Otome Game Review – Wand of Fortune
Alternative Titles: ワンドオブフォーチュン
Release Date: 25.06.09
Platform: PS2, PSP
Genre:AVG, otome, romance, magic, Hogwarts
In a way, I guess you could kinda call this the Otome game version of Harry Potter lol xD Our heroine Lulu, goes to an Otome Hogwarts to learn magic. Everyone there has an innate element attributed to em, be it water or fire etc but oddly enough, Lulu has no affinity for any of the elements and is basically a BIG SUCK at magic, but it’s okay cuz in order to get an element, all she’s gotta do is stick around with someone of that element and guess wot, our 6 guys all have a specific different element of their own! Now doesn’t this make things so much easier? xD
So Lulu gets to the OHW school (cuz I can’t romanise the school name for shiet lol) and the teachers there are all “???” when she comes up blank for element testing. Well no biggie cuz just stick around someone with an element and you’ll get the same one as theirs so problem solved. Ere Lulu chooses a dude and studies blablabla Hogwarts school life with him.
Wind. Julius is the super magic nerd who spends all his time studying magic, experimenting with magic, jacking off to magic etc. He’s kinda airheaded and magic is all he seems to care about but he’s a real nice guy, is good looking so has his own manditory fanclub.
Kay so for the first couple of weeks, NOTHING happens. This game is extremely slowmoving, pissed me off more than Lamento did and the schedule for one day consisted of 5 pointless, tedious, excruciatingly boring events that repeat itself over and over again for like 168 days. Dear fucking god. Moving on.
So yeah Julius finds Lulu’s lack of magic skills + lack of inherent element fascinating and decides to stick around to check her out. Everytime he plays around with his magic, he always asks Lulu for her opinion cuz she’s “special” LOL and he ends up making a mutated rabbit plushie for her. He can tell that summins different about her wand and she sez dat her gran gave it to her and told her that it summons luck.
Anyway, after spending some time together, he realises that he doesn’t wanna do magic just cuz he likes it but he now wants to do it FOR someone – Lulu =D So for the final exam, he pairs up with Lulu and their task is to find out wot’s wrong with the school and get rid of the problem.
Unbeknownst to the poor kids, the ドS teachers have set loose a cockatrice in the school and das wot they’ve gotta defeat. They figure things out soon enough though and decide to pitch emselves in a deathmatch with the thing and seal it away. Shit happens during teh fight and Lulu has to jump in to save Julius and ends up looking at the cockatrice’s eyes.
Next day, she wakes up, conscious but unable to move. Turns out the cockatrice had a power cap on it or summin so Lulu ain’t stone, just petrified and the only way to get her back to normal is to kill/reseal the cockatrice. However, the teachers cast a spell on her that may allow her to move. w8 till tomoz to find out ;D Dat night, Julius visits her, apologising and sobbing like a baby and promises to return her to normal.
Anyway, next day she’s able to move somewot and goes comfort Julius who’s been staying up all night trying to figure out how to reseal the cockatrice. The two work out where the creature is and go together to beat it’s ass, returning Lulu to normal. Course the two pass the exam and Lulu’s element is now wind.
Earth. Like Julius, he’s into magic and crap but he’s different in dat he also wants to be the NUMBAH ONE WIZARD. Yeah so he sees Julius as a threat to dat and has some pathetic one sided rivalry with the guy. He’s kinda the butt monkey of the game, with a dynamic personality, one that irritated me a fair bit cuz he’s an arrogant pompous ass but he’s a good guy at heart and is never actually MEAN to Lulu, just doesn’t know when to STFU lol.
Cuz he’s so overconfident and shiet, he’s often messed around with and is extremely gullible. E.g he gets some jewel and he thinks it’s the super powah magical ruby thing of the world but in comes Lulu and she’s like “OMG I HAD ONE TOO WEN I WAS A KID!!” – lmao turns out it’s just a series of plastic toys or summin made for little girls LOOOOL XDXD Noel thinks Lulu’s shitting him and making fun of him but when he realises that she’s different and isn’t lmfaoing, he begins to like her some :)
Another time, Noel and Lulu gotta help out some movie I forgot but anyway, they end up doing a fantabulous MAHOU SHOUJO transformation lololol and then their wands turn out to be fake but it don’t matter cuz Noel’s having too much fun being a Madoka magical girl xD
And yeah likes her some more cuz she’s the one who’s always there to comfort and cheer him up whenever he starts doubting his own abilities and in return, he tutors her big suck magic – a win win situation. Lol it’s pretty cute when he likes Lulu cuz he’s so freaking obvious and he doesn’t really try all dat hard to conceal his feelings for her; in fact, he confesses to her pretty fast, saying dat he’s got der 好意 for her ;D
Fastforward to the exam. The two pair up and again, they’ve gotta find out how the teachers are deliberately fucking up the school. There are these chocolate coloured magically made non-living servants in the school called プーベ lmao PUBEs. They start tailing Lulu and Noel wherever they go and start having riots – someone’s given them free will.
At the same time, Noel’s told by a seer that he’s too reliant on his insect amber magic talisman and it’s preventing him from becoming a real wizard. Hearing this, Noel hands his insect amber over to Lulu and tells her not to give it back till he’s become a man wizard.
Howthefuckever, Lulu’s still not happy cuz Noel’s being a ball-less pussy and not doing anything about their relationship despite him having told her that he likes her. He’s all “BEETCH WOT U MAD FOR” which makes Lulu start weeping and going into an angry tirade of 「ノエルの馬鹿！！。。。私、ずっと待ってるんだ T.T」and he’s like “OOOOOOOOH” and finally asks her out, scarlet faced:
There we go ;)
We need diversity. In Harry Potter, Harry got der Asian Cho Chang. Well ere, Lulu’s got Bilal: the ARABIAN PRINCE. or mb he’s Indian I really don’t know, they keep mixing in Taliban oppression of women + indian drinks into his backstory lol. As his status suggests, he’s very princely but not so much that he’s suffocating and over the top. Very nice and smiley, he’s kinda like an お兄さん figure for Lulu, helps her out whenever her fail magic gets her into crap and seeing as he’s 21 and Lulu’s 15…Oh Bilal you pervert >xD Water dude.
Being splat in the middle of a desert, Bilal’s country suffers from severe droughts all year round and ironically, Bilal’s element is water and he’d use dat to help had his country not be chock full of dumbasses who reject the very notion of magic. In order to prove the importance of magic and to get over 9000 to help his ppl, he’s training ere.
Anyway, so he’s an extremely nice guy who’s always there to give Lulu a hand, be it rescuing birdies or dat she sucking it bad at her studies. He’s also prone to spitting out some rather embarrassing lines that mortify Lulu silly, such as telling her dat though the oppressed women in his land are all very sexy, she is THE SEXIEST OF DEM ALL!! lol summin like dat.
However, everyone has their down moments and Bilal one day receives a letter from his bro dat he’s gotta return home cuz the droughts are getting worse den ever. Lulu makes him realise dat he dun wanna go home yet cuz he still wants to figure a way to digivolve his H2O magic and save the country wit dat – I think a thank you glomp is in order
Lulu wants to hear more abt Bilal’s country so he tells her blablabla no one cares and he asks her to tell him about herself. In the end, she gets sleepy cuz she was too excited abt meeting Bilal to sleep and Bilal’s all “Oho, so it’s my fault that you didn’t get any sleep last night eh? ;)” and he decides to uh “take responsibility” so he pulls Lulu in between his crotch and tells her to sleep xD
So during the final exam, the lake in the school goes all Exodus Nile blood red so Lulu n Bilal head up to the source, only to find Julius’s fangirls knocked out, flowers in hand. They find out the flowers grow only around a Naiad, essentially a water nymph and when picked, cause ppl to sleep and never wake up unless the Naiad either returns to her slumber (uh in 2 fucking decades) or they keel her.
Lulu then finds out that the Naiad used to be in love with Bilal’s ancestors, was their fairygod mother and brought fortune to all his kids and so on. However, dem assholes took her for granted so she got pissed, left and began the flower curse thingy.
But it’s okay cuz there’s actually a 3rd way to fix dis all and it’s to form a contract with Naiad again. Bilal’s gonna need a shitload of power to do dat and in his land, when a prince creates a bond of love and shiet with the one woman he loves, he’ll be granted god powers SOOOOOO:
Bilal confesses dat he’s loved her long time near the start and wants to make Lulu his wife. NISHISHISHISHI damn this had me grinning hard especially with all the innuendo of “BECOMING ONE” and shiet xD So course Lulu’s good with it and the two say their vows and…
...SPEND THE NIGHT TOGETHER XDXD When Lulu wakes up the next morning, she’s out on the grass with Bilal and is all “I have become one with Bilal, I am his now” teehee and as proof of their “bonding”, Bilal’s retard slow jap speech is now gone and he can speak it like a non gaijin – their bond apparently “isn’t only physical” xDxD
Now having leveled up, Bilal and Lulu go together to form a contract with Naiad. It’s risky but it’s alright cuz with THE POWAH OF LOVE, the two make it through, capture Naiad, nickname her Lian (lmao Pokemon much) and Lulu passes the exam
In the end, the two are still in school cuz both wanna continue with their studies and Lian has to wait for her newly regained powers to stabilise first. Bilal ere is confused abt why Lulu refuses to share a room with him, much less a bed cuz now dat they married, there shouldn’t be a problem lol and seeing Lulu get all flustered gets him horny so he surprise snogs her in the middle of the streets – “I can’t wait to go home and PROPERLY MAKE YOU MY WAIFU >;D”
He’s fire half dragon kid (wot how does dat his parents i don’t even) who’s too GAR to use a wooden stick and instead, swings around a fucking BFS unlike all the other wizards xD. Personalitywise, he’s totally tsundere, all snappy and short tempered but not in the jerkass way and goes dere 24/7 and when he does SOAIUDFGASDFAS lol. He’s come ere to Otome Hogwarts not to learn magic but to cure him of his odd lil problem: whenever anyone of the opposite gender hugs him, he turns into an adorable chibi dragon xDxD
So cuz of his prob, he’s naturally all for dick and not vagina LOL and cuz of dat, he initially finds Lulu a nuisance and she totally doesn’t help by being somewot a dojikko, falling all over him and turning him dragon all the time xD
But like all the other dudes, he inevitably falls for her overwhelming moe and they soon become bff, him taking her on picnics and trips into his lil sanctuary forest and shiet. Once, he gets all nervous and shiet being with her or summin so in order to uh “calm him down”, Lulu decides to give him a peck on the cheeks – obviously this just exacerbates his nerves and he throws a crazyass dere fit abt it BUT WE ALL KNOW HE LIKED IT XD
And he finds out dat there are benefits to his problem of turning into a chibi dragon. He once gets so hungry he loses his mojo and becomes a mini dragon so Lulu decides to carry him back to school by cuddling him to her chest and the whole way through he’s like “BAKA BAKA UR HUGGING ME TOO HARD I CAN FEEL UR-“ XDXD
So onto the final exam. This time, a fire salamander’s gone nuts, its power upped by a medallion the teachers gave it. Normally this wouldn’t be a prob cuz salamanders are slave to dragons and Lagi could just tell it to fuck off but cuz he’s a half, he can’t do shiet and ends up needing Lulu to save him.
Next day, he receives a letter from the scientist thingies ere dat they’ve examined Lagi’s body but still can’t find anything wrong with him – his whole turning into a chibidora problem was purely psychological. It all stems from Lagi’s inability to choose whether to be a human or a dragon cuz halfers need to pick a side when they near adulthood and Lagi’s already 16 but he’s all very confused and stressed out about it so it resulted in his chibidora quirk.
However, the exam’s forcing him to pick a side cuz the chibidora thing is limiting his potential a hell lot so he chooses to be a dragon, meaning he’s gotta leave after the exam. Course Lulu no want dis shiet, starts baawing and all but Lagi tells her not to cry cuz he can’t anything abt it.
Still Lulu ain’t giving up n decides to take care of the salamander herself so Lagi wouldn’t have to choose just yet. Duh shit explodes and in comes oh so manly Lagi to save the day and he gets so fucking pissed dat the salamander attacked his woman dat he turns full out dragon and crushes the ugly toad lol.
Next day, Lulu passes the exam and her element is nao fire. Lagi decides to stay in the end, still hasn’t chosen but it’s okay now cuz he no longer goes chibidora. Lulu gets scared dat this’ll mean other girls will go for Lagi so she near cries and Lagi’s like “WUT I DO NAO” but tells her not to move, gives her a hug and confesses that he likes her and when he goes back to his village, he’ll be taking her with him ;) And then there’s a puff of smoke and Lagi’s a chibidora again LOL – seems like he got a boner or summin hugging Lulu xDxD
Okay I’ve heard so much abt this guy and this is wot I’ve gathered: Jap chicks love him, english speaking world hates him, he’s a sadistic son of a bitch and NEVER. EVER. believe the shit that comes outta his mouth. I think I like him already LOL xD Anyway he’s the flirty playboy type who finds Lulu adorable and teases her all day long. But das only a cover cuz dis bastard is actually a fucking 23yr old lolicon assassin who’s just out to fuck around with Lulu and watch her squirm and die on the ground.
Or so I’ve been told. Guess I’ll just have to see for myself no?
Alvaro starts off just like any other guy of his type: smooth talker, playful and hits on Lulu 24/7. I wouldn’t have suspected him to be anything deeper den dat really but then one day he saves Lulu from a berserk gargoyle and first weird thing is that Lulu notices Alvara to be grinning the whole time he killed the thing and starts to think summin’s off.
So yeah Lulu starts noticing the weird shit about Alvaro and I guess in an attempt to throw her off track and manipulate her, Alvaro confesses to Lulu out of the blue and acts like he’s in love with her.
Course, Lulu realises that the beetch is lying so treats his love confession as a joke and tells him to stop serenading her with 100% pure BULLSHIT. In order to get her to believe, Alvaro takes her out on dates and tries to snog her and shiet but all to no avail.
Well not really cuz Lulu does fall for him but still thinks he don’t really like her though that don’t stop her from choosing Alvaro as her partner anyway.
This time, the school’s security system of gargoyles go berserk due to a change in the medallion coin controlling the system or summin. Lulu goes to retrieve the coin, with Alvaro fighting off the gargoyles but when she gets the coin, she turns around and sees ASSASSIN ALVARO and is like “the fut is up wit yo clothes man??”. Alvaro ere finally reveals dat he’s an assassin from ” The Guild”, ere to receive his magic training but still an assassin with ulterior motives nonetheless. Up till now, everything’s been a facade and he can jack the powerful coin and leave nao but he wants to mess with Lulu some more and tells her to meet him tomoz nite.
Next nite, Lulu demands for the coin back and Alvaro proposes they play a lil game: She has to STEAL the coin back from him. He then goes onto casting a Guild spell on the both of em so dat their hearts are linked – i’m not too sure but I think it’s one sided onli so if Alvaro dies, Lulu does but it doesn’t work the other way round. Now magic officials can’t just kill him to get the coin back cuz den Lulu’d die too. If Lulu doesn’t manage to get the coin back in 3 days, not only will he use the coin to rape the school but Lulu’ll die.
Alvaro returns to school his usual self but Lulu’s scared shitless and the whole day, Alvaro continually horny whispers into her ears abt the assassin crap, how he betrayed her and tried to poison her etc. Lulu snaps, tries to bitchslap the asshole and asks why the fuck he’s doing this to her but Alvaro just does his ドS speech and sez dat it’s cuz he LIKES seeing her suffer before strutting off.
Next day, Lulu’s back to normal which disappoints Alvaro and she calls him out to have their final Shaolin Showdown lol. He doesn’t think she can do anything till she suddenly starts chanting a spell and when he realises dat Lulu’s casting a new Guild spell, he slips and tries to stop her, thinking that she’s trying to commit suicide or summin but it turns out that she’s just binding them together completely so now if Lulu dies, Alvaro will too.
Lulu wins the game and passes the exam. Alvaro doesn’t understand why Lulu’s bound em together cuz though it saved her, now he’s gotta hang round her 24/7. Course das exactly why she did it, so he couldn’t leave her and would always have to protect her to protect himself but she ain’t telling him any of dat, just like how she knows Alvaro really does like her but is messing around all the time. Instead, she simply kisses him, causing Alvaro to think dat it was a confession but Lulu just replies that she’s pulling an Alvaro on himself – “You’re the one who’s going to fall in love with me”. HAHA ALVARO =P
Unlike other preppy, annoyingly feminine shota, Est is a total BAD BOY OF DARKNESS >:O kay not really, he’s just Blessed With Suck ,a total kuudere, wise beyond his years and has a giant angsty past that he conceals with an odd combination of stoic and polite – he’s not at all MEAN, just too cool for u lol.
Cuz Est is a child prodigy and Lulu a bumbling airhead, Est finds Lulu to be an irritating tennen idiot who keeps interfering with his HL IB work and SATs and does his best to avoid her whenever. Course, he soon falls victim to her dojikko tennen genki girl charm and tolerates her stupidity.
He reveals later on dat he envies Lulu for always being so happy and shiet cuz he can’t be and he’s never had any family. Nothing some Lulu therapy can’t do and some head petting from her soon fixes things lol xD
Lulu then finds out that Est regularly sneaks outta the dorms at night and worried, runs off to find him. Seeing a flash of light from the woods, she runs towards it and sees Est doing some bondage chain magic. She’s all “HO SHIT WOT DER” but Est tells her dat he was just trying out some forbidden Avada Kedavra shit lol and dat if she really wants to help him, “…GTFO NOW.”
For the exam, there’s a mysterious purple haze + knight + the coin which Lulu and Est are to investigate and blablabla anyway Est ends up having to rip open a portal into a dark AU. He steps into the other side himself but leaves Lulu in the normal world and she blacks out.
It turns out he’s an experiment created by this group of messed up Ancient Ones for some stupid petty reason – he’s not human, doesn’t need incantations or anything to cast spells cuz of the tatts on him and whereas others have wands and talismans to up their power, his acts as a level cap cuz he’s just dat strong. He intended to find the coin ere, send it bak to Lulu and then lock himself away in this AU cuz there’s no point in him returning as the Ancient Ones would just reclaim him and use his mass nukes for their own selfish reasons.
Consequently, both are dragged back, Lulu passes and Est is thankful and finds new hope for living on. The end has Lulu forcing Est’s reply to her confession out of his dere dere mouth and dey lived happily ever happily ;)
So Elfart is a teacher which means teacher x student route ere. He’s a total wuss and can’t do anything for shiet, was a loner as a kid, no self esteem but oddly, has the balls to go after his own student >;) Kay no really cuz it was mostly Lulu going after him lol. Well anyway his route was incredibly stupid and boring in me eyes but oh wellz
SOMEHOW Lulu falls in love with this ball-less sensei along the way and during the exam, she opens up this box which contained some lung dissolving toxic gas and she would have died and took down several others with her had Elfart not come to the rescue.
Still she’s knocked out and after waking up a couple days after, she’s determined to solve the box prob she caused and tags along with Elfart. While casting a spell to clear up the fog, Lulu suddenly confesses to Elphart but whoops she fails the exam.
She’s from a line of badass seers who could talk to fucking STARS but somehow, this apparently wasn’t passed down to her cuz she cudn’t hear jack shit from the supernovas and crap (dear I think this just means ur sane xD). Cuz of dat, she’s all depressing and thinks she’s useless till she sees Lulu who tells her to MAN THE FUCK UP and try harder.
She pairs up with Lulu for the final exam but Lulu ultimately fails cuz instead of actually doing the exam, she raced around the town looking for a new talisman for Amy cuz the idiot broke her own crystal ball. Lulu manages to get Amy a cow bell which works good but Lulu still fails the exam yet is given another chance when the teachers hear why she’s failed.
In the end, all’s fine and dandy with the two of em, the two get high, climb some trees and start talking to stars lmao. u kno wot they say, “if you talk to god, you’re religious. If god talks to you, you’re psychotic” lol jkjk xD
Afterthoughts and Conclusion
PRAISE ME PRAISE ME. I ACTUALLY FINISHED THIS GAME XD
Bilal, Lagi and Est for me, thank you very much. They’re just to squee-worthy >w< Julius I found to be somewot boring though I liked how 素直 he was. Noel was pretty adorable, his dere level was like Lagi but he can’t top those 3. and Alvaro? I guess I liked him? I dunno I wasn’t feeling much for him cept for “HAHA U GOT OWNED BY LULU” at the end – I’ve always liked stepping on ppl who think they’re God at their own game xD Elphart and AMy just wasted my time and I loved Lulu, she was so godfucking cute HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG *nosebleed*
Music was annoying == Lol I’ll say Bilal for best voice cuz he made me lmfao with how retardedly white he sounded while speaking jap – oh foreigners xD
The art is brill cuz it’s Usuba Kagerou and I’m their never dying fanboy though I think their style wud btr fit darker, more gothic games like Edel Blume or Will O’ Wisp but still I loved the art <3 I liked Alvaro’s fabulous design the most, the dude has green nail polish man, and also Lulu CUZ SHE’S SO FUCKING CUTE HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG
Now for the routes. They were on a whole, pretty good, solid and din’t leave me going “the fut??” cept for Elphart’s cuz it felt so random and shiet o.O;; My fave route has gotta be Bilal’s, Lagi’s and Alvaro; a proposal mid game, manly chibidora kid and especially Alvaro’s rather open ended one – it was kinda refreshing to not see ur usual ‘I LOVE U” ending and I liked that it ended with both Lulu and Alvaro still not admitting their feelings for each other and continuing their SM games rofl
So yeah this game was awesome yo, the characters were all likable, good art, Hogwarts themed and all. But there remains the problem with the length and gameplay. 24 weeks of utter bs really ain’t me cuppa tea and in fact, I rage quit this game like 8 times and it took me 2 months to come back to it cuz I was that annoyed with the length. Each route will srsly take u more than 20 hours to play, combined with constant skipping and rage quitting but I guess dat can KINDA be overlooked cuz u can half the time needed by targetting 2 charas at once till 18 wks ish, save, go for once, reload and go for the other =D