a giant douchebag who treats Tadashi as a way to bring her family back up through Tadashi becomin the next Miyanomori head.  34.

So everyday, Haru gets kicked around by the brothers and the other maids and since she’s a dojikko, she messes up 99.999% of the time and consequently gets kicked around some more.  After gettin a screamin by one of the brothers, she finds herself havin to suppress her tears in a show of rare kindness, Tadashi gives her a motivational speech which just makes Haru glomp the guy and start crying her eyes out in his chest while  Tadashi’s just like “FUCKING GET OFF ME” :@:@:@

The Miyanomori head, Genichirou then announces that he’s gonna be retiring as the head soon and instead of splittin his fortune btwn all his sons, one of em is gonna be chosen as the head and inherit all the muniz. Gen’s pretty bored so they’re all gonna have a lil competition: “ENTERTAIN ME.” Whoever gets 10 points win.  Simple as that.

Gen then takes notice that Tadashi seems to kinda pay more attention to Haru than all the other maids and thus takes her as his own personal maid.  I tell you, this old man’s a giant bag of dicks but he’s an AWESOME bag of dicks and likes nothin more than to fuck around with his kids so he decides to do so with Tadashi at the dance.  Poor unsuspecting Tadashi’s just enjoyin himself when Gen suddenly pushes Haru into Tadashi and goes “DANCE FOR ME.  NAO.  OR I TAKE AWAY YOUR POINTS” so Tadashi has no choice but to dance XD

Well the dance changes Haru’s relationship with Tadashi for the btr and the guy gives her the keys to his room.  Meanwhile, Gen gets a phonecall relayin the news that the Saeki head has just been assassinated.  Kisuke (the info house dude rmb) goes to Gen days later after investigating the murder and warns Haru to be careful of Tadashi.

Haru tells Tadashi wot Kisuke said to her and Tadashi does some investigatin on his own.  Gen then makes Haru the personal maid of Tadashi, with the ulterior intention of spying on Tadashi.  On Christmas Haru hands Tadashi a gift:

Haru: Um…Have this!

Tadashi: ?

Haru: Er…for tolerating my… incompetent maid skills and insolence 24/7 and such…here’s a present…for you.

Tadashi: …for me?

Haru: Y-yes…Do you not accept  gifts from maids?

Tadashi: ! Uh, no…

Haru: …too true…there’s no way you’d take anything from a maid.  Forgive my idiocy and forget about this please.

Tadashi: N-no it’s not that, so-

Haru: Such a shame, I wanted you to have this…but I guess it can’t be helped huh…oh of course I wasn’t expecting anything in return, I mean I just wanted to give you this.

Tadashi: That’s not what I-

Haru: Ah the car’s here.  Let’s go!

Tadashi: W-wait! Give me that!

Haru: You don’t have to force yourself, it’s alright!

Tadashi: THAT’S MINE ALREADY SO HAND IT OVER!!

Haru: IYA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Tadashi: STFU THIS IS AN ORDER NOW SO GIVE ME! *grabs present*

Haru: Ah.

Tadashi: Tch took you long enough.  *opens* …Oi.  What the fuck is this shit.

Haru: Um yeah!  You pay me shit so I could only get you shit.

Tadashi: I SAID WTF IS THIS SHIT.

Haru: …mittens.  You wear them on your hands-

Tadashi: You want me to wear this.

Haru:…

Tadashi:  …How old do you think I am?  And what the hell are these red bits of crap?!

Haru:  Strawberries…

Tadashi: Str-strawberries…?

Haru: I-I thought nice bright colours would suit you! ARGH WOTEVA JUST GIVE IT BACK TO ME!! *reaches for gift*

Tadashi: …!  OI DONT TAKE MY STUFF DUMB BITCH.

Haru: Eh?  You actually want that?

Tadashi:…I’m just accepting it.  There’s no way in hell I’m wearing them.

Haru: Thank you very much!  Now if you could just wear them-

Tadashi: FUCK YOU.

Ah Tadashi XD

Gen tells Tadashi that he’s been gettin some proof that Sanae payed “him” to kill Saeki so Tadashi starts interrogatin her.  His mom’s pissed that Tadashi dared to even suspect her and immediately cuts off all ties with Tadashi.  Tadashi tells Haru all this and Haru thanks Tadashi for trusting her so much.  She swears that she’ll always be on Tadashi’s side no matter wot and touched, Tadashi hugs her from behind and Haru suggests that now he go work on finding wot’s missin in his life.

Since then, Tadashi has actually become nice but nutin good lasts long so Haru is informed later on that she’s to be sent over to Sanae’s place to spy on her and Kisuke is now missin.  That nite, she tells Tadashi that she’s quittin as his personal maid n can’t tell him why so he just screams at her to nvr come back.  Next day, Haru is gone and everyone starts freakin cuz they dunno she’s at Sanae’s and Tadashi quickly works out wot his dad is doin – He is not happy.

Like mother like son, Sanae ain’t stupid either and cottons on wen Haru arrives and forbids her from gettin out or makin contact with Gen.  6 days pass and Tadashi is unable to get Haru out cuz his dad’s too good but he’s worked out who the “him” his dad keeps talking abt is and realises that “he” has joined hands with his mom cuz they both hate Gen and cuz “he” is back up for Sanae’s heir plans in case Tadashi fails.  Then Tadashi gets a brill idea and decides to get the 2nd brother, Isami to use his army forces and bust Haru out so Isami charges in with his troops and starts ransackin the place and hey, under the floorboards is a gagged and tied up Kisuke!   Sanae’s arrested and Haru taken back where she has a sweet reunion with Tadashi. Tadashi buys Haru from Gen n Sanae is released shortly afterwards cuz there ain’t enough evidence to convict her.

Tadashi concludes dat he and Haru are gettin waaay to close for master and maid so he removes her from bein his personal maid and the two distance each other.  Gen introduces a potential wife to Takashi and tells him that if he marries her, he’d get 5 points and thus become the next head.  Tadashi agrees and Haru decides to quit as a maid next month.

That night, Sanae shows up at the door, brandishin a knife like the mad cunt she is and starts hackin away at Haru when she refuses to let her pass. Haru loses consciousness and wakes up in her room and is told that Sanae’s family has collapsed and she’s gone batshit insane from that.  Tadashi comes into visit and tells her that he’s gonna get married.  He wanted to become the new head for Haru’s sake but soon realised that they were still master and servant and he can’t go beyond that.  It sucks balls really, cuz he’s finally found what he’s missin in his life – “It’s you, Haru.”

10 days pass and it’s the end of March.  All the other brothers have now heard that Haru’s gonna leave but hell no they ain’t gonna let that happen, not under their watch, so 6th brother Masashi hatches a plan to force Tadashi to get with Haru:

*knock on Tadashi’s door*

Tadashi: Who is it.

4th bro Susumu: It’s me Susumu!  Niisan, we got big shit on our hands!

Tadashi: *opens door* The fuck.

Susumu: I-it’s Haru san!  She’s actually leaving tonight and…uh…

Tadashi: What happened.

Susumu: Um…eeeeh…what was it again…

Tadashi: SPIT IT OUT.

Susumu: Ah yes!  She got hit by a car!

Tadashi: W-WOT?!?  WHERE IS SHE?!?!  WHERE.IS.SHE

Susumu: R-right outside!

Tadashi: …BALLSACKS *runs outside*

Susumu: Hoo, that was close, can’t believe I forgot my lines.

*outside*

Kisuke: That all you bringing with you?

Haru: Ah, yes. I ended up bringing only the things I needed so there isn’t much.

Kisuke: Alright then, let’s go-HRNGHSADIGOAISUGOIASDF87^*&$^#$&%%?!?

2nd bro Isami: *hand around Kisuke’s neck.  STFU and obey me.  If you don’t, I’ll rip off your head.

Kisuke: IDSUGTSDZ564567P0[24U5IYJVEOIVB&^$&*()

Haru: I-isami sama??

Isami: Good.  I’ll be taking Kisuke.  In other words, your departure will be delayed. *walks off with Kisuke*

Haru: Huh, what why how where when d’oh?

*3rd bro Shigeru shows up*

Haru: Shigeru sama??

Shigeru: Ahaha…hey.  You should run for your life now.

Haru: Eh…?

*5th bro Hiroshi runs in*

Hiroshi: *panting* SHIT MAN TADASHI’S COMIN AND HE’S FUCKING PISSED RUN HARUKICHI HE’S GONNA RAPE US ALL

Shigeru: RUN RUN RUN

Haru: ???? *runs anyway*

*Tadashi charges out*

Tadashi: WHERE IS SHE

Hiroshi: Ah Tadashi!  …shit wot were my lines again…

Masashi: “We tried to treat her wounds but she ran away”

Hiroshi: YEAH WE TRIED BUT SHE STILL RAN!

Tadashi: SAY WOT?!

Shigeru: Haru was scared of causin more trouble for you so she ran away!

Tadashi: EVEN AFTER SHE WAS HIT BY A CAR?!

Hiroshi: She really didn’t want to see meet you, she slipped rite outta our hands!

Tadashi: SHE WAS HEAVILY WOUNDED AND YOU STILL COULDN’T CATCH HER?!?  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!  FUCK I’LL GET HER MYSELF *dashes off*

Tadashi: *panting* I FOUND YOU NAO BITCH!!! GET BACK OVER HERE AND STOP RUNNING!!!

Haru: E-eh?!  Tadashi sama?! *runs even faster*

Tadashi: OI GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!!! …huh you can still talk??

Haru: ??

Tadashi:  But your wounds…?

Haru: What wounds?

Tadashi: *stops running* ………..

Haru: *stops running too* ………

Tadashi: …THOSE BASTARDS….

Tadashi confesses that hearin that she’s been run over made him face how much she means to him and he asks whether she’s willin to stay with him – “Fuck my marriage, fuck my dad, fuck everything else – I need you by my side.”

Isami

2nd bro, army dude who wants to achieve world domination.  Oresama guy who thinks he’s god and I thought he was gonna be pretty tsun the whole route but WOAH.  The later half of his route had me going “NISHISHISHISHI” the whole time, Miya style ;D   Is damn possessive – I cannot count how many times he has said “ORE NO MONO” throughout the game (or “KIISAAAAAMAAAAAAA” for that matter lol).  Shares a rivalry with Takashi.31.

Though he’s pretty dicking to Haru, he turns nice pretty fast as is shown when she gets lost during the summer festival and he comes back to get her.  He’s all pissy and drags her back, but when he sees she wants to see the fireworks, he sits down with her and they watch em together in the end.

lmfao for me when his mom Toki then tells Haru the reason why Isami still isn’t married:  When he was a kid, he was obsessed with the Grimm fairytales, to the extent that he learnt German just to read em.  He read about Snow White and from that day on, has been looking for a poisoned lady who’ll awaken when he kisses her XDXD

Isami then gets stabbed by the assassin “him”whilst trying to protect the Saeki head.  Haru’s shit worried and stays by his side.  When he wakes up, Haru is snoozin on his legs. He admits that it’s not that he wants to find a Snow White, it’s that reading the fairytales made him realise that there’s a lotta bad shit in the world and a lotta weak innocent ppl and he has no time for women if he wants to be out savin the world.   Then he sniggers at himself for talking to a sleeping maid but Haru then reveals she’s been awake the whole time and runs off after she tells him that he’ll definitely find a poisoned woman who’ll wake up from his kiss lololol that bitch XD

For the dance, Isami comes up with an idea of shockin Gen to get points: dance with a maid.  Haru’s the unfortunate maid he chooses and every night, she undergoes crazy spartan dancing training and Isami promises that if she does good, he’ll grant her permission to ask questions.  Amused, Gen awards Isami 5 points.

Soon after, Haru becomes Gen’s personal maid and Isami wants one too after seeing how convenient it is.  Lol he starts grinning like a perve and his brothers are all like:

Isami: So…what is a personal maid really?

Susumu: Hm, isn’t it just a maid who takes care of you from day to night?

Masami:Not just that.  It’s a maid you can do ANYTHING to and she can’t complain.  I want one too.

Isami: Heeeeh…a maid I can do anything to eh…*starts leering like some lolicon rapist*

Susumu:…Isami niisan, you’re grinning to yourself…

Isami:…!  I-it’s not what you think!  …I’m leaving!

Hiroshi: …Iyaaaaaa, what a pervert.  He was definitely thinking wrong.

Shigeru: Heheh seems like Isami niisan has a lotta hoes in the red light district u kno ;D

Masashi: …Dirty bastard.

Susumu: Ma-maaa…He can’t help it.  He is in the army…

WTF SUSUMU XDXD  Shortly after, Tae gets assigned to be his personal maid but Isami soon finds that havin a personal maid ain’t as a fun as he thought it to be cuz Tae’s a NORMAL maid.  Tae gets jealous of how close Haru is to Isami, throws a hissy fit and screams that she hates Haru and that she should just fuck off and quit already.  Haru chooses to quit cuz Tae’s more important to her than the job and Tae still thinks she’s rite still Isami bitchslaps her n Tae then realises wot a dumb jealous bitch she is and grabs Haru back, bff again.

Isami finds out abt “him” from Gen and is determined to kill the guy. The next day, it’s the winter holz and Isami has decided not to go to the winter beach house resort thing the whole family goes to each year in case “he” shows up again.  Haru’s on her way to returnin home but she’s too worried abt Isami so she flies outta the speedin car and rolls all the way home to Isami.  Isami’s like “WOT.THE.FUCK.” but is impressed so he steals Haru from Gen as his maid.

That night, Haru’s back in her room, tending to the wounds she got from jumpin from the car and Isami shows up.  He hugs her and is all “You’re MINE now.  What I do with you now is up to me.” and when Haru tries to protest, he just tells her to STFU “CUZ YOU’RE ORE NO MONO DA“.  Before he leaves, he promises her one thing, woteva she wants, to commemorate her becomin his maid.

Isami later on asks wot Haru wants as he promised her one thing, and she nervously says that he wants her to treat her as a normal girl.  Lol apparently, Isami has no experience with regular girls and mutters abt how all the women he ever went around with were prostitutes he fucked before he decides that he’ll treat Haru as his own woman and snogs her.  Haru’s all “WATASHI NO FUUAAAAASTO KIIIIIIIIISUUUUU ~ T.T” and promptly runs off after that.

Isami doesn’t get wot he’s done wrong so he goes to his mom for help.  Toki’s appalled at wot a socially retarded clown her son has become and drives over to the Miyanomori place directly. Isami’s does his “ORE NO MONO SO I CAN DO WOTEVA” thing again which pisses Toki off so she bitchslaps her son – “just cuz she’s yours, don’t mean u can do woteva with her!”.  This leads to Isami finally gettin his own feelings but the poor guy’s terrible at gettin it out so he has a “screw the words” moment and glomps Haru, sayin he’ll use her forever as an apology *Toki slaps forehead Kyon style*.

"Say it. Say that you love me. SAY IT OUT LOUD." -Isami XD

Isami starts gettin VERY touchy feely with Haru,  EXTREMELY nice to her and totally flips whenever anyone touches Haru.  Kisuke comes and tells Isami that “he” is comin tonight and indeed the guy shows up and Haru takes a good stabbing and is sent to the hospi.  Isami has come to a conclusion as to wot to do and tells a sleepin Haru that he’s gonna fire her when she wakes up…and marry her :D

Haru’s like “bitch u kiddin me” wen Isami proposes to her and sez dat she dont want him to give up everything for her so the idea’s put on hold till he becomes the head.  Isami has another bitchfite with “him” and this time actually manages to injure the guy and “he” runs off.

Gen tells Isami that he’ll give him the last 3 points he needs if he accepts this job from this top army taishou guy and go temporarily work in Osaka.  Things are lookin gd for Isami cuz nao he’s secured the position of bein the head and he gets down on his knees and swears some wedding vow to Haru but she starts cryin cuz Gen forced her into an engagement with the Taishou’s son.  But u kno, Isami’s a slow dumbass so he doesn’t notice a thing…till it’s too late.

But of course, he doesnt have 5 other brothers for no reason aite, so much like in Tadashi’s path, they all pitch in to help. Thet stop Isami and reveal to him wot’s up with Haru.  Now he has two choices: Run back now to stop the wedding, he gets Haru  but loses everything else.  OR go to Osaka, lose Haru but keep everything else.  Well it don’t take a genius to kno wot Isami does and he barges in to fuck up the wedding and is so pissed he tries to kill Gen but stops for Haru and thoroughly amused, Gen makes Isami the head in the end.

Soon rite after, the two have their white wedding n everyone’s invited.  Haru goes on abt how it’s like a dream and shiet which irks Isami cuz it’s their wedding, just pay attention to him and “SHUT UP AND KISS ME ALREADY BITCH” =D

Shigeru

3rd brother, messes around with Haru for kicks.  Lol he dresses like a gay man prostitute outta hanamachi and guess wot, I WAS RIGHT.  Ah no, my bad he just traps for his mom’s geisha bar thing and gets Haru to help out.  Relaxed, freethinking and outgoing, he hates bein tied down to anything and his other brothers see his crossdressin horseplay as shameful and feel that he’s an embarrassment to the whole family.  Not like he cares though so they can all kiss his ass.  26.

Does my character intro of Shigeru make him sound like a fun character to play?  Did you answer yes?  THEN YOU’RE FUCKING WRONG. He’s just a lil whiny, irresponsible, wangst filled used tampon.  AND HOW.

I thought he’d be pretty cool after he saved Haru from his unhinged maniac fangirls, but i too, was FUCKING WRONG. Later on on his birthday, Haru gets the guy a birthday present cuz she’s a nice girl but you know wot the asshole does?  Chuck it off the balcony.  Yeah.  On the claims that Haru would never have gotten it for him if she didn’t bump into him on the streets earlier that day so really, this present shouldn’t exist.  “See ya tomorrow Haru chan, I look forward to how you’re gonna approach me from now on ;D”.  While Shigeru was busy being a cocksucking angry dragon , I was busy putting him down on my “to painfully rape” list.  Moving on.

Next day he half realises wot a prick he was bein so he goes outside and retrieves the prezzie.  I say “half realises” cuz the nipplehead still thought he was right and walked up to Haru and said “Hey, lucky you, I decided to ACCEPT your gift.  I’m not gonna apologise cuz you’re the one at fault but I just wanted to let you know.  Toodlez ~”.  Later on, he invites Gen over to his trapping geisha host club thing and there, Gen tells him that unlike all the other brothers who were born for strengthening the Miyanomori family, Shigeru was born for the sole purpose of entertaining him.  Why else would he marry a prostitute eh?  A prostitute’s son would definitely be shunned no doubt, and Gen wanted to see how Shigeru would grow up to be under such shitty circumstances.  Shigeru gets real pissed and he tries to hack down Gen with a katana but the old man just laughs and says that he hasn’t reached his “full potential” yet so fuck off lil boy.  But it’s alrite cuz here’s a consolation prize Shigeru: you get 3 points for pulling that murder stunt.

After the Miyanomori ball, Shigeru drags Haru out and tells her how big time suck his life is.  He doesn’t understand himself even though he’s always been able to read everyone else pretty easy.  Trying to kill his dad has made him realise that he hates himself for being a weak, lost person and that’s when Haru hugs him and he starts baaawing.  Honestly I admire Haru for being able to forgive Shigeru and sit through that long emo speech of his =.=”

A couple of days after, Shigeru goes to the Saeki dance. Everyone’s havin a blast till shitbombs fall and Shigeru finds himself with the assassin.  The guy tells him to whip out his gun and shoot the Saeki head.  Kill the head or he’ll kill Shigeru.  Shigeru tries to fite back but the assassin puts his hand on Shigeru’s hand that’s on the gun and pulls the trigger, killing the Saeki head.  The guy flees after takin a stab at Shigeru and Shigeru’s sent to the hospi.

Haru’s real worried and spends the next month or so tendin to Shigeru who can’t appreciate a damn thing she does and screams at her to GTFO cuz a stupid lowly maid has nutin to do with him.  Haru refuses to go till Shigeru snaps and starts shriekin that he’s a murderer and he killed the Saeki head.  Haru tells him it ain’t his fault but Shigeru just yaks on till Haru tells him to man up and stop bitchin about shit and then does Shigeru STFU.

Round abt ere, Shigeru realises that he’s into Haru and invites her over to the winter hideout thing.  There, he tells Haru that he actually has a girl she likes, very cute and younger than him, but says no more.  Haru realises her feelings too and is pretty torn up and Tae tells her to give up.

When they return, Shigeru still flirts with Haru till she can’t take it and tells Shigeru to fuck off cuz he’s makin life hard for her.  Even Tae can’t stand how he’s messin around with Haru and says to him to leave her bff the hell alone.  Shigure finally grows some balls and confesses to Haru and they enter into some secret forbidden relationship.

Now Shigeru’s got wot he wants, he prances into Gen’s room and tells him that he ain’t taking part in your balls competition.  Gen gets pissed cuz that’s not how he wants it to play out so he threatens to kill Haru – after all, she knows about Shigeru ‘killin’ the Saeki head and info like that cud ruin the Miyanomori family if it got out ;)  Gen orders Shigeru to kill “him” in at a specific location and time.

Shigeru grudgingly agrees n Shigeru proposes to Haru and tells her to wait for him.  However, unbeknownst to Shigeru, Gen has already fired Haru and she’s not allowed to tell anyone.  Haru starts baawing but assures Shigeru it’s cuz she’s happy so it’s all good.

On the day, Shigeru heads out to kill “him” but “he” tells Shigeru to  tellGen that he killed “him”.  Shigeru does just that and wen he returns, he goes into rage mode wen he finds Haru missing, grabs his gun and tries to kill Gen.  “He” shows up too and Gen realises he’s been had but he can’t escape and “he” slashes the old man.  “He” is about to kill Gen but Shigeru moves the gun to “him” and shoots, saving Gen.  Gen’s taken to the hospi and “he” escapes.

Shigeru jumps into his car and after telling Gen that he’s leavin the Miyanomori family to be with Haru, he drives down to Haru’s place where he tells her wot happened.  Haru apologises for leavin and they make up and live together with Haru’s family.

Susumu

4th popo brother.  I wasn’t interested to play him cuz he’s the nice guy and non 18+ otome games generally keep their nice guys nice ie terribly boring.  But just like in Shigeru’s case, i was FUCKING WRONG. This guy’s a prime example of “beware the nice ones” and is actually pretty messed up in the head (of course, not yandere furry dendrophiliac nuts).  Appears to be a wonderfully nice awesome cop and acts as the peace keeper.

Like everyone else, Haru initially thinks that Susumu is a great guy – he’s always nice to her n appears to be the sane out outta the family.  He brings his bff cop Sumida Sanji over and they all get cosy and nice together till of course, der big shit happens.

At the Saeki ball, Susumu is assigned to be Gen’s bodyguard and Haru gets a message that Susumu is gonna die there so she races over and there Sanji is, pointing a gun to Susumu’s head.  Sanji works for “him” and got close to Susumu to get info on the Miyanomori family and now, “he” has decided that the first to go will be Susumu.  Of course Haru takes the shot and that’s when Susumu’s “true self” is revealed.  Susumu whips out his gun and Sanji thinks it’s a bluff but:

Susumu: *deep evil voice* You shouldn’t have done that.

Sanji: Che put that away biiicc boiiiiii.  You ain’t gonna shoot me aite?  I’m your ‘friend’ rmb?

Susumu: …the fuck you talking about? *shoots*

Sanji: GAH AOIFSOAGBOASD

Susumu: I’m gonna kill you.

Sanji: SKLDFHNS^%*& SUSUMU!!

Susumu: Begging for your life now? You picked the wrong person to piss off. *shoots again* Die. *3rd shot*

Haru wakes up in Susumu’s room and Susumu doesn’t rmb wot happened the night before but is awarded 5 points.  He tells Haru that the same thing happened when he was a kid and when he came to, he was wielding some BFS and Gen was on the ground bleeding.  His “true self” shows again and he says that the only thing he gives a shit abt is himself.  He can’t really ‘feel’.  He doesn’t want other ppl to kno wot he’s really like so he acts nice but Haru ain’t put off and just tells him to be who he is.

Sanji pulls through and continues workin for “him”.  Over the next few months, Haru accompanies Susumu and she’s the only one he shows his true self to.  “He” then orders Sanji to marry Haru as punishment for failing to kill Susumu and Haru can’t reject cuz if she does, the Sumida family’ll cut down her family.  Susumu suddenly finds himself getting extremely irritated when he finds out and tries to stop Haru but Haru just bitchslaps him. He can’t understand why it’s gettin on his nerves – he’s never cared abt anyone else – and concludes that it must be cuz it’s Sanji she’s marrying.

Durin the winter holz, Susumu stays bak n he confides in his mom abt him being annoyed with the marriage and doesn’t get cuz he’s never cared abt anyone else.  Fumiko suggests that perhaps it’s not that he has no interest in anyone else, it’s that he hasn’t found anyone interesting – and now he has.  The rest is up to him to figure out though and Shigeru comments on how if you want summin, u’d do anything to get it – steal it if you must.

So Susumu does.  At the actual matchmaking, Susumu sneaks in and grabs Haru from behind, telling her not to go to Sanji cuz he doesn’t want to hand her over to anyone.  However it’s too late and hearing Haru say no, Susumu apologises and backs off.

Susumu finally realises that he is indeed in love with and is all 「嘘だ嘘だ嘘だ嘘だ嘘だ嘘だ嘘だ」abt it but he doesn’t have time to ponder this cuz Sanji’s coming to kill him tonight.  He waits for his ex bff to show up but “he” appears instead and is abt to kill Sanji hu shows up seconds later but Susumu becomes Sanji’s meat shield cuz he still thinks of Sanji as a friend.  The marriage is then cancelled cuz the Sumida family falls and is nothing.

With Kisuke’s help, Susumu works up the courage to confess to Haru but Haru runs away cuz she’s still a maid.  Things are awkward btwn the 2 and “he” suddenly shows up in Gen’s room to kill him.  “He” is about to smush Gen’s brains but samurai Susumu busts in and stabs “him” and tells the guy to GTFO now.

Susumu goes to Haru’s room and there, she tearfully admits that she really does like him but she’s a maid and they can’t ever be together.  Yeah like that’s gonna stop samurai Susumu so he hugs her and tells her that he’s gonna make her happy.

I lmfaoed pretty bad at the epilogue cuz guess wot,  Susumu x Haru ain’t the only couple around: SANJI AND TAE are also made a couple.  It actually works pretty well, tsundere x 2 (yes Sanji is actually pretty tsundere) but Tae is totally wearing the pants in the relationship and kicks Sanji around XD  Well, Susumu ends up with Haru and whilst shoppin, decides to make out with her some back alley for fun lol.

Hiroshi

5th brother.  Lol I initially saw him as the cute happy kiddy guy but then I heard his voice, went like “WAIT A TICK…” and realised it was Kishio Daisuke ie Makoto from Sweet Pool.  Yeah and those who have played the game know wot dat means.  After that, I couldn’t help but keep drawin similarities btwn Hiroshi and Makoto: Both smiley outgoing guys like Kazehaya, both have their own obsessions , Makoto = fast food Makoto = Youji (BIG TIME) and Hiroshi = Haru n inventing things and both have problems figuring out their own feelings.  Only thing left is whether Hiroshi will go yandere and rape Haru and then eat her alive – we’ll just have to see ere >;) 18.

So unlike everyone else, Hiroshi takes this giant instant liking towards Haru the minute she shows up and from then on proceeds on to give her his funky inventions and drag her around everywhere.  When he hears she’s gonna get into some matchmakin engagement, he tears after her all the way to her country home, bursts into her house and is all “NO MARRY I TAKE HARU”  and then he gets this retarded idea that he should just really marry Haru so they’d be “together forever”.  Haru is not amused; Hiroshi ditches that idea…for now.

The head of his mom’s side of the family, Saeki, decides that Hiroshi’s gonna head over to England next year.  Hiroshi’s pretty excited and makes Haru a watch that counts down the days till he has to leave and he’s all “herpa derp why u not happy with dis??” when Haru just looks at it all :(.  When the dance comes around, Hiroshi asks Haru to dance with him but gets rejected cuz u kno, maid and rich dude don’t mix.  Hiroshi doesn’t understand why Haru won’t bliddy dance with him and the youngest asshole bro Masashi decides to fuck around a lil and ORDERS Haru to dance with him or he’s gonna fire her.  Hiroshi catches wind of this and I got huge Makoto vibes when he started throwing a massive fit n screaming at Haru why it can’t be him.   Things remain shit btwn em till Kisuke tells him “BE.A.MAN.TAKE HER BY FORCE” and lol, at the dance Hiroshi grabs Haru during the dance in front of everyone and runs off with her.

The Saeki head is assassinated later on and the head’s death somehow leads all the way back to marrying Haru and Hiroshi runs home to tell her about it.  Haru’s irked and to make Hiroshi understand, she suggests that he try tellin this to Gen and his bros and see how they react.  Much to her “OH SHIT”, Hiroshi does just that but Gen just bitchslaps him for being a bloody child and cuz Hiroshi really is a bloody child, he throws a fit and runs from home.  He gets found by his mom and Haru quick though, and Yoshi ain’t happy wen he hears Hiroshi’s reason for wantin to marry Haru – “Cuz I wanna be with her”.  Haru snaps and screams that Hiroshi is a brainless fool cuz marriage ain’t gonna let em be together, he’s still gonna go away for 5 years and she’ll still be left waiting for him.  So he wants to marry her and then ditch her for half a decade? Fuck that.  This serves as a good wake up call for Hiroshi hu now understands wot she’s gettin at and apologises for being a dumb kid.

On Christmas day, Hiroshi gives Haru a locket he made and invites her over to the winter beachhouse thing woteva.  Having cleared his head now, he confesses to Haru but fail for him cuz she still doesn’t get her feelings.  No biggie though, cuz Hiroshi’ll wait.

At the winter thing, the beachhouse caretaker decides to spice things up by having some competition for the Miyanomori bros’ photo album, apparently chock full with naked drunken pics and wotnot.  Hiroshi then pulls Haru down on him cuz he wants to hear her say she like him too but fail again cuz Haru likes to play hard to get lol.

Days later, Hiroshi gets a letter from “him” and the assassin appears and tries to kill Hiroshi.  Lucky for him, Haru takes the blow and all the other brothers then rush in and the assassin runs.

Haru’s sent to hospi and her nearly gettin killed forces Hiroshi to accept that he’s just a weak lil kid hu can’t do anything like Isami or Susumu.  He says he’s got summin to tell Haru after he takes care of some shit.  He goes out to find “him” and forces the guy to leave em all alone by linking a book “he” wrote called “Hanayanari Wagaichizoku” with Saeki’s murder (that’s the gist of things anyway).

Finaary it’s the day Hiroshi graduates.  Haru goes to congratulate Hiroshi who tells her that he’s made up his mind on wot to do: break up with Haru.  He still likes her and always will but he now knows that making her wait 5 years for him or draggin her along is completely unfair.  He’ll come back in 5 years and the two agree that they’ll get married then if they still like each other.

Before leaving, Hiroshi alters Haru’s watch and changes it to a countdown till the day he comes back.  Haru swears she’ll still like him 5 years after so he’d btr be the same and he leaves.

Finally, it’s 5 years after.  Haru goes outside and hides the bushes to wait for Hiroshi, fretting over whether he still likes her or not.  Hiroshi shows up looking all grown up and is about to head inside but hears summin in the woods and knows it’s Haru.  He tells her that he still likes her even after 5 years and when she tells him the same, he charges over, picks her up and kisses her before announcing that the first thing they gotta do now is get married :)

Masashi

Tsundere little brother.  No that doesn’t quite cover it.  Perhaps  FUCKING. BRATTY .SHITPILE OF TSUN. Yeah that does it.  The eldest two bros treat Haru like crap but my lord this guy takes it to a whole new level, summin i will bitch abt later on.  Goddamn I was going “MUST KILL BRAT” but of course, he did all that shit cuz he’s a giant lonely tsuntsuntsundere and ends up being completely adorable after he takes that ginormous XXXLLL dildo outta his tiny ass.  Does wot he wants where and when he wants, and you will NOT touch his shit if you know wots good for you – no srsly, u will not be forgiven, not even if ur his dad. The smartest, most cunning out of all the brothers.16.

He makes Haru prepare giant complicated lunches for him and then makes her bring em to his far-ass school, only to trash the shit and tell her to go the fuck home; breaks all the stuff Hiroshi makes for her and trashtalks her at every opportunity he has, trying to get her fired 24/7 365.  From day to night, all he ever says is:”最低下品虫ゴミ触るな馬鹿使用人” and exhausts himself terrorizing Haru that he collapses and has a fever lol.  Even normally happy Hiroshi can’t take his bullshit and warns Masashi to never touch his shit anymore – Haru included.

The more time he spends bitching abt Haru, the more he finds himself feeling at peace when he’s with her.  When Haru’s abt to become Gen’s personal maid, he bunks school and runs home and steals her from his dad on the claims that “if she’s gone, I won’t have anybody to fuck with” – ah so tsundere. She gets left at the beach cuz she’s too busy playin instead of working and Masashi is nice enough to come back and get her.  The two then proceed on to write insults on the sand till Masashi starts laughing and Haru’s like “ZOMG UR SMILING *writes “A…HA….HA….HA…HA” into sand*” lol.

For the dance, Masashi orders Haru to dance with him cuz she’s the only person he can touch without feeling grossed out *HINT*.  Haru practices for the dance outside with a broom and gets caught by Isami who’s thoroughly amused by this retarded maid.  Masashi however, ain’t the least bit amused when he sees this and thinks that Haru is practicin her dance with Isami and “ONLY I CAN DANCE WITH YOU BITCH”.  The dance is going smoothly but u kno, Haru IS  a dojikko so she trips…and lands on Masashi’s lips *nishishishishishi*.  To my utmost surprise, Masashi didn’t have that tsundere reaction and was totally chill with it.  Haru’s relieved that he’s seems cool with it but yeah rite, Masashi then decides that he’s gotta take responsibility for his actions XDXD

And how?  TAKE HARU AS HIS WAIFU.  So the idiot walks around on the streets and asks random strangers wot he should do and Kisuke tells him that datin comes before marriage so take Haru out somewhere.  As he plays this datin game with her, his feelings of “must take responsibility” change to “I want to make her mine” (of course he doesn’t know wot the latter means)  and tries to kiss her again in some crowded public area >w<

Haru realises dat to Masashi, marriage and becomin his maid = same thing so she suggests that she becomes his maid and settle for that.  He takes notice that his mom Chiyoko keeps showing up to see Gen around ere and investigates.  His mom’s family has been openin a couple of branch shops around the Miyanomori area lately and he wants to kno “why now?” so he gets Haru to nick summin from Gen and he concludes that Gen’s stealin the top customers from his mom’s family, business shit like that.

Masashi talks to his mom abt it n his mom sez that she knows that she’s bein used but wot can do she abt wen women are oppressed n that’s all she’s worth?  It don’t matter no more cuz she’s leavin the family and u kno wot else? “I hate you Masashi.  Giving birth to you ruined my life and stripped me of my freedom.  But enough of that, I’m leaving.  I’m getting my freedom back.”

Masashi emoes for a bit till Haru puts on a fake crying act to get him to tell her everything.  She then comments on how Masashi is kinda like Tae: FUCKING TSUNDERE and they always say the opposite of wot they really mean, prompting Masashi to go 「最低使用人！！　お前が一番嫌い！！」 and Haru to then follow up “so wot u really mean is “the best maid evar!!” and “i like you the most!!” XD  She gets a fever in the snow from waitin for Masashi to get her a prezzie and back at the mansion, he visits her and hands her the gift – a voodoo doll lol.

Next day, Haru wakes up to this unearthly shit smell and sees Masashi holdin a pot of crap he made for her.  No doubt it tastes like mouldy balls but she’s touched anyway and thanks Masashi, leading him to have another tsundere fit of “BAKABAKABAKABAKA”.  Masashi then comes up with a plan to get points and that’s to kill Gen so he goes off to find a hitman and omg, who does he find?  Yup, “HIM”.

But Masashi ain’t the only one with shit up his sleeve and Gen decides to fire Haru by failin her next maid exam.  I must say Msashi keeps impressin me with his perceptiveness n uncanny ability to stay calm – he doesn’t flip wen he hears this and just snidely says to his dad that “I warned you not to touch my shit.  You’re gonna pay now.”  He gets “him” to cut Gen half dead and sets out to get Haru.  Haru can’t believe Masashi actually tried to kill his own dad which pisses Masashi off cuz he’s doin it all for her but Haru grabs him from behind, thanks him and tells him not to do anything as reckless every again.  5 points for Masashi.

"You're the only one I can touch like this without feeling grossed out. I wonder why that is" - Masashi

Masashi wants to give up on bein the head cuz he figures he’s got Haru already aite so he don’t need nutin else but “he” threatens to kill his whole family and Haru if he doesn’t go thru with bein the head and killin Gen.  Of course Masashi ain’t the smartest bro for nutin and quickly works out who “he” is and uses it to his advantage – “Ain’t that right, NIISAN?”.  Masashi orders the guy to fuck off if he doesn’t want to tell the whole world this so “he” has no choice but to do so.  Masashi is made the head.

It appears that it’s smooth sailin from here on but noooo, Gen hasn’t had enough fun yet so he hands Haru some dough and kicks her out.  Masashi sends “him” to really kill Gen this time and frantically searches for Haru, who has ended up in Kyoto in Chiyoko’s new shop.  Needless to say, Masashi chases after.

Haru: Welcome-

Masashi:…the fuck you doing ere.

Haru:…you really came…and I thought I’d never see you again T.T

Masashi: Tch, I didn’t want it to end like that.

Haru: Same here but…

Masashi: That lil shitpile…I warned him not to do shit like this again but goddamn-

Haru: HORRYYY SHIT WOT U DO THIS TIME??

Masashi: Shut up!  I failed so wot.

Haru: “failed”?  So you really tried to kill your dad again??  OMFGKJSNGOAG .  WOT WERE U THINKING.

Masashi: …!  i cudnt help it, that old man just pissed me off.

Haru: Haah fine but I’m glad you came to look for me :D

Masashi: Huh wot u talking abt bitch.  I didn’t come lookin for you.

Haru: Heh so why you here?

Masashi: t-to take a walk…

Haru: ALL THE WAY TO KYOTO?!

Masashi: WOTEVA COME WITH ME BYE MOM *drags Haru outside*

Masashi: I TOLD YOU NOT TO WORRY ME U HAVE TO STAY WITH ME AND DONT JUST RUN OFF ON YOUR OWN BITCH.  DO YOU KNOW WHY I’M HERE!?!?

Haru: …to take a walk?

Masashi: EXACTLY.  W-wait no ARGH.  JUST DON’T DO STUPID SHIT EVER AGAIN.

Haru: sorry…but I cudn’t tell you and-

Masashi: I get it already.  And you know why I really came all the way here?

Haru: why?

Masashi: Cuz I love you *kiss*

Mimori Mamoru

Yeah “he” is a playable character >w<  daYUM Gen’s one horny bastard, not 6 sons but actually 7.  Good job old man *pats Gen on the back*.  He’s really Miyanomori Mamoru, the illegitimate 4th son.  He leads a double life: by day, he goes by as a nice slightly klutzy writer, and by night, he’s a crazy pissed assassin who’s hellbent on anally raping the entire Miyanomori family.  And the Sumida family for that matter.

Haru meets him by chance on the streets when he drops his handkerchief or summin and she goes to return it.  He at first thinks she’s some spy sent to tail him but hearing that she works for the Miyanomoris, he decides to keep her around to get info outta her.

From her, he hears about the Miyanomori ball and threatens Sanae that he’ll kill Tadashi if she doesn’t give him a false invitation and claim to know him at the party.  He snoops around the house, rmbing where everything is, which brother is which and bumps into Haru but he looks badass enough to not get recognised.

From then on, Mamoru gets closer to Haru, pretending to like her to win her over and going so far as to pretend to be her fiancee so she can continue working.  He orders Sanae to place Sanji under his control and this links back to Susumu’s route.  Soon, Mamoru’s plans are in motion and he has no further use for Haru and if she wants to know why, show up ere on this day.

On the day, Haru rushes over to where the guy is.  Mamoru has infiltrated the party and hacks up Isami before getting out.  Haru arrives and sees Mamoru runnin off, dressed as a soldier and covered with blood and stops him.  He reveals that he ain’t no “Mimori san”; He’s Miyanomori Mamoru, the son of Gen who wasn’t supposed to be born, and he advises her to get outta the Miyanomori mansion if she wants to live.

Hearing dat he’s gonna mass rape everyone, Haru runs off to stop Mamoru and wen he sees she wants to kno everything, he brings her to his condo.  He tells her that his mom, Kazue,  was Gen’s hoe.  She got pregnant and decided to raise Mamoru herself cuz she didn’t want him to be used as an heir so she snuck off and had him.  Gen caught wind of this and tore after Kazue so she handed Mamoru to the landlady of this place.  That’s all he tells her for now, and the next couple of days, she stays at Mamoru’s place and comments on how being with him feels like home.  She leaves soon and promises she’ll come visit him again.

When she returns, Gen decides to keep her after hearing abt where she’s been.  She’s put under house arrest so she can’t see Mamoru who’s pretty pissed the next time he meets her cuz “YOU PROMISED U’D COME SEE ME :@:@”  He continues abt his mom, and that Sanae killed her so that’s why he’s gonna do in the Sumida too.

Mamoru sneaks into Haru’s room days later cuz he got lonely and once again “IT’S YOUR FAULT FOR NOT COMING TO SEE ME”.  He leaves promptly though and tells Haru that he’s gonna kill the Saeki head at the Saeki ball next week.  Mamoru reveals who he is to Sanae and sez that if she cooperates, he’ll kill Gen, become the head and give the Sumida the entire fortune.  At the ball, Mamoru kills the head and saunters off.  He’s stopped by Gen however cuz the old man recognises him and he warns him that he’s gonna hack off the old man’s balls – just wait.

Sanae gets that Mamoru has tricked her and he’s not gonna help her in any way.  Fundin his actions or summin has sapped the Sumida of it’s little remaining money and Mamoru struts off cuz payback’s a bitch.  Next step of the plan.

Mamoru decides it’s time to kill Gen already so he heads over, only to find Haru at the door.  He threatens to cut her but still she refuses and in the end, he really does take a stab at her.  Mamoru didn’t expect Haru to still stand so he picks her up and takes her home to treat her wounds.

Haru’s wounds heal and she leaves.  Mamoru laments that he never wanted any of this, just a normal life, and he feels that he can leave his revenge behind if it’s to live together with Haru.

Mamoru captures Kisuke and hands him over to Sanae cuz he’s gettin in the way.  Haru is sent to spy on Sanae too and whilst she does, she discovers Kisuke under the floorboards and gets tossed down there too.  Mamoru breaks down the house to find her and hugging her, tells her to come live with him to still his anger for Gen – “Only you can stop me”.

Mamoru goes to kill Gen who admits that he did all that bad shit but rmb one thing: The minute he heard that Kazue gave birth to Mamoru, he rushed over to her.  She was the one who rejected him and decided to raise Mamoru by herself so Gen respected her wishes and just graced the newborn child with the name “Mamoru”.  Haru shows up just in time and tells him to go home together with her and before they leave, Gen tosses Mamoru his mother’s ring.

Outside, the two decide to part.  Mamoru still has a lotta shit to sort out and though he wants to make her happy, he can’t right now so he’ll now work hard to become a worthy man, so just wait a lil while for him.

2 years later and Haru has quit her maid job and is livin back with her family.  Mamoru suddenly comes to get her after publishing some ‘battle royale maid’ book.  He’s cleared up the crap with the Miyanomori and has been accepted into the family.  They have snowsex and he tells her he loves her and he’s taking her back with him.

Afterthoughts and Conclusion

HORRRRYYYY SHIET WHY DID I NOT PLAY THIS EARLIER *cusses and cusses some more at own stupidity*  and DAMN this post is long soz

Damn the brothers were cute.  Cept for Shigeru cuz he just annoyed me.  Hm…so faves are Masashi, Isami and Mamoru. I loved how stupid all of them were, like CKNGBIASV DKHGD7 Oh and I conclude that the ultimate tsundere ain’t Masashi – it’s Tae.  Tsundere till the end, least Masashi lightens up *A BIT*.  I really liked Susumu wen he’s in his cold killer mode and Tadashi said some pretty funny shit too.  That and Hiroshi cuz he really did grow up.  Haru was hilarious a heroine as well.  Oh and how can we forget old man Gen?  That awesome donkey boner (YMMV).

Music was pretty good cept the OP sucked.  I applaud Mamoru’s seiyuu cuz there really is a huge diff btwn his writer voice and assassin voice and same for Susumu’s one.  Masashi for fave cuz his “BAKA SHIYOUNIN” was hilarious.

Good art.  I like the style but the proportions and Haru’s face looked pretty weird in some shots.  Best chara design goes to Mamoru – damn his ninja look is badass.

And for the story.  I loved the maid thing and the humour factor in this is pretty high, had me roflin pretty bad.  The plot was alright too, real entertaining how Gen kept messing shit up for his sons just to amuse himself.  There’s the question of where Mamoru disappears off to in some of the routes but I overlooked it.  The routes are longer than most other games but it was interesting so it didn’t have me going “FUCK WEN IS DIS OVAR” and it had a pretty nifty reread function so if you forgot anything, you didn’t have to replay the entire route. Oh and moving backgrounds like the clouds, the mouths moved and the lights flickered – nothing big, but u kno wot they say, “it’s the little things” and it makes the game that much btr.

In short, DAMN this game was good.  Mb it’s cuz I kinda forgot abt this and put it near the bottom of my priority list but this game exceeded my expectations in every way (ok they were kinda low in the beginning but STFU) and was a treat to play, with a good combination of drama, humour and romance, lovable characters and a real slick system.  Srsly man, go for it I ain’t shitting you.